In honor of this here talk like a pirate day, I thought I be telling you landlubbers a story about me latest scalliwag of a patient. Naught but 3 moons ago, I be having a man come visit me for scurvy. He also be mentioning that he wanted to quit smoking before it be sending him to davy jones locker. So I wrote him a shipoard pass for nicotine patches. He set out to sea and was told to follow up on his next leave. Earlier this week he be returning to me galley for a follow up. I asked him how his smoking be. 

Pt: “Arrr, doc, i be thinking these nicotine patches you be giving me no have worked. I still be smoking and now me left eye be infected”

DrJ: “Listen ye salty sea dog you- wait, what? Why would your eye be infected unless…?”

That’s right me mates and lasses. This gentleman, like a true pirate, had been wearing his nictoine patch OVER HIS EYE for three months. And nobody had said anything about it to him. 

While the accents may have been changed for today, the above story be totally true. Enjoy the rest of your talk like a pirate day!

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me!

We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don’t give a hoot,
Drink up me hearties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me!

We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and we sack,
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle, and even hijack,
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me!

We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we’re really a fright,
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.

We’re rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves,
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.
We’re devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me!

We’re beggars and blighters, ne’er-do-well cads,
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho.
Aye, but we’re loved by our mommies and dads,
Drink up, me hearties, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me!

Aaargh! Happy Talk Like a Pirate day, mateys!

Ahoy me hearties!


It be International Talk Like A Pirate Day 2007, A day I, Cap’n Iron James Roberts bin celebrating with plenty o rum and grog for many a moon. Of course, I always be looking for more crew to set sail on this fine day with me (though not to touch me rum, or ye be walking the plank), and because o that, I gonna be attemptin to be teaching all o ye landlubbers how to be celebrating today!

First, be there any scurvy sea dogs who no be believin that pirates be stoppin in at all ports o call today, here be the link to talk like a pirate day!

ye can no be a pirate without a pirate name. Be clickin here to plunder one fer yeself, me hearties

Before we set sail, ye be needing to know how to be talking with yer crewmates, arrr. Here be an instructional video from me preferred seas o’ pirating, the internet

Now that ye be knowing how to talk like a pirate, let me be telling you, that it no be an easy life. Especially as a pirate doctor, i be swabbing far too many poop decks, if ye be catching me drift. But the medicine of the lubbers be improving since me early days o pirating, as ye can be seeing from this here ships log o “PIRATE MEDICINE“

In case ye all be wondering, Me first patient at the horizon o the day bin a wee jim lad who i be treating while talking to like a pirate. Fortune be for me that he be a simple medical eval and it be the best way o connecting with him, as I be swearing last year that at least one o me hearties be treated in pirate speak this year

Here be some highlights from previous pirate day posts

The best licence plate ever, yarr

Leave Blackbeard Alone!

List o Booty an Pirate Links
TLAPD 2006
TLAPD 2005

Capn Dan And the Pirate Rap

Now I be off to plunder doubloons and schilling and pieces of eight from the wee morning til I empty the rum crate. So wenches be wary, and jim lads be scared- Capn Iron James Roberts is to be afeared. For laptops be benches god gave us for wenches and a sail aint a low prices to play.
When timbers are shivered and lillies are livered And every last buckle is swashed,We’ll abandon our cars for a shipfull of ARRRs And pound back the grog till we’re sloshed. Yo ho

After departing Toledo, we returned to madrid and ate dinner. Very exciting, I know, but that is because madrid was still closed for business. The next day, I took the family on a little detour to the town of Consuegra, in the heart of La Mancha spain.

For all you illiterate heathens out there, La Mancha is the region Cervantes made famous with his tales of a demented old man by the name of Don Quixote. And Consuegra is the real town that one of my favorite Don Quixote Adventures is based on-tilting with the giants. So lets open a door into our imaginations…

The town square of another thriving metropolis in spain…

Ah yes, the famous windmills of consuegra, often confused for giants by demented elderly people. Quite a host was arrayed against me that day

Yes, but I was determined to succeed where Don Quixote had failed

This is a random castle that has nothing to do with this post, but i forgot to put it in the toledo pictures

This is the inside of a windmill

And this is the inside of a windmill that I have conquered. Take THAT great literature.
Oh yeah and did i mention that there was an actual castle near the windmills?

With real authentic construction equipment from the medievalteenth century!

The plains of spain were not getting any rain

The castle chapel

Dark Priest brian hidden in a back room

What to do with a dark priest in my castle?

I wont stand for it, even if he IS my brother…throw him in the dungeon!
 
better luck next time, villain.
 
