October 12, 2004
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Yippe Skippee! Another new subscriber. My inner attention whore rejoices. and now on to today’s post, entitled
LINK-O-RIFIC
Hmm. where to start…I know…how about I bitch about politics…no, religion…no politics…wait! I’ve got it!
Perhaps I am mistaken, but last I checked we had a separation between church and state.
In an interview in his residence here, Archbishop Chaput said a vote for a candidate like Mr. Kerry who supports abortion rights or embryonic stem cell research would be a sin that must be confessed before receiving Communion.
“If you vote this way, are you cooperating in evil?” he asked. “And if you know you are cooperating in evil, should you go to confession? The answer is yes.”
Somewhere along the way, Bush apparently joined the ranks of Jesus, Mohammed and all the other prophets on a direct line to god. Hmm…i dont want the U.S. to be involved in any more unecessary wars started for profit of faceless (Halliburton) corporations? Yep, I must be evil. Shouldnt the church be concerned about the death penalty, which Bush supports…isn’t a criminal life equal value with a fetus? coz if you say no, guess what? youve just placed a value on life. Hypocrites.
The Birds and Bees-on Sunset and Vine
In the new Playboy, director/tinfoil-hatted conspiracy theorist Oliver Stone reveals the screamingly Freudian drama of losing his virginity, as Daddy Stone generously took him to a hooker.
Yes, I read Playboy for the articles. Naked women are nice too. wish there were more of those around. But man, did I get some hot article on article action in the library today. I read 3 science magazines at the same time baby! woot.
All the fun of the original, none of the problems of sticky pages. You can thank me later…after you have clicked your mouse. heh.
What do Kindergartners and Executives have in common?
Besides a propensity for dick and fart jokes. East Coast-based MetroNaps has offers fatigued workers and sleepy executives an alternative to taking mid-day naps in cubicles and car backseats. For the low low price of $14 dollars per 20 minute nap, those who have partied the night away but need clarity for the daylight hours can drive to a local MetroNaps location (read: one in NYC, as of present) and take a seat in their white-noise, egg recliner and catch some Zzzzz’s.
Mmm, i love the smell of capitalism in the morning. Here’s a thought-maybe business should just provide a nap room and cookies to their employees. I am a fan of peanut butter. Yum
Hip Bacteria now in the planning
Scientists have managed to grow square bacteria.The culture needs to be hypersaline: at least 18% salt, which is roughly the same concentration as soy sauce. I thought this article was interesting, because I am lame. This was however one of the articles that participated in the learning orgy mentioned earlier in this post that is quickly growing too long for its own good
More Creative Names
a court in china ruled that a man cannot name his child “@” becuase it cannot be translated into mandarin. Good thing I live in a democracy, where i can name my kid anything I want.
Well, I think i have gone on long enough. Maybe I will keep doing link-filled posts on a once a week thing, or if a really good one comes up in the news.
I have become such a news junkie since coming to North Chicago. which I am sure you have all figured out by now. I read the NY Times, the LA times, the Chicago Tribune, CNN, and a host of others. Why? Becuae I dont’ have a television here, and I need something to do when I dont study.
Well let me correct that statement. I DO have a television, but I have not bothered to pay for a cable subscription so I get three channels. NBC, ABC, and WGN. since the only show I watch is scrubs, my TV is used mostly for DVD’s and my xbox. My lack of television watching vastly confuses the local cable companies
Telemarketer: Would you be interested in subscribing to cable Mr. (horribly mispronounced version of my last name)
Me: No thanks I dont watch TV
TM: (clearly having missed the significance of my comment) HBO is having a special this month if you sign up
Me: Oh Really? In that case, I still dont watch TV
TM: Really? you have satellite? Cable is better sir
Me: I am going to explain this to you in small words and all the languages I know. I. Do. Not. Watch. TV. No miro la television. Terebi wo miranai. (*signs television no watch*)
TM: why not?
Me: (giving up) because I am Amish. In fact if mom and dad find out I have a phone, the’yll tan my hide for sure. (changes voice tone) Jedidiah…who art thou speaking with in thy room (changes back) No one-eth, Father Ezekiel. (to TM) : I have to go now, there’s butter to be churned
Really, some people just make it TOO easy. Alright…Aytch, let me know the next theme for Recipe Korner. Everyone else…debate post tomorrow.
-J
…Josh is always up for a barn-raising
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Why Not Zoidberg
Comments (3)
Ay! That be Idleness!
great post. But I feel hurt… you’re not letting me partake in the debate? heh, that rhymes. It’s an assonance. I love that word.
Really, how do those dastardly bastards get our names and phone numbers?
Heh, clicked your mouse.
This comment was put forth with no expectation for a reply.;)
Goodnight Jedidiya.
Sherrie
Hahaha! The Amish thing. Gotta love the Amish thing.