October 13, 2005

• I had no choice but to post this. really. My own sense of humor held a
  *metaphorical* gun to my head and said if you do not put this up for
  everyone to share, i will never EVER let you find anything funny again.

  So here it is. NORTH KOREAN AEROBICS!

  SOME RANDOM THOUGHTS:

  1.there, now that that is out of the way, didja ever notice how
  combining almost any animal with any other word makes it funnier? For
  example, monkeylips.

  This goes double for curse words. i.e. batshit, goatfucker, etc.

  2.how does one go about doing something half-assed? can you think of a
  single activity you can do with just half an ass? If it is an important
  activity, how does the other half of the ass grow?

  3. Thailand Vegetarian Festival. Imagine if these people ate meat. Homeboy has already turned himself into a shish kabob

  

  *side note: attention all friends in japan- I will be journeying to
  visit you during the month of february. yes, the whole month. I am
  giving the advance notice now, so if you would like to perhaps host me
  for a few days, or join me at a friends house for a week in thailand,
  let me know. reminders will be posted

  4. We have not heard any new terrorist warnings for a while. guess they
  have gotten bored with us. Also, allow me to take this opportunity to
  say how ridiculous the color coding system is. Like a Dr. Seuss Safety
  Measure

  would you, could you, wage jihad? blow us up to please your God?
  I do not like Americans, i do not like them akbar I am

  5. when i smoke out of tiny pipes, i have a tendency to squint or close
  one eye completely, and pucker my lips when exhaling, like i am some
  sort of junkie popeye* However, while my spinach does not give me any
  special powers, i CAN blow smoke rings, and if i am inebriated enough,
  will even say toot toot

  *Is popeye his real name, or just some really cruel, yet accurate
  description given him by his fellow sailors during his seafaring days

  6. I can whistle and hum at the same time…Neat!

  7. This saint has
  got be thinking he has the worst luck in the world. I mean, would you
  be the PATRON of the thing that killed you? I think not. And his
  alternate blessing option is not too hip either. How do you think the
  church sorts out who gets to be the saint of what?
  Pope: hey guys, luke is a pretty cool name…what we got left?
  Cardinal: hmm…archery, sailing, ninjas, and puppies
  Pope: dude, ninjas are awesome. Luke is now the patron saint of ninjas. Who’s next?
  Cardinal: next name is Blaise
  Pope *brief pause* wool. definetly wool. and throats. sucker.

  8. I was looking at a map of the world, ans identified the Indian
  Ocean, and the Black Sea, as well as the Red Sea. Then i pictured a
  Caucasian Sea, and laughed. It would totally persecute the other seas.

  9. Political junkmail has strange logic. I have been getting a bunch
  lately, and several of them feature some guy’s baby photo or childhood
  photo under his name. Why am I supposed to elect this wistful looking
  child to congress or any other elected position? and what about once
  having been a cute kid leads you to be qualified to be in charge of
  anything? I bet even Dubya was a nice enough baby.

  10. Up until 10 minutes ago, i had completely forgotten about the NOID!
  remember the NOID!? I was still able to eat pizza when this guy was
  popular. That is how long ago it was. Man, i feel old. I remembe
  playing the old nintendo video game. Did you know that a hostage
  situation directly resulted because of the Noid? well, you do now.

  11. Ruminating on the 80′s also made me rember the california raisins.
  If someone has a tape of their christmas special, please tell me. I
  have an odd desire to watch it again

  12. You didn’t think i forgot about wacky porn internet time, did you? Goodness no. Otherwise there might be someone out there who would not confuse me for some sort of pervert *

  The above link is smiley safe for content, although it would be weird
  to have this image pop up on your screen at work. *Waves* Hi smiley,
  what u been up to these days?

   I cannot seem to stick to a topic this post. My brain is like
  some big hippie group house, with ideas wandering in and out at all
  hours. Ideas playing frisbee golf, ideas eating some granola based
  concoction with their theoretical fingers, ideas arguing about whose
  turn it is to do the FUCKING DISHES CANT ANY OF YOU SLACK-ASS IDEAS
  CLEAN THIS HOUSE IT IS TOTALLY DISGUSTING IN HERE and all the flannel
  clad ideas in my head are adjusting their postulated granny glasses and
  saying, “Whoa dude, chill out.”

  -J

  The Josh has exams next week

  • 1:50 am
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