June 11, 2003

• My weapon of choice is the lead pipe…no other tool so perfectly symbolizes rage at another human being…swords provide a quick merciful death if you don’t know what you are doing, not to mention they are technologically out of date. Guns also are too quick, and not only are you given no time to truly think about what you are doing, often they can be used to kill people w/o the person ever knowing who killed them or why. SO guns are too technologically advanced and impersonal. But the trusty lead pipe is the perfect fusion of old and new, a club with a shiny technological finish. It can maim or kill, giving you plenty of time to consider the implications of your actions, and allowing the target to realize the consequences of theirs in pissing you off. Plus, there is no seven day waiting period for a lead pipe, nor is there a collectors market.

  Now some of you may be wondering what inspired this disturbing, morbid little rant. And those of you who know me personally will quickly realize it is pigpen. For anyone new to the game, pigpen is my nickname for my roomate, as just like the similarly named peanutz character, he carries around his own little cloud of dirt with him wherever he goes. ANyhoo, I am attempting to collect the bills from everyone ahead of time since I am leaving the country before most of them come in, and he is quibbling with me over why he should have to pay now! >:-O I should also probably mention that he is habitually the last one to pay billz, despite the fact that he is the only one not contributing at all…his family is bankrolling, and therefore he proudly states he has never worked a day in his life. Accepting and patient of people as i am trying to become, this little shit would try the understanding of a saint. Thank goodness I will never have to deal with him after this week…coz otherwise, i gurantee you, the borrowed time he is living on would run out…anyway on to the next finalz parody

  Parody of Santa Ria by Sublime

   

  It’s my 4^th year, I’m a senior

  I ain’t got no crystal ball

  What I’m doing after graduation, I

  Don’t know at all

   

  Start checking the newspapers

  For a job needs to be found

  Though I’ve got no experience

  Time to start moving round

   

  What I really want to know bout my degree

  What I actu-al-ly learned I can’t define

  Well it’s cash

  That I need, oh

  A job will have to

  Wait til I move back, can’t pay bills on my own

  Mom and Dad, I’m coming home

   

  I am so broke

  Am so broke

  Am so broke

  And I got to pay bills

  Oh, yeah huh, well I swear that’s

  What I really want to know with my degree

  How easy will it be a job to find

  From college I’ve got to go,

  I guess I’ll have to

   

  But I really worked so hard

  For my degree

  I just really want to play for a short time

  But I’ve made it

  Yes I’m growing up

   

  Tell the students that if

  they know what is good for them, they best go enjoy life

  I just got a new 9 to 5

  And it don’t take long to see real life’s Not like what I thought

  Believe me when I say make the most of your time right now

   

  Coz I finally received

  My degree

  And I finally realized there’s no going

  On back

  And I’ll make it, yea

  Coz the real world awaits

  Yea yea yea

  Moral of the Story: Don’t be a little bitch to people you have to spend a great deal of time with

  • 2:38 pm
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