March 22, 2004
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*We interrupt Josh’s regularly scheduled xanga for a special announcement from the President of the United States*
” My fellow americans- There are those who would like for us to stay focused on the bad things and the negative in this upcoming election year. They’ll talk about the hundreds of young americans dead, and thousands wounded in iraq. They’ll say I misled the country about weapons of mass destruction, that I am unessecarily committing our forces to an occupation my own father advised against in his book, that I am already planning the next war on terror in Iran. These naysayers will tell you the economy is bad because we have a massive budget deficit that I am only worsening with my additional tax cuts, and that if the richest 1% of America decided to forgo that cut for one year, we could settle the deficit in California easily. These naysayers will tell you that American jobs are disappearing overseas faster than ever, and unemployment has climbed to a record high. These naysayers will warn you that I am planning to reinstate the draft because my war is so unpopular i need to invade civil liberties to obtain cannon fodder. They may even say that the Patriot Act i have tried so hard to push through congress to protect you from terrorists is unconstitutional merely because it allows things like unauthorized search and seizure, and taps on communication lines, and racial profiling.
Well. I have this to say to the naysayers. I believe in looking forward to a POSITIVE future for this country, and I’m here today with some GOOD news that all Americans can be happy about…
I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.
Good night and God Bless America”
-J
“He who would give up freedom for security deserves neither”
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A kiss may be grand, but it won’t pay the rental on your humble flat or help you at the automat. Men grow cold as girls grow old, and we all lose our charms in the end. But square cut or pear shaped these rocks don’t lose their shape. Diamonds are a girls best friend. Tiffany’s! Cartier! Black star, Frost Gorham, Talk to me Harry Winston tell me all about it.
There may come a time when Iraqis need their freedom, but Marines are a girl’s best friend. There may come a time when a hot-boiled iraqi oiler thinks you’re very bad, but load that mag or else you’re fragged. He’s your guy when stocks are high but watch how republicans make em descend. Its then that the donkey elects a different party, Marines are a girl’s best friend. I’ve read of attacks that were aimed at a civilian, But Marines are a girl’s best friend. And I think affairs that you must keep resilient are better bets if army cadets get big berretts– ya ok thats enough