Quite a long break in between posts (oh no you moan, as you realize there is another metaphysical intro coming…) NaNoWriMo is almost here and the goal is to finish all the trip postings by then and just write every day for a month to get back into the swing of things. To start commenting back and participating in this community again. Partially because I miss all y’all and partially because I dont have a lot else going on for me IRL right now. But on to the last of the Irish posts…

On A last minute whim (see! I CAN be spontaneous) Brian and I booked a tour to go out and visit Newgrange, one of the oldest known dwellings known to man, a stone age construct predating the pyramids

The majority of the tomb has been reconstructed, but the duel entryway you see is original, as is the large rocks with glyphs and whirls in the front

As large as this thing is around the outside, once you enter it is roughly the size of a broom closet

It is unclear what the newgrange tomb was intended for, but we know it had something to do with the solstice as twice a year a single ray of light shines through the upper entrance and reached the back of the tomb

The prevailing theory is that all these whorls and spirals were drug induced. Cheers to the human drive, getting effed up on whatever is available

Another abandoned hut, but not quite stone age, Brian and I discovered while wandering where we werent supposed to. As usual =)

Hello Hobbittesses

Oh look we have found the shire in Ireland

Hidden throughout these rolling fields are other remains of stone age societies and tombs

The narrow winding walk to the center of the tomb

Next stop was the Hill of Tara, seat of Irelands high kings

Although the scenery is lovely, the was not worth paying to take a tour for. Ireland is filled with equally stunning scenery wherever you turn

It is said from the top of the high seat, you can see 30 of the 36 counties in Ireland

I only count 25 COWnties though. get it? haha I kill me

Ewe know what I mean

As it turns out, boy sheep are spray painted blue, girl pink, and all of them run away when you come toward them. Sheep are nervous creatures outside of petting zoos

I tried so hard to catch a sheep and boy, do I make a terrible sheperd. At least I had more fun running around like a maniac and rolling down the hill again though

And handily located nearby were these celtic crosses!

Well, this concludes the Ireland portion of our tour. Later that night, Brian and I hopped on a plane and crossed the water to arrive in Scotland, where we will continue our tour, but now with more scotch!

Just in time for Halloween, we bring you our own tale of horror and madness.

Brian and I are fans of being frightened, psyched in the supernatural, titillated by the terrifying. And thus, upon learning that Ireland and Scotland are some of the most haunted countries in all of Europe, booked us up a number of ghost tours. There was the ghostdigger bus our first night in DUblin, with brief stops at kilmainham gaol, and gravediggers pub. Then there was a haunted walking tour.

Brian and I wanted to visit the Ireland location of the Hellfire club (of X-men fame for you nerds out there), a hunting lodge of high society hooligans who would perpetrate terrible dark crimes against the populace far from the watching eyes of the city. Yet the tour guides canceled the planned outing, due to a lack of interest and numbers (the two of us being the only parties). As a sop, they offered a free haunted walking tour of the city which, while equally fascinating and recommended, was not what we wanted.

Using my newly accquired gift of gab from the Blarney stone outing, I convinced the tour company to allow us to do the tour if we could find at least two more people to make it worth the companies time to run this tour. And so, armed with only our wits, charm, and a touch of chloroform, my brother and I set out to find two companions to talk nto a horror tour on the outskirts of town. 

…And we actually did it! We found two interesting girls who had never heard of this tour but wanted to check it out. So we contacted the company and made the arrangements. Only to learn the next day, the private tour arranged for us was conditional on us still havng a rental car, as no transportation was available from the company on short notice. 

We then managed to convince a taxi to hire himself privately for the night, the girls to help offset the extra cost, and the tour guide to take us all up. In summary, Brian and I managed to use our Blarney stone blessing to defeat obstacles at every step of the way and make this haunted tour happen. That, my friends, is the power of positive thinking.

And after all that, there it is. The Hellfire club

Originally there was a cairn with a prehistoric passage grave on the summit. Stones from the cairn were taken and used in the construction of Mount Pelier lodge. Shortly after completion, a storm blew the roof off. Local superstition attributed this incident to the work of the Devil, a punishment for interfering with the cairn. Since this time, Montpelier Hill has become associated with numerous paranormal events.

