October 3, 2004

• Man, it’s October. That’s so…authentic and autumnal. I just want to like, bite pumpkins and take a bath in apple cider and see my breath and jump in leaves and stuff. No? Just me?

  
  

  if you have to turn into something at Midnight, don’t be a pumpkin, coz the neighborhood kids will smash you, or stick a knife in your face and carve it. And I dont think that would be fun. Unless you are into that sort of thing

  
  

  Or maybe they will make a pie out of you. Kinky.

  
  

  

  
  

  The tragic fate of Cinderella’s delicious coach

  
  

  That Thon-th-thon-thon-thon

  
  

  October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Not to be confused with National Breast Awareness month, which is the rest of the year. Thanks to early detection, although the number of women diagnosed is increasing, those dying from the disease are decreasing. So don’t forget to give yourself a breast exam…or if you’re cute, I will do it for you…no charge. So what is the link above? The 3rd Annual Blogger Boobie Thon. What is it? Basically, bloggers  (such as myself ) submit pics of their covered nips and that acts as eye candy for people who then donate money. Believe it or not, this is legit and not porn. OK well it is porn, but for a good cause. If you are a male and made it to the end of this post w/o clicking the link, award yourself 3 points. If you are a female and didn’t make it to the end of the article w/o clicking the link, award yourself 5 points. If you are asking yourself how i found the link and manage to correctly guess, you get 100 points.

  
  

  Headlines

  
  

  Let’s play the headlines game…I give you a link, and excerpts, you tell me funny or scary:

  
  

  Hey! Not Fair!-Says Dubya- Over strenuous objections from the Bush administration, Congress is moving to increase protections for federal employees who expose fraud, waste and wrongdoing inside the government.Lawmakers of both parties say the measures are needed to prevent retaliation against such whistleblowers, who reveal threats to public health, safety and security.But the administration says the bill unconstitutionally interferes with the president’s ability to control and manage the government.

  
  

  The Passion of the Bush-George W. Bush: Faith in the White House,” a DVD that is being specifically marketed in “head to head” partisan opposition to “Fahrenheit 9/11 is being released on Tuesday. Some excerpts from the review

  
  

  -More than any other campaign artifact, it clarifies the hard-knuckles rationale of the president’s vote-for-me-or-face-Armageddon re-election message

  
  

  -Bush is not merely a sincere man of faith but God’s essential and irreplaceable warrior on Earth. The stations of his cross are burnished into cinematic fable

  
  

  -Will George W. Bush be allowed to finish the battle against the forces of evil that threaten our very existence?” Such is the portentous question posed at the film’s conclusion

  
  

  

  
  

  Nobody defeats the GOP Knight!

  
  

  Of course, if you are looking to go on a crusade, there may be a future for you in the Federal Vampire and Zombie Agency

  
  

  Just think, if I do manage to ever give my future child the middle name “THE” he/she will have a career already waiting for them

  
  

  …The Dworetzky, Vampire/Zombie Slayer

  
  

  -J

  
  

  Josh is coocoo for cocoa puffs

  • 12:41 pm
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