March 1, 2004

• So last night was the oscars, where apparently middle-aged hobbit peter jackson used the one ring to sweep the awards solid. Don’t get me wrong, LOTR was a great movie, but it wasn’t THAT good. Or perhaps I should more accurately say, i didn’t experience an orgasm when viggo mortenson walked on screen. Although Vigo is a damn cool name, like that evil painting in ghostbusters 2. WHich also stars Bill Murray, who deserved the oscar but lost it to sean penn who is a giant ham. Which is often served with bacon as a breakfast dish. which is also the name of a movie star by the name of kevin. Yay Viggo Mortenson to Kevin Bacon. Of course, Kevin Bacon was in Mystic River with Sean Penn, so perhaps I could have done it that way.

  
  

  Alright, I’m going to stop myself for a moment here. That was not funny. At all. In fact, i am going to purposely leave it up to remind myself to never EVER do a post like this again. *sigh* for some reason, I just can’t manage to be funny online anymore unless I am mad at people. And herein lies the dilemma. I am trying to be a kinder, gentler, fluffier person, but nice people are not amusing…high strung, irritable violent people are…YEEEEEARGH. says the evil howard dean charlie brown mutant. Oh well. Perhaps You will all think me funnier in person at my stand up comedy show this week

  
  

   
  
  
  if you don’t, the US postal service is making snowballs available to throw at me for a great discount
  

  
  

  -J

  
  

  “At last….the precious”
  “Uh Mr Jackson Sir, you’re frightening us, please put the oscar down”
  
  

  • 1:55 pm
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