This reputation was further enhanced when members of the Irish Hell Fire Club, which was active in the years 1735 to 1741, began using Mount Pelier lodge as a meeting place. Numerous lurid stories of wild behaviour and debauchery as well as occult practices and demonic manifestations have become part of the local folklore. The original name of the lodge has been displaced and the building is generally known as the Hell Fire Club. When the lodge was damaged by fire, the members of the Hell Fire Club relocated down the hill to the nearby Stewards House for a brief period. This building also has a reputation for being haunted, most notably by a massive black cat

This is the sacrificial stone, upon which on several previous occasions have been found various dead animals and assorted animal parts. No such happenings on this evenings however

…Somebody always draws a dick

While exploring the house, we heard a mysterious voice coming from another part of the lodge, inviting our group to come check out something neat. Heading upstairs, we encountered a young man claiming to be a psychic, attuned to the various multitude of spirits living inside the house. He brought out his amethyst, summoned up a local ghost and we began to play a very creepy game of 20 questions

We made contact with one of the local serving women who had been murdered in the house by fire. Speaking with her made the room icy, the air oppresive, and the psychic overwhelmed. He had to step away, and into another room where we came into contact with a much more malicious spirit.

With full night setting in, our psychic on edge, and the mood getting creepier by the moment, we decided to take our leave of the house and its hauntings before something more powerful than a crystal shaking poltergeist could manifest

But did we catch any orbs in the corner? lurking ghosts watching their prey escape?

Old cigarettes, or human remains…?

As we slowly walked away from the house on silent hill, we could feel our spirits growing lighter. Though we hadnt seen any objective evidence of the undead, we had clearly felt something amiss at the house on haunted hill, and we retired to the oldest pub in dublin, the Brazen Head, to talk through the experiences we had had along the way

Incidentally, if you are ever in Dublin and looking for a scare, check out http://www.hiddendublinwalks.com/hellfire-club-gallery.php hidden dublin walks. They offer about 5 or 6 haunted tours, all of which we went on, all of which are excellent, and the staff bent over backwards to help us get the most out of the experience.

Happy Hauntings!

-J

Having gained the gift of gab and gazed upon the gardens, Brian and I hopped back into our rental car and set off in yet another compass direction, deep into county fermanagh (say that as ethnically as you can) to head to the Marble Arch Caves, one of the worlds 5 geoparks

This place was in the middle of nowhere, took 3 hours to drive round trip and was 100% totally worth it for road trip time with my brother. 

So apparently a geopark, as designated by wikipedia is A territory encompassing one or more sites of scientific importance, not only for geological reasons but also by virtue of its archaeological, ecological or cultural value.…and the marble arch caves were the first such geopark in Europe

That is roughly our tour through the caves. You will note the spelunkers in a boat. splunking. speleology is fun.

Yes, Brian and I drove 1.5 hours into backwoods ireland so we could take a boat ride in a cave. Thats the kind of guys we are, and if you are shaking your head in dismay, you are clearly new to this site

The Marble arch caves are made up primarily of sandstone and limestone

I do heart me some nature time

Ooh! an entrance to the batcave, perhaps?

gratuitous celtic cross

Cave dock

The Porridge Pot formation, because it looks like…well, a lump of rock to me, but I guess if you are irish, you have some disappointing breakfast foods

This was one of my favorite formations. Its totally a little cave house on the river. Nature, you are one fine bitch

Getting photos with minimal cave lighting, not easy. Thanks for all those flashes, german tourist group!

So Brian and I enjoyed our boat ride/hike through the caves, but sadly, I have no facts for you about them, because the only availble tour group for us to join was entirely in german. Which is not a good cave language. There are lots of angry echoes. That said, we had a fantastic time despite the language barrier and spent most of the tour mentally redecorating our superhero lair. 

We are rapidly approaching the end of the Ireland part of the tour, but there are some great ghost stories and sights coming up, just in time for Halloween. I should hopefully finish documenting this 2 week trip within this month, and can get back to more regular posting in time for NaNoWriMo

Happy trails!

Having explored Blarney Castle, we continued to wander around the surrounding grounds, the groves of Blarney, and the druid/faery garden

One day, all this will be yours

The Faery Garden seemed innocent enough at first

But a single unexpected misstep and everything changed

I couldnt leave Brian abandoned to the witch’s tender mercies…

Mr P stayed behind to keep watch

The Witch’s staircase supposedly has the power to grant you any wish as long as you can go up and down it once with your eyes closed. Oh yeah, slippery rock steps, totally sounds like a great idea!