And thus we returned from consuegra and storybook land to continue onto the south of spain

-J

P.S. a pirate comic

-J

To tide you over until new comic being posted later today

- I’d make her walk me plank
–I’d shiver her timbers
– I’d like to see her Kraken
– I’d like to plunder her booty”
– I’d like to play hide the rum with her
– like to teach her the meaning of avast
– I’d like to bury my treasure
– make her my cabin wench
– I’d let her be my land ho
– I’d pillage her town
– hoist her up the mast…
– I’d haul her sheet in
– I’d set sail for her horizon
– I’d like to get into her Davy Jones Locker
– I’d like to swash her buckle
– I’d like to go puffy all over her shirt
– I’d like to be buckin’ her ears (buccaneer-get it?)
– I’d like to get into her briny deep
– I’d love to land her lubbers
– I’d love to roger her jolly
– I’d broadside her
– I’d let her Jack my Sparrow”

-J

Swashbuckling:	11
Drunkenness:	9
Booty:	11
Weapons:	None
TOTAL:	31

bDeadly Ninja Josh
Sneakiness:	1
Pajamas:	19
Pointy Things:	19
Weapons:	Poison Dart

TOTAL: 40

There you have it. Ninja me versus Pirate me, and ninja me wins. Ninja me also has a blowgun…coincidence? I think not

want to try it yourself?
http://www.majcher.com/pvn/pvn.cgi

-J

Ahoy there me fellow wenches, sea-dogs, and old salts.

Cap’n Iron James Roberts wishin ye all another happy international talk like a pirate day, arrr! Every year on september 19, we swashbucklers o’ the se’en seas take to land, to plunder some oranges, and remind ye landlubbers o arrrr existence…but mostly to plunder oranges. (damn the scurvy that be sending me leg to davy jones locker and a peg floating up in it’s place)

for those o ye who be wishin to participate in national talk like a pirate day, here be some links in celebration o the occasion…

Even though there’s no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes
you’re the one in charge. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a
pirate’s life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty
well. Arr!

ye can no be a pirate without a pirate name. Be clickin here to plunder one fer yeself, me hearties
Now that ye be having yer name, ye should be learnin to speak with a more piratical bent…here be some tips

The Five’s A’s-the most important words in a pirate lexicon, as taught by capn slappy and chumbucket
How to talk like a pirate- a 50′s style educational video

Now that ye be knowing how to talk like a pirate, it be time to party like one

The official Pirates of the Carribean drinking game 2006

1. All your drinks must have rum- rum and coke, rum and water, rum and juice, straight shots of rum (VERY NOT A GOOD IDEA GIVEN THE AMOUNT OF DRINKING YOU WILL DO), but rum must be involved

2. If at any point once the game has begun, one of the players is caught not talking like a pirate, they must take a drink

3. If a player is caught doing such 3 times, they have to walk the plank…i.e. dunk their head in the sink or the tub

4. After obtaining your drinks, begin the movie pirates of the caribbean: curse of the black pearl.
   Take a drink whenever:
  -The words “Pirates”  “of” “the” or “carribean” is said
  -Jack says “savvy”
  -Jack gets slapped
  -Bootstraps medallion changes hands
  -anyone say’s ARRRR
  -whenever you see a parrot
  -Jack considers using that bullet on someone other than barbossa
  -Jack corrects someone who didnt call him captain
  -you see or hear reference to booty

by this point i be guessin that ye be good and sloshed. Here be some songs ye can be bellowing with yer mates and wenches

The official talk like a pirate day song and lyrics

Pirate Fed Ex Commercial
A Pirates life
Pirates vs ninjas
Captain Hook, attorney at law

Here be some photos o last year’s talk like a pirate day



Yo ho Yo ho A pirates life for me

in case ye be wondering, Jayan and I be tremendously drunk in these pictures

The final damage…1 and 1/2 bottles of rum consumed by me and Jayan

yARR…i be looking forward to another fantastic TLAPD…encourage yer shipmates to join, me hearties
Talk Like a Pirate day 2005

Yo, Ho, Yo, Ho,
It’s “Talk Like A Pirate” Day!
When laptops are benches God gave us for wenches,
And a sail ain’t a low price to pay!
When timbers are shivered and lillies are livered
And every last buckle is swashed,
We’ll abandon our cars for a shipfull of ARRRs
And pound back the grog till we’re sloshed. Yo ho ….

til then, happy plunderin, ye scurvy sea dogs!

