clinic

  • On Doctoring: The Job Hunt Begins…

    Hmm, Top Blogs. That’s darn good incentive to keep writing.

    After graduating from residency, I took a month off. It was the Holidays, I had finally been liberated from a malignant work situation, I had the chance to be my own man again, to make my own decisions. I thought I could waltz straight out of residency and into any job I wanted. After all, I was a doctor. Young, certainly. Inexperienced, perhaps a tad. But a highly educated and motivated physician. People are always sick, how hard could it be?

    Pretty Damn Difficult.

    My interests lie in clinical academic medicine. I want to practice, but I also want to teach. Having knowledge is great, but spreading it is infinitely more fulfilling. A fellowship position would have granted me that, but thats a long story most of my old readers already know about and I wont go into it here. So the next best bet was to continue on as a hospitalist, ideally in a teaching hospital.

    I tried applying to several, but outside of my training facility, where I will not return, I’m still too young to obtain any kind of academic position. I dont yet have the experience and the breadth of knowledge, I would simply be a glorified resident. Not that I realized it at the time.

    No instead it took almost 3 months of unemployment. 3 months of turning down any jobs not in Los Angeles or Orange County. 3 months of thinking I was too good to settle for living in Bakersfield, Palm Springs, Riverside. Thinking that I would start at my dream job, top of my field.

    It wasnt a rude awakening but a gradual realization that though I may have graduated, nobody cared or knew the difference. It’s not what you know, it’s what you do. So, I started looking further afield. I still ignored permanent positions in places I couldnt see myself living, but now because I was looking for somewhere to continue to develop my skills while living.

    With loans rapidly coming due, and no source of income, I began searching for alternative methods of employment that would pay the bills, develop my skills, and give clinical thrills.

    And so I learned about the world of Locum Tenens (latin e.g. to hold the place of) aka substitue/temporary doctoring. 

    Doctors leave to have babies, to go on vacation, to move on to other jobs all the time, but patients need to be seen. This leaves clinics and hospitals understaffed, sometimes for only a few days, sometimes for months. While the hospital looks for a replacement, they will occasionally call into a doctor temp agency for someone to help out while they search. Its a good source of short term employment, and all the travel costs including room, board, and airfare are defrayed by the company. Essentially it’s a work vacation. travel the world, treat the sick, and get paid to do it. You just have to keep getting licensed everywhere which takes 6-8 weeks per new facility.

    So while I continued to search for my dream job, I accepted my first locums position. A Geriatric Clinic in East Los Angeles where none of the patients spoke any english. It was time to see just how fluent I was, in spanish and medicine, as I began my first real job as an attending physician…

     

    -Dr J

  • A Panoply of Patient Interactions

    I am backlogged up the wazoo with post ideas, so I am going to vomit one or two out and then hopefully blog em as I think em:

     

    1) Histories

    If you ever wondered why the doctor presses you to give more specific information, it’s because we don’t want our dictations to sound like this:

    Mr. Smith is an old man with pain everywhere for an amount of time he won’t tell me. He rates his pain as “okay” out of 10, can’t describe it, and says it is associated with a funny feeling in his legs. He takes a medication for the pain that starts with the letter R. He is not sure of the dose. He went to an emergency room somewhere for the pain a while ago and they took X-rays and gave him a shot of some kind, which didn’t help. He had an MRI ordered by some doctor. He doesn’t have the MRI or report, but he thinks it showed a disc

    This is how every one of my histories starts, and most of the doctor training is learning how to guide your questioning and direct the pain into something more like this

     

    Mr Smith is an 70 year old gentleman with a history of lower lumbar pain for>5 years as a result of a slipped disc from a skiing injury taken with his grandchildren in 2004. Recently after falling at home, he has noted increased pain sharp in nature radiating down to his legs bilaterally. This feels similar to his exacerbations of his herniated disc in the past, and he went to an ER 1 month ago where imaging confirmed herniation, for which he was evaluated by ortho and given norco until follow up with spine surgery

    See the difference? That’s 3 years of training right there. btw mr smith is entirely fictional

     

    2)Ethics

    I cant believe this actually happened. Via FB message and then chat no less from someone I havent seen since my highschool reunion but is on my friends list because, internet.

    “Hey, I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I just thought I’d call to catch up.”
    “Oh. Okay. Great. What’s up?”
    “I don’t know. Not much. You’re still doing the whole doctor thing, right?”
    “Yep. Third year of residency. Almost done.”
    “Great. So you already have a medical license and everything.”
    “Yes. That is something I have. 
    “Yeah, yeah. So, I was just thinking, you wouldn’t happen to be able to prescribe me some Ambien, would you? I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping.”
    “Uh, you should talk to your regular doctor about that.”
    “I don’t really have one. I just thought this might be easier.”
    “Easier, maybe. But I really can’t. I’m not your doctor.”
    “I don’t really have insurance anymore.”
    “Free clinics…”
    “Come on, what kind of doctors are working at free clinics?”
    “Doctors like me. Residents. I think it’d be fine, especially if you’re not working and can wait for a couple hours in a waiting room.”
    “Ugh. That sounds terrible. What if I pay you– not like you’re selling drugs or anything like that, but if I’d have to pay a doctor anyway, I may as well pay a friend what I’d pay.”
    “Not from me you won’t.”
    “Come on. Be a friend?”
    “Not a cool thing to want me to do, I promise.”
    “Oh, well. Figured I’d try. See you around?”