Potato Sacrifice!

We finally found the blarney witch and asked her to kindly transport us back to the real world

Top O The Morning! (One of many stereotypical Irish phrases I never heard along with “Faith and Begorrah!” and “No thanks, I’m the designated driver”). But I digress. The Next morning, top, bottom, or otherwise, Brian and I set off for the airport!…To rent a car

You see, we learned the hard way that practically nobody in Europe drives automatic. And as we dont drive stick, there were a limited number of places for us to obtain transportation to explore cork on our own. But we persevered and eventually…

Blarney Castle!

The Front looked quite daunting so we thought we might try sneaking in through the tunnels

That didnt work out so well as the prison tunnels were long, cold, and damp. No, I am going to say they were downright dank. Dreary, even.

Of course, Blarney Castle is famous for the Blarney Stone, granting the garrulous gift of gab on whatever guy or gal goes for it.

Now I dont know about you, but in my head, the Blarney stone was always some sort of seat, a flat stone kind of like a pond skipping stone, or the stone in which excalibur was held. Therefore whoever kissed it drew out the gift like the proverbial King Arthur, but with their tongue instead of their arm. I know, I was a weird kid,

As it turns out, it is set into the castle wall itself, necessitating you to hang upside down and contemplate what other bodily fluids might have come in contact with it over the years.

As the story goes, Cormac Teige McCarthy, the builder of Blarney Castle, being involved in a lawsuit, appealed to Clíodhna for her assistance. She told MacCarthy to kiss the first stone he found in the morning on his way to court, and he did so, with the result that he pleaded his case with great eloquence and won. Thus the Blarney Stone is said to impart “the ability to deceive without offending.” MacCarthy then incorporated it into the parapet of the castle.

Of course, Mr P, had to pass that opportunity, being afraid of heights

We felt that while the castle was exciting, the guardrails just eliminated the thrill. There was no risk, no danger!

Hmm, this looks promising.

Turns out it was full of things rare as nightshade and hemlock, to those as common as garlic (which can act as a blood thinner)

A quick climb up the lookout tower, and we set off for the Next Post, the Druid Garden!

After Trips to the distant ends of Ireland, Brian and I decided to take a day in Dublin to enjoy the simple pleasures

A Brieft stop in Michans Church, containt an organ on which Handel is said to have composed his Messiah

Oh yeah, and Bog Mummies. See, the limestone caverns that make up the catacombs of this church keep the air nice and dry, all the better to preserve those interred. Of the four coffins you see the one furthest back against the wall is believed to be a crusader based on how he was buried, with his legs crossed like one crucified

The cryptkeeper has exactly the sort of dark macabre humor one would expect from his position, and offered us an opportunity. For years, it has been said that to shake the hand of the crusader will bring good fortune. So moving aside the gate separating the living and the dead, Brian and I passed briefly into another world, and shook hands with an 800 year old corpse, to see how our luck may change

Then it was off to jail! Kilmainham Gaol to be precise, one of the new reform jails meant to rehabilitate prisoners with light and space

Okay, well, um, more light and space than previous

A number of political prisoners during Irelands early fight for Independence lived and died here, often over a very short time span

Hidden Mickey!

Seems so empty now

Only a few still remain.

But on to somethng happier. Having been to church and prison, it was time to lighten up

A friendly leprechaun pointed the way…

To the Original 900 year lease signed by Arthur Guiness, maker of Irelands National drink!

Hops

Water

And a secret recipe to make the most famous stout beer in the world

Look! It’s the backside of water! beer water!

Guiness is one of the few beers where the bubbles go down!

It is best experienced with all your senses

ANd trust me, it tastes worlds better at the source than anywhere else in the world. I would go so far as to say outside of ireland, guiness is barely even drinkable.

We also learned about the lost art of coopering, or barrel making.

A giant sculpted glass of stout

Then it was off to the rooftop bar to enjoy the perfect pour

So creamy, the bartender could draw a shamrock in our beer!

Mr P decided as Ireland’s national mascot, he had a right to try the national drink

Apparently he was a little mashed

Poor spud

Nothing a nap wont help

Well, church beer and jail, where to next?