-J

yarrrr! i just finished the pirates of the carribean drinking game and
although it is no longer technically talk like a piraqte day, just so
you all have some idea, of and the are used s a LOT in the moive and i
believe jayan and I managed to kill an entire bottle of mango rum in
approximately 2o minutes and about half a bottle of spied rum in the
next hour or something something. I dont know  a lot of rum was
consumed and many an ARRRR was said, but all in all a succesful talk
like a pirate something something or other and onl 364 dyas until the
next one.

YARRRRRRRR!

-J

Yarrrrr!

arrrr! Happy talk like a pirate day.

Now listen ye scurvy sea dogs, thar be more to come in me posts later
today, but in the meantime while i be searching for rum and booty, here
be two o’ me favorite pirate jokes

How much did the pirates piercing cost?
About a buck an ear, yarrr

Why couldn’t eh pirate get into the movie?
It was rated Arrrrrr

Avast ye! I be off to buckle some swashes and down some more grog,

-J

Yarrr

Alrighty very very short post…

Pictures have been posted! A lot of them!

Most recently, a dinner I cooked for some friends a few days
ago…vegan Italian Stir Fry…much as I usually deplore fusion
cooking, when I do it, it’s different The Recipe will be posted in
the reviews section of my xanga in a couple days when I have some free
time

Underneath all those pics…the other day I went to Body Worlds at the
CHicago Museum of Science and Industry and golly gee whillikers it was
so much of the awesome!…but those pictures are not available yet, as
they are on someone else’s camera.

This is because when I went down to the city on Sunday, the exhibit was
sold out…as we did not know museum exhibits could be sold out, Jayan,
Tony, Ritika, Brown Josh and I decided we were not going to waste a
trip to the city…so instead we wandered around downtown Chicago going
to our favorite bar for some midday cocktails…

Remember Kids, your not an alcoholic as long as you drink less than your doctor!

So yah, I got a Calcarinha, which is a Brazilian Drink made from lime,
cane sugar, and Carachas…It was quite strong and good times were
had…I dont quite remember what everyone else had, but my damn folding
chair kept collapsing underneath me everytime I stood up and it wad
quite embarassing til I had a few more drinks and no longer cared.

The we drunkenly rambled around the city some more til we sobered up,
drove back to north chicago and spent some time in the anatomy lab with
Charles…yay! what a way to end the day!

Underneath those pictures is the poker tournament I hosted a few weeks
ago with my buddy George. The Pics are pretty self explanatory…it was
a Texas Hold Em tournament with a 20 dollar buy in and the top 3
winners paid out in percentages. we had 17 people play so good times
were had by all…although no money for me. how sad.

Alrighty so That is that for pics…the other thing that It is a moral imperative to tell you about is

Oh yes, it’s a real holiday. And it will
really be celebrated. Here are some things to start getting you in the
mood. Also, i can just copy and paste this post on actual talk like a
pirate day if I get to drunk to remember to put something original up

Pirate Training Day audio clip
National Talk Like a Pirate Day HomePage
Talk Like a Pirate Day Song
What’s your pirate name? (Mine is Iron James Roberts…see previous posts)
Yohoho Puzzle Pirates online game
The Pirates Hold…tons o piratical fun including Pirate of the Month!

And because Escapism
was nice enough to throw up a porn reference in her post just for me,
and because I know she be a bonny lass who have a true love of the
pirates, I am going to share with you all My Pirates of The Caribbean
Drinking Game

Pirates of the Carribean Drinking Game Rules

1.Everybody’s must be drinking something with Rum…even if you are adding it to beer. A true pirate always has rum!
2. Everyone must have some article of clothing that is piratical…headband, eyepatch etc
3. Everyone may only speak like Pirates…that means only present tense and at least one yarr or me hearty every other sentence

If any of the top three rules are broken, the one who broke it must
walk the plank: i.e. a straight shot of rum first, then they must walk
a straight line (on a plank if you have it, go rob a construction site
or break down some old furniture) If they fall off the plank come up
with your own penalty….we usually make them take a penalty shot or at
the least a cup of salt water

Now on to the actual drinking game:

4.Whenever the words “Pirates” “of” “the” or “Carribean” is spoken, take a drink
5. Whenever someone says “yarr” or “Arrgh” take a drink
6. If the word “booty” is used, take two drinks
7. Whenever you see a parrot or a monkey take a drink

That’s it…and if it dont get you fall down drunk, then you are a true pirate. Good for you!

For added zest, throw in a dinner with carribean recipes…thats what I will be doing and there will be pics for all!

Til next time!

Coming Soon…
Recipes
Current Events?
whatever other crap i find

-J