March 8, 2014

• Sick Shop: A musical medical parody

  Since before my days of blogging, I loved listening to Weird Al, and writing my own musical parodies. They used to reflect college trials and tribulations and be sent on a mailing list to my friends, though as I have gotten older and more specialized, when I write them, I now post them to whatever blog I happen to be on. I feel this site has been running long enough for me to start sharing my musical talents, such as they are with all of you. My goal is to one day turn these into youtube music videos

  Thrift Shop by Macklemore
  Sick Shop parody by DoctorJ

  Hey, Doctor J! You the Hospitalist?

  What, what, what, what… [many times]

  Bada, badada, badada, bada… [x9]

  [Hook:]

  I’m gonna help some folks
  Only got twenty patients on my census
  I – I – I’m admitting, treating your diseases
  This is fucking awesome

  [Verse 1:]

  Nah, walk to the ER like, “What up? I got a big beep!”
  I’m so pumped about a full night of rem sleep
  name on the coat, it’s so damn white see
  That nurses be like, “Damn! thats a sick ass MD.”
  Rollin’ in, let’s go see, headin’ to the gi bleed
  ER did the workup ‘cept the guaiac that they left to me
  Draped in a sterile gown, nurses standin’ next to me
  Probably need to scope him, start ivf and foley

  (Piiisssssss)
  But shit, send a urinanalysis (Bag it)

  Coughin’ it, drawin’ it, ’bout to go and get some cultures sent
  Passin’ up on those scabies man someone else’s can admit’ that
  altered and septic, fuck it, man
  do abg’s and lp’s and
  start a central line and then call for my crash cart again
  I’ma take your grandpa’s pulse, I’ma take your grandpa’s polst,
  No for real – ask your grandpa – can I change his code status? (Thank you)

  acute chest pain and his hearts tachy
  EKG and CT clear so I keep diggin’
  They have cholecystitis, I treat cholecystitis
  MRI the brain then, treat optic neuritis
  Hello, hello, my ace man, my Mello
  Doogie ain’t got nothing on my fringe game, hell no
  beats and bp droppin, I could place lines all day
  The ER docs would be like “Aw, he got the IJ”

  [Hook x2]

  [Verse 2:]

  What you know about makin’ a good diagnosis?
  What you knowin’ about Horners Syndrome Ptosis?
  I’m digging, I’m digging, I’m searching right through up to date
  your a fib, that’s another man’s base rate
  Thank your copd getting that RT neb treatment
  ‘Cause right now youre up in her breathin’

  I’m full of Goodwill, you can find me in the (Unit)
  they not, they not dead, he’s breathing in that machine (Unit)
  Your grammy, your aunty, your momma, your mammy
  Vaccinate all the sick old ladies, one-hand, I shot that motherlover
  examine your feet take you socks off that motherlover
  I call code blue and they stop in that motherfucker
  They be like, “Oh, my chest fells hella tight.”
  I’m like, “Yo – that’s eighty milligrams of aspirin.”

  overworked physician, let’s do some simple addition
  skip your flu vaccination – that’s just some ignorant bitch (shit)
  I call that getting sicker and quick (shit)
  I call that keeping this doc in business
  That one common cold
  And having the same one as six other people in your job is a hella don’t
  watch this, come take a hear through my stethoscope
  Tryna get breath from a corpse and you hella won’t
  Man you hella won’t

  [Hook]

  [Bridge:]

  I run your granddad’s code
  I look incredible
  I’m in this white ass coat
  From that hospital down the road
  I run your granddad’s code (damn right)
  he said dont let me go (now come on man)
  I’m in this big white coat (big ass coat)
  When you need me now you know (let’s go)

  [Hook]

  • 7:36 pm
  • 1 Comment