October 6, 2005

• Irony (n): an incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs

  Ex: Today during lunch, ryan and I are enjoying our meal when a fellow student asks to sit down and join us. No problem, the more the merrier and whatnot. Ryan and I continue our conversation about finding some way we can have office hours so people will not be asking us physio questions at all hours of the day when we are trying to study, eat etc. New Student then just tells us, “if people keep asking you guys questions when you dont want to answer them, why not just say ‘i don’t know’?” Ryan and I respond, we have tried that it doesnt work. New Student insists that it should.

  Approximately, oh 5 seconds later, New Student proceeds to say, oh by the way in physio lecture today Dr. McCormack did this thing can you explain why…Ryan and I look at each other, hardly able to believe that he is asking us a question while we are eating, and then we shrug our shoulders and say, I dont know we didnt go to lecture today.

  New Student then proceeds to say, well were there any questions on your exam? will he ask this type of question? will he…? We continue repeating I dont know through the end of our lunch, and then split off from him on our way to the educational affairs office, and appreciate the microcosm of what has become our lives

  *Update: While sitting in histo lab RIGHT NOW TYPING THIS, another student just walked up to Ryan and I (who is at the comp workstation beside me) and says, i know you guys are busy, but can i ask you a physio question?

  I respond, no. She then PROCEEDS to start asking the question, which is something along the lines of can you  tell me why this happens this way

  I respond again no. She KEEPS TALKING. Ryan caves and makes an attempt at answering the question, while Jayan just tries to keep a straight face.

  DO i just have a face that people wont believe a negative coming from? is that it? Do her actions seem rude to anyone else, or am i just being a dick? enquiring minds want to know.

  Finals are rapidly approaching, meaning it is once again close to the time where I will not be able to study on campus. Thank goodness for my laptop and flash drive that allow me to study anywhere with a flat surface to rest my computer on.

  On the upside, i have spent enough time in the anatomy lab that i am feeling like my brain is finally being used for the smart-making it was intended for, and not just as a storage container for a delicacy enjoyed by select tribespeople in Papau New Guinea. Now i just need to finish learning arterial supplies and innervations.

  Do Unto Others…

  Ever hear voices in your head telling you to do something? Of course not, because if you did, we would call you crazy and lock you away. Unless of course, that is, the voice in your head was not actually the crazy talk, but the VOICE OF GOD. Can’t be disobeying the voice of God, now can we? Not even if you are the president of the united states

  Nabil Shaath says: “President Bush said to all of us: ‘I’m driven with a mission from God. God would tell me, “George, go and fight those terrorists in Afghanistan.” And I did, and then God would tell me, “George, go and end the tyranny in Iraq …” And I did. And now, again, I feel God’s words coming to me, “Go get the Palestinians their state and get the Israelis their security, and get peace in the Middle East.” And by God I’m gonna do it

  God then followed that up with, George, on your way back from creating a palestinian state, could you pick up my laundry? Thanks, dude.

  Let’s call it a draw…

  

  The above photo is the result of a battle between a burmese python and an alligator. As you can see, the python swallowed the alligator, and then proceeded to burst when the alligator clawed the snake while being swallowed. Although, as Jayan noted, you have to give props to the snake for effort. I mean you have a tiny little python looking at an alligator and thinking to itself “Yeah, I could eat that.”

  At last, music with a porpoise…

  After long years of waiting, scientists have finally done something useful for humanity by teaching Dolphins to sing the theme from BATMAN! A tear welled up in my eye upon learning this news. I kid you not. Okay yes, the study teaches that humans are not the only mammals who can recognize and repeat rhythms, and there were some other language study significosity* involved, but they picked the batman theme to do it to. I must find a way to attend the conference where these findings and presumably the dolphins will be presented.

  *ever notice how by adding “osity” to any word, you can make yourself sound more scientific? Try it!

  This week in unintentional porn…

  An army sergeant walked into a Tucson bank and handed the teller a note that said he had a bomb in his mouth. Things went badly for the would-be robber and he ended up on his knees handcuffed to a pole with a robot probing his mouth for a bomb. There was no bomb.

  This fellow is going to spend the rest of his life living this photo down. And he is going to be mister popular in prison too, i am guessing.

   

  -J

  Josh’s pain makes people laugh
  

  • 3:34 pm
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