    I mean, really? We dont talk for years and then you hit me up as a dealer? I though I would be further into my career before that started happening

    3) Fun

    Oh clinic Patients, how I have missed you

    “If I use the nicotine patch and the contraceptive patch, do they cancel each other out?”
    “No.”
    “What if I get them confused?”
    “Don’t.”
    “If my boyfriend uses condoms while I’m using the patch, do they cancel each other out?”
    “No.”
    “My friend has some kind of ring she uses as birth control. Can I get that even if I don’t know my ring size?”
    *facepalm*

     

    my schizophrenic patient is telling me she doesn’t want to take her very much necessary medication, because she doesn’t like how it looks.
    “If you don’t take the medicine, you’re crazy.”
    [long, awkward silence]
    “I didn’t mean it like that.”
    “No, it’s okay, I am crazy. I know I’m crazy.”
    “You’re not crazy, you have an actual illness. I didn’t mean to call you crazy. The medication is important.”
    “Well, if you think I’m taking it, you’re crazy.”

     

    Really these should all be separate posts, but it’s just easier to stuff it into a super special post for you guys and then try and get back on track with multiple mini posts as they occur. Thank you, that will be all

     

    -Dr J

     

  • Awkward Moments

    Do you feel weird when your doctor is the same age as you?

     

    There is always a slight amount of awkwardness on my part when I have patients my age in clinic. Not something I feel when patient are 5 years my junior, or 20 years my senior. A brief eye opening moment, of there but for the grace go I. Two 30 year olds walking into a room, one accepting the absolute authority of the other.

    It doesnt affect my care, my treatment, or anything I do, but I guess I just have more a sense of awkwardness. If i were in their position, would I accept me as a doctor? Who is this guy to tell me how to live my life?

    With our older patients, my fellow residents and I act like we know what it’s like to have to take 10 pills a day, or how easy it should be to lose weight and cant understand why patients aren’t following our instructions. With our younger patients, we have crossed the line into adulthood, joining the vast cabal of “grown-up” knowledge giving us our authority and right to tell them to have safe sex, stop smoking and the like.

    WHen someone walks into the room who is my age, I always feel like I have been caught in the act. As though they are gonna call me out and be like, well you had everyone fooled for a while, but time to give up the game. Cmon, lets go grab a beer or something and you can tell me how this whole doctor thing worked out.

    I wonder, will I ever settle comfortably into the white coat?

  • Always Fresh, Always Real

    1)
    Dr. J: “Any other questions?”

    Mr. Clueless: “My wife is having a baby soon. When does the doctor poke holes in her nipples to let the milk out?”

    2)
    Mr. Allergy: “I’m allergic to Oxycontin.”

    Dr. J: “What happens when you take it?”

    Mr. Allergy: “I have no idea, but I woke up in jail.

  • Facepalm

    Mr. Biochem: “What did my labs show?”

    Dr. J: “Well, your homocysteine level was high, and…”

    Mr. Biochem: “That’s impossible! I’m not gay!

    Dr J: …

  • Patient Priorities

    Dr. J: “This is Dr. J, returning a page.”

    John: “Hi, this is John Anydude. You saw my girlfriend a few weeks ago for a left arm injury? She had a lot of trouble using her arm? I was with her at the appointment?”

    Dr. J: “What can I do for you?”

    John: “Well, she’s getting a lot better, like you said she would and, um, I…”

    Dr. J: “Yes?”

    Mike: “Is there anything that might, like slow down her recovery? Not a lot, ’cause she’s my girlfriend and all, but maybe just make it take longer?”

    Dr. J: “Um, we’re trying to get her better.”

    John: “Yeah, but she can use the arm for almost everything now, and when it was really weak she had me come in the shower to shampoo her hair for her, and that sort of got things going if you know what I mean…”

  • The protective effects of Fat?

    Dr J: I see you’ve lost almost 15 pounds since your last visit– that’s great! You’re sticking to the diet we talked about?

    Eaty McEaterson: Yep. But, doctor, I don’t think this is healthy for me.”

    Dr J: What do you mean? Your blood pressure is lower, eating healthier and losing weight is going to be good for your heart failure and diabetes, it’ll help your back pain, you’re really doing great, I’m very proud of you.”

    Pt:But my foot’s been hurting, and I think its because of the weight loss.”

    Dr J: ???