Well okay, if you are going to twist my arm

Irish whisky is triple distilled, unlike scotch which is double distilled, and american which is only single distilled. They all have their own unique flavors

The older the whisky, the more color and flavor it takes on from the barrel, and the more evaporates, making the “angels share”

Another tasting

And my qualifactions

Admittedly, we may have been a little drunk that day. But no harm done. And as drinking makes you garrulous this would be perfect preparation for the following days trip to County Cork!

Having explored the northernmost section of Ireland, Brian and I returned to Dublin, had a pint, and the following day set out to explore another direction of the Emerald Isle. This time, we crossed the Cork and Kerry Mountains, setting our sights on Limerick, Galway and the cliffs of Moher

 

There once were two brothers so charming

who traveled places quite alarming…

Their pictures and tales…

describe their travails…

You’ll find them to be quite disarming!

This castle was built for the sole purpose of impressing the ladies. No really! Google that shit!

If this looks vaguely familiar to you at all

Thats because these are the Cliffs of Insanity scaled by the man in black in The Princess Bride

 

I have been blessed to travel quite a bit this year. India, Nepal, Singapore, Malaysia, Ireland, Scotland…looking back I dont know how I got so lucky. Each trip was remarkably different, not only in location and culture, but in whom I traveled with…my close friends, my girlfriend, my brother. Each one brought something different to the table, totally changed my experience of the country, and made it impossible to imagine doing with anyone else. Just wanted to take a moment to count my blessings. Anyway, onward to the tomfoolery

Arising early the next morning, Brian and I set off for Northern Ireland! After a quick breakfast of course

Our first stop, the Carrick A Rede Rope Bridge in Antrim.

This sums up my feelings about the experience pretty well. We could all use a little more wobbly bridges and discovering scaryness

Doesnt seem that bad, does it?

It’s a long way down to be wandering on a plank between two pieces of rope that were only added for tourists. This bridge used to be utilized for fishermen, who crossed it to reach the nearby island, a popular salmon fishing spot

Ireland truly has 100 shades of green

Just me and my potato, looking incredibly pensive and lonely

This is the softest grass it has ever been my pleasure to roll around in like a puppy. Read all the entries from the trip and you will eventually see a video of me doing just that!

After the rope bridge, we took a short drive over to the Giants Causeway.

Seen from afar, the causeway doesnt appear all that impressive, a simple strip of land jutting out to the sea. As the legends go the Irish Giant Finn Mcool, and his Scottish counterpart would shout at each other over the distance of the sea separating them

RAWR!

At one point, Finn threatened to come over to scotland to fight the giant and began building a series of steps across the sea, only to stop halfway when he realized just how large the scottish giant was, and retreat back home

But the scottish giant was having none of that, so he began the crossing himself, while Finn ran, hid, and told his wife

She came up with a clever plan, to dress Finn in the clothes of a baby, and place him in the bed of their child

Then, when the scottish giant arrived spoiling for a fight, the wife instead offered him coffee and told him her husband was out at the moment, but he was welcome to stay for tea and postpone the murder until Finns return. Bemused, he agreed

However, when a cry was heard from the next room, he ran in to see the biggest baby he had laid eyes upon and figuring that if the baby was that large, Finn must be even bigger, and not worth fighting. So he left, destroying the bridge behind him, leaving only the steps from Finns front porch behind

Also, a piece of his ear is somewhere still laying about.

In fact these natural rock formations were instead caused by volcanic eruptions and lava flow splitting basalt stones into this roughly hexagonal shape as lava flows hit each other

An impressive place to be no matter what the story of its origin, thinks Mr P

Castle on the Sea

Our next and last stop of the day was Belfast, one of the six counties of ireland that is still part of the UK rather than independent

These murals commemorate various sides of the fight for Irish independence, the loyalists and the IRA doing battle to determine the fate of a free Ireland

A lot of tragedy is quite literally, as well as metaphorically buried in this town

The old courthouse and prison stand as silent testaments to the horrors man can wage on his neighbor

This was all explained to us by the famous black cab tours of belfast, taxi rides given by those who grew up during what is only referred to as “The Troubles”

Even today, a large wall separate the protestant and catholic parts of town to prevent scrimmaging in a place where tempers still run hot beneath the surface. But we left our mark on the peace wall, two brothers who though we often fight, still come together for whats important

One of many memorial gardens to honor the dead from both sides who lost their lives fighting for what they believed in

All in all Mr Joyce, I think it would make a great story. Mr Joyce? Mr Joyce?

