January 23, 2006

• Dance for me puppet, says the smoking monkey

  hello folks.

  So I have this replicator going wild in my head and throat, and its
  extending its phenotype all over me in an attempt to jump across to
  other people. I remember how boggling it was when i first realized that
  the runny nose and sneezing and coughing isnt
  a matter of the body’s defenses bravely combating the replicator, but
  is rather the replicator manipulating the body like a puppet, tickling
  the body’s hapless gears and switches and handles in ways designed to
  launch copies of the replicator off into the air, or smear it on door
  handles

  this, in addition to studying, has contributed to my recent lack of posting lately

  getting sick just changes your whole mindset and priorites…all i want
  these days is a nap…a good two or three day long one..but with exams
  coming up beginning this week, that seems unlikely to happen. However,
  while my particular cold is making me very tired (well, the cold or the
  ninjas pumping sleeping gas into my room again…DAMN YOU NINJAS!)
  other parasites may completely take control of your brain!
  
  Random Quote of the day from my brother:
  you know, one person who rules over everything-dictator-y? its an adj. tom was dictatory on monday

  So i was doing one of my weekly google searches on monkeys, and i learned that they have a completely different technique for opening bananas! According to outdoor adventures:

  “What is the correct way to open a banana?
  The
  correct way to open a banana is a matter of choice. It can be seen that
  the optimal way to open a banana is from the non-stem end. This allows
  easier opening without bruising of the fruit, offers a stem to hold on
  to as a handle, and is the way that monkeys open their bananas. On the
  other hand, the traditional method (stem end first) has been a societal
  standard and thus must have some advantages. We suggest that you try
  for yourself on at least 10 bananas each way and decide for yourself.”

  The thought that we have a societal standard for opening bananas makes
  me really amused for no good reason .I’ve been opening my bananas
  stem-side first all my life.monkeys open bananasby pinching them on the
  other
  end. Boy, it’s a lot easier. I’ll never open a banana the dumb way
  again.

  

  And Apryl, i ran across these quotes of childrens lessons from the movies, and it made me think of you…have your kids had any more good quotes for the book lately? some of my favorites:

  Don’t be afraid to help sharks

  I learned that you should never take a former evil king on a long desert hike.

  Never play that game

  How to fight about toilets

  Penguins have troubles too.

  If you lose your baby you will get mad.

  No matter how clean they seem grandpa’s got your back.

  Dude, i might make one of those my new sidebar: Look! A Decoy!…Penguins have troubles too. what do you think?

  In my younger days, i dabbled in the world of recreational narcotics.
  Well alright, not only did i do my share, i also probably did yours,
  but thats really beside the point now isnt it? Anywho, i remember it
  being hard to describe what different things were like, and my
  incentive for trying them…until i came across this:

  Baudelaire on hashish:

  “At other times, music recites you inifinite poems, or places you
  within frightening or fantastic drams. Harmony and melody become
  intextricably linked with the objects around you. Paintings upon the
  ceiling, even the most mediocre or dismal, take on a startling life of
  their own. A limpid, enchanting river winds through a field of
  trembling flowers. Nymphs with gleaming skin gaze at you with immense
  eyes clearer than water or sky…All philosophical problems are
  resolved. All of the secrets about which theologians have grappled and
  which have been the despair of human understanding, now appear
  transparent and clear”

  Dont you want to smoke now? I mean, honestly. Baudelaire is down on
  hashish in general though, because it makes you lazy. I think i could
  handle a little laziness if all philosophical problems were resolved
  and nymphs with gleaming skin were around, dont you?

  The Josh thinks learning tickles

  • 1:22 am
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