    Pt:It used to be cushioned with all of this fat. Now that I’m losing weight, there’s less cushioning, and when I walk, it’s really the foot that’s feeling the weight, without that cushion. I feel it all over. The fat made things soft. Now everything hurts

    Dr J: That makes no medical sense, let me take a look and maybe I can get some xrays if you have a sprain or fracture or something

    Pt: But now there is less fat to absorb the radiation and I am at a higher risk for cancer

    Dr J: *curls up into little ball and cries*

  • What You Say/What We Hear

    What you say: “I take my pills almost every day.”
    What we hear: “I almost never take my pills, and probably don’t even know where they are– if I even filled the prescription to begin with.”

    What you say: “I think I followed up with the specialist, yeah.”
    What we hear: “I did not follow up with anyone, and only now remember that I was supposed to.”

    What you say: “You told me not to eat anything before I came in, so, yeah, I basically didn’t eat anything.”
    What we hear: “I had breakfast, but I ate it quickly.”

    What you say: “I probably don’t exercise as much as I should.”
    What we hear: “The walk from the parking structure to the clinic is the longest walk I’ve taken since my last visit.”

    What you say: “Do I need to get that test done today, or can it wait?”
    What we hear: “Am I actually going to drop dead on the way out of the clinic, or can I forget all about this, forever and ever?”

    What you say: “But what I really want to talk about is this other symptom that I’ve been having for the past twenty years, unchanged.”
    What we hear: “Here is an irrelevant distraction I’m going to mention, that’s been going on so long that if it were important, it would have killed me already.”

    What you say: “And I read online that–”
    What we hear: “I am now going to prove that I have access to the Internet.”

    What you say: “No, that’s okay, I’ll call for a follow-up appointment.”
    What we hear: “Goodbye, forever.”

  • My First Diagnosis

    On yet another day of continuity clinic, I was expecting more mundane blood pressure and diabetes follow ups, another visit from my fibromyalgia patient, and possibly some genital related question. All in all, pretty standard fare.

    Hmmm…25 year old here for yearly physical, no past medical history. Oh good, I figured, this wouldnt take long…go in, listen to heart lungs poke around stomach and reflexes, send him on his way with a clean bill of health.

    Pt: Oh doc, I had a couple questions while I am here, the last doctor wasnt really able to answer them to my satisfaction and just sort of brushed me off.

    Dr J: alrighty, fire away…

    Turns out that the patient had had a 15-20 pound weight loss in the last two years, most likely because everytime he ate anything, he would throw up about 20 minutes later. He said his previous physician 2 years earlier told him he was a healthy weight and not to worry about it. Now, he was still a healthy weight, but I asked him, if he threw everything up, was there any pain or difficulty with swallowing, and he denied any. Then I asked him what foods if any he was able to keep down…and he mentioned his diet consisted entirely of fruits and vegetables

    At this point, the hamster wheel in my head began to spin…

    Upon further review I learned that the foods which tended to make him sick following their consumption included spaghetti, rice, milk and cereal, and occasionally alcohol, specifically beer

    Noticing a pattern? all grains. all gluten containing foods.

    So I sent him off to GI after ordering a comprehensive celiac disease workup including an iron panel and IgA antiendomysiall antibody and Iga antitissue transglutaminae. In earlier times, an antigliadin antibody would have been ordered as well, however that has been found to have a lower sensitivity. It came back positive.

    What makes this patients case so exciting (at least to me) is that he had no family history of any digestive diseases, and was from an ethnicity in which this particular disease is fairly rare and unlike the majority of my celiac patients who show up with the diagnosis already made, this was somebody who had absolutely no clue what was going on with him.

    Sure it was a fairly textbook presentation in terms of symptoms, but had he not seen me, he could have gone on for who knows how many years with the same problem, just being brushed off until some other doctor picked it up on a whim.

    My patient

    My knowledge

    My Diagnosis

    It was one of those moments that helps to remind me why I went into the field.

  •  

    1)A 36 year old drunk gentleman comes in to the ED; the start of any good joke right?

    Dr J: any history of cancer in your family

    Patient: no, nope, no sirree doc. My parents were both gemini.

     

    2) Or the schizophrenic pt who comes in complaining of back tumors. I look at his back which seems normal enough, if a little, shall we say, fragrant, and dont appreciate anything out of the ordinary. So I start a phyiscal exam, pressing all over as well as auscultating. When I reach the center, he exclaims, yes! there! and there! and a little below, that’s one too!

    Dr J: sir, that’s your spinal cord.

    Pt: That’s what all the other doctors said too, why doesnt anyone help me!

     

    Of course if the Hospital gets to be too much, I can always go back to clinic…

    Dr J: So you said you’d bring in a stool sample this time?

    The patient opens up his backpack, pulls out a paper bag, tries to hand it to me. “No, no, we’ll give that to the tech– the specimen cup is in the bag?” He gives me a blank look.

    Dr J:The specimen cup is in the bag– the cup with the sample in it.?

    Pt: Oh, you gave me a cup?

    Dr J: And you carried this in your backpack?

    Pt: Yes

    Dr J: Okay, I’m going to get the tech. Next time, just a little bit, in the sample cup. Not the whole thing, not lying in a paper bag. Okay? “okay.”