September 22, 2005

• Hey folks, not too much to update on my life lately with the exception that during anatomy lab my group kinda sorta dislocated charles shoulder while flipping him over. heh, oops.

  It was a LOUD dislocation too, such that all the groups around us turned to looks. his arm kinda got caught underneath while we were flipping him and yeeah. that will teach him to sass us. However, it did make it much easier to maneuver around the upper extremity and axilla, so BONUS!

  Also, my dissecting skill i getting much better provided i pretend like i am 5 again and nobody lets me play with sharp objects. As long as i only use a blunt dissector and forceps i am getting to be downright amazing at clearing structures for identification. but put a scalpel in my hand and kiss nerves and arteries goodbye. So i guess i am no longer the butcher, but the demolition crew.

  Fun history about cereal…thanks google!

   In the early 1800′s there was a man named Sylvester Graham who believed that inappropriate sexual desires (being a horney freak nasty) was the true cause of every major illness.  Back in the 1800′s this was a completely legitamite theory because the medical profession was thought of as wicked.  Graham believed that the key to staying healthy was a proper diet, and sexual moderation (no monkey spanking, and sex about as often as married people with adopted children)

  Historically Graham is regarded as a crazy person (because he obviously wasn’t getting any), even though 200 years later sex is the cause of a lot of major diseases.  However Graham’s poiniant insanity towards eating and sex influenced a man named James Caleb.  James Caleb invented a wafer out of flour, and other bad tasting bland substances he called “Granula” and was feeding it to crazy people in his sanitorium in New York (who I’m sure where just begging for some CoCo Puffs).  A lady named Ellen Harmon who ran her own sanitorium in Battle Creek Michigan discovered Caleb’s crappy crazy people cookie and started feeding it to her crazy people as well (to keep them from trying to have sex with each other believe it or not.  She believed that sugar was the cause of randiness)  Harmon then hired a doctor named John Harvey Kellogg to diagnose the sugar deprived, crazy, not so horney any more residents of her sanitorium.  All of these people were followers of Graham’s “sex is the cause of the flu, and sugar is the cause of sex” philosophy.

  For some odd reason Harmon’s crappy crazy people cookie struck John Kellogg and his brother William Kellogg as a savy business opportunity.  They figured people were humping each other at large in the streets in 1902 spreading disease on the brink of sexual insanity.  What America needed was a flavorless, grainy, flaky food to eat in the morning to curb their wild victorian sexual desires.  Thus Corn Flakes were born (cereals own Oops !! baby).  But it wasn’t an easy transition from food for crazy horney people to, part of your balanced breakfast.  White was crushed that something designed to clense the human soul was being sold for profit.  John Kellogg was mad at his brother for putting a sprinle of sugar on the corn flakes to gain sales (he believed this added sugar would turn every corn flake into a libido liberator and every consumer into a raging sexaholic, and his business was not prostitution via cereal).  The Kellogg brothers eventually sued each other in a court case I can only assume was called “the case with the sexually frustrated cereal guys.”  William Kellogg eventually won the case, took over the company, and told his brother “Puitan morals are for wussies.  Trix are for kids.” 

  Now 200 years later we have a whole isle in every grocery store of cereals designed specifically for kids that at one time people believed would make them all diseased teenaged mothers.  I can only imagine the types of protest that would be going on if any of this philosophy was still around.  Could you imagine angry mothers at Wal-Mart with picket signs that say “my daughter won’t be turning Trix!”  “Down with Cherrio’s!  We don’t want to feel like ho’s!”  “My daughters Lucky Charms are sacred and pure!” and “Jesus would eat Oatmeal!”

  From it’s very beginning’s cereal was created by people who were absolutely insane. 

  And now some links!

  Tired of getting caught in touchtone menus til the end of time when calling comapnies? The Find-a-Human database is a collection of touch-tone recipes that get you through big companies’ voice-jail systems and through to a live operator.

  So we all here about refugees every day (no, not wyclef and pras) but we dont know what it’s like to be them. Well the medical group I hope one day to join, Doctors without Borders, is building a refugee camp in Manhattan to give New Yorkers a feel for refugee life so you can see how its killing them softly:

  A three-day interactive Doctors Without Borders exhibit lets New Yorkers in on the misery at a simulated refugee camp in Central Park, complete with temporary housing, a heath care clinic and a food distribution center. Visitors will be able to taste emergency food used to combat malnutrition, learn how basic sanitation is essential to survival, and hear refugees’ stories

  An article on the physiology of cursing. fuck.

  Okay last one…its been a science day. how many of you saw the movie by John Woo, Face Off?

  Your face will be removed and replaced with one donated from a cadaver, matched for tissue type, age, sex and skin color. Surgery should last 8 to 10 hours; the hospital stay, 10 to 14 days.

  Complications could include infections that turn your new face black and require a second transplant or reconstruction with skin grafts. Drugs to prevent rejection will be needed lifelong, and they raise the risk of kidney damage and cancer.

  After the transplant you might feel remorse, disappointment, or grief or guilt toward the donor. The clinic will try to shield your identity, but the press likely will discover it.

  The clinic will cover costs for the first patient; nothing about others has been decided

  Giant pink bunny

  
  

  -J

  • 11:09 am
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