January 24, 2006

• The post that made baby jeebus cry

  I felt like a google search on christianity today. I am almost positive that some of my readers may find some of these things offensive, so here is your warning. If you read any of this and dont like it because you are christian…forgive me

  All you heathens and sinners out there, enjoy!

  Just because jesus forgives doesnt mean you have too…join karate for christ! We’ll beat the wicked out of you!

  or if you are worried about causing harm to others, i guess you could always wait for bibleman to come to your rescue…totally not ripped off every marvel and dc comic hero.

  Bibleman probably just does it for the chicks. I mean how else can you impress thos hot christian women…missonary dating!

  Okay i really have to take a moment to say how much that last link amuses me, to the point where i am going to post excerpts in case you dont click on it as i know so many of you are wont to do…

  “ Hello, my name is Tamara! As you can probably tell, I’m a Christian woman who loves Jesus Christ and cares for all humans, even the wicked. What you probably don’t know is that I’m hot. My picture below isn’t really that good. I want to use my beauty for GOD, and want to encourage Christian women to do the same, according to the Great Commission.

  oh but wait it gets better…

  Not only can we date hot guys (as only hot Christian girls could do), but hopefully we can lead them to God and help them get saved them from the burning fires of Hell. I’ve outlined a few tips to help you get a date off to the right start, step-by-step. Jesus saves through hooking up with cute heathen guys!

  and what are some of these tips?

  if he wants to hold your hand…give him a bible
  if he tries to kiss you, tell him you dont speak in tongues

  almost as good as the mormon guide to how not to masturbate….making its 4th appearance on this weblog! man do i have a one track mind or what? I really need to get a date…but with my busy schedule, who knows when i will have time to volunteer again at my local mental correctional facitily?

  The current nazi pope has also gone ahead and decided that divine right is copyrighted…apprently there are way too many bible pirates out there getting the good word out to the people to early

  And a whole host (haha get it?) of other recreational christianity links!

  Anyone out there i haven’t offended yet? How about some of these advertisements then?
  

  
  

  

  Okay to all my christian friends and readers…despite this post, i do respect you and your beliefs, but sometimes people can take a good thing to far, and really that is what my mocking of various religions is about…learn to laugh at yourself yo!

  In me news:

  I talked to one of my friends who is worried about a test he did poorly on. While i am not happy he feels that way, it is nice to know that those of us who all grew up together still have the same problems and worries as we used to, if in larger arenas. I got confidence in ya buddy and no doubt you will pass your situation with flying colors

  I, however, am boned. I need a high B on this exam…which is doable…but last time i went in feeling like i was all over the material like white on rice and pretty much got anally violated by the practical. So i just dont know…no matter how much i study i dont think i will feel ready. and that is not something i am used too. In the past, i have always known going into the test how i was going to do…whether well or poorly in terms of preparation, and after had a pretty good gauge of how many i missed or got right…but this time i just dont know and that terrifies me…however it has been a good motivator to study, and other people seem to think i know my shiznit, so i guess silver lining to every cloud, but man i hope this is the last class that screws me over like this

  and thanks to those of you who have already expressed confidence in my ability. I may doubt myself, but your support does mean a lot, even if i am too phone-phobic to call up and thank you

  Alright, nothing else new in my life for the moment..so peace out y’all

  -J

  The Josh thinks Jesus was the original OG

  • 12:35 am
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