Our next day began bright and early, with a stroll along the River Liffey until we reached Trinity College

Trinity College is home to the Book of Kells, one of the oldest surviving illuminated manuscripts dating to the 8th or 9th century

The above is not it, but no photos of the Book are allowed, so you will just have to see it for yourself.

The above sculpture is entitled “The World”, but the local students refer to it as “The Death Star”. Told you Dublin has lots of Balls

But judging by the clock tower, CMON MARTY, WE GOT TO GET BACK!

 

So we hurried over to the train station with our trip mascot, Mr Potato Head, and set off for Bunratty Castle

The Mess, where the officers and infantry would have stayed. Although all the furniture is historically accurate to the period, nothing remained in the castle when it was found but the walls. 

The Great Hall, where the king would pronounce judgement

yes, he is.

King Brian and Mr P receive heads of state

While Vizier Dr J and Mr P deliberate on matters most grave

There’s a shortage of WHAT???

Quick! Hide me before some starving irishmen throws me into a stew!

Irish countryside from the ramparts of the castle

The great hall from above

Once again, the wind blows the door of this wonderful little virtual space open…Hi all, I’m home and back from yet another gallivant around the world, this time to Ireland and Scotland with my brother. He recently took the bar exam, and we figured we would celebrate the occasion by going on a brotherly binge to the land of a thousand welcomes, and the home of the highlanders.

So Raise your glass, toast Slainte!, and lets follow the Brothers through a thousand shades of green, beginning with the City of Dublin

We quartered ourselves in this converted wine cellar, Isaacs, now hostel to travelers from such exotic locales as germany, and northern california! A great hostel, cheap for the price, very clean and with a number of activities organized that we never quite found the time to make it too, but well worth your time should you need a place to stay

The first thing we learned? Dublin Has a lot of balls. It’s a recurring theme, though we are not quite sure why

Our first day was pretty much spent wandering the streets, taking the sites, and acclimating ourselves to a new continent, culture, and time zone. 

Temple Bar, in the the Temple Bar district was constantly packed with tourists, street performers (buskers, in the vernacular), and more bars than you could shake a stick at

 After walking the streets, we stopped in to visit St Patricks Cathedral

Yes, of THAT guiness family. 

 

 

 

Exiting the Cathedral, we explored the local park next door

I found a group of people playing capoeira, my former martial art before I got super lazy. Surprised how much I actually remembered

Brian with Molly Malone, the statue referred to as the Tart with the Cart. Miss Malone, a well known fishmongerer of her day, was believed to have supplemented her income with harlotry in the evening. Prostitution and fish-selling apparently have a long and storied history, and the ladies of the night would wear their fishnets from the day over their legs at night to accentuate their wares, emphasizing the catch of the day, as it were.

I cant even begin to tell you how happy this makes me

That happy, I guess

All over Dublin, brightly colored doors like those above are seen jumping out from otherwise plain buildings. We heard many stories as to the reasons for this, and my favorite is as follows: After the death of Prince Albert, the husband of Queen Victoria, which put her into such a state of mourning, she ordered all doors in the entire British Empire to be painted black. The Irish, being opposed to caving to such orders, immediately painted their doors as colorfully as was possible at the time. True or not, it’s a fascinating story, and one only too many tour guides and locals were happy to confirm

 

Dublin is built straddling the river Liffey, and supposedly hundres of hidden tunnels and catacombs cross underneath its banks as well as the city streets, just waiting to be explored, excavated, and perhaps even liberated of hidden treasure

As A final activity to our first day, Brian and I climbed onto the pictured bus for one of many haunted tours of Dublin. The company responsible for all of them was Hidden Dublin Walks, and puts on an excellent tour. Their guides are knowledgable, clearly enjoy their jobs, and are all super accomodating to requests. On this tour we visited and learned the haunted history of kilmainham gaol, trinity college, the viking church, and had a pint at a local pub, Gravediggers, where the undertakers used to request their guiness by tossing shovelfuls of dirt up against the back wall of the pub

Told you the guides were enthusiastic!

We met a couple of Dubliners on the tour, lovely ladies who joined us for a drink at a nearby whisky bar, where we made plans to meet up again later in the week for drinks and Dublins best fried chicken. All in All, the trip was off to a good start