December 7, 2005
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Study break bonus edition!
Make the world your bitch — elegantly — with a set of rhinestone-encrusted brass knuckles in gold or silver
Hey! Now i can win a pulitzer!
Miss the wacky porn posts? then donate money so I can purchase this porn company being sold on ebay! Then i can pay off all my loans in the most offensive way possible!
From the auction listing for the unnamed company:
1. This company is in the Green. 100% Debt Free
2. You will own the rights to all our intellectual property which includes the masters to all our movies, archive footage, photo shoots and a remaining inventory of 12,000 DVD pieces. All paid for. All yours. The intellectual property along with the remaining inventory is worth over $350,000. Remaining inventory of DVDs are all current, all shot and produced in 2005.
3. A complete set of movie making equipment. Including two Panasonic DVX-100As, Ariflex lighting system, Sennheiser sound recording system, boom, portable lighting system for cameras, complete soft-light kit, steady-cam, C-stands, sandbags, custom made cases for both yours cameras and much more.
4. An industry editing system. State-of-the-art system which you will need to edit either your archive footage for compilation re-release, or for your future projects.
5. Our entire fleet of corporate office equipment delivered to where ever you please. Including premium custom made computers, printers, etc…
6. An invaluable list of nearly all Distributors-Wholesalers/Adult Bookstores, and International customer network. This network of distribution is used by other Adult companies such as Red Light, Vivid, Wicked, Adam & Eve, etc..
7. A pre-paid credit with an Adult Entertainment Lawyer with over 25 years experience.
8. An established real estate network which allows you to use upscale locations for your future shoots. These locations can be seen in television shows and movies. One such location can be seen in MTV’s “Kill Reality.” Other houses are used by rappers like Ludicris as party houses and much more.
9. A pre-paid marketing network aimed at maximizing distribution sales. All paid for. Just hop on the bandwagon.
10. Residual royalties from established VOD and rental companies like Hotmovies.com and XrentDVD. Paying you to use the rights to your movies.
11. An established relationship with all your favorite and current Adult Stars. Company records include there real names, addresses, phone numbers and other personal information. These records are kept because of Federal laws.
12. An established relationship with Playboy XM satellite radio. A relationship which will also be passed onto the new owners for future marketing needs.
13. An instructional course in Adult Entertainment from a professional Adult Entertainment Director. You will learn everything you need to know to direct and produce the very best in Adult Entertainment.
how awesome is that?
Seeing as how I will be traveling to Japan soon, I will need to make sure my passport photo is up to date…but why waste money on some lousy service that will end up giving you a mugshot when you can create it yourself using this handy guide?
-J
Quote of the day:
Why can’t more people be nice like that?-me
I don’t know…the law of averages?-ryan
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Why Not Zoidberg
Comments (3)
Anything you agree is true, I reflect so
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Thanks for your comment. If this whole ebay thing doesn’t work…I know it is a stretch and student loans are bad enough to cause people to do crazy things for money…but you could take pictures of your “self” (I’m so not typing it) and sell them on ebay. I mean get creative…like a scrapbook! Oh, yeah – you’re pretty funny so you could design this scrapbook and put it up for auction! Anyway, just trying to help.
Have a Blessed day!
MK
You know it’s a set up right?
Have a Blessed Day!
MK