January 29, 2006

• Medical Mnemonic Fun Time!

  1)What inserts into Pes Anserinus? Some God-damned Tendon

  Sartorius, Gracilis, SemiTendonosis

  2)The branches of the facial nerve: Two goats bit my crotch

  Temporal, Zy(goat)matic, Buccal, Marginal Mandibular, Cervical

  I’m losing body parts faster than I can find new ones. Faster than Marty McFly.
  Fast. And furious. It’s not that they’re going anywhere on the physical
  plane, but their common names are starting to sound less familiar by
  the day. I’m beginning to think my brain’s gotten the go-ahead signal
  to start deleting information, no matter if I like it or not.
  Personally, I think getting rid of the lyrics to So into you or the theme to Captain Planet might be wiser places to start the neural trimming, but I guess you don’t really get a say.

  My shoulder’s way gone. Has been for awhile. Hands and
  fingers left a while ago. Pelvis has drifted away. Now legs and feet
  are falling apart quickly, too. Did you know the leg is only the part
  BELOW the knee? i always thought of the whol lower extremity as my leg.
  

  Maybe this is just because I’m
  a med student (and yay for that!), but now that I’m learning every part
  of the human body, I’m kinda pissed I was never taught it before. It
  makes you appreciate your body a lot more. Or it does for me, at least.

   for example, I used to always think of my shoulder as, well, a shoulder. Y’know—the
  rounded-off area between your neck and your arm? It always had a
  definite shape (”shoulder-shaped”), it was fairly solid, and, although
  it never had any specific boundaries, I kind of had an idea of where my
  shoulder started and ended. Turns out, I was completely wrong.

  It’s not really a body part to me anymore. It probably will never be
  one to me again. It’s a collection of bones and muscles and tendons and
  ligaments that are shaped in a certain way. That notch on the top? Used
  to be the defining palpable area that I’d call my shoulder. Turns out,
  it’s the acromion of your scapula.
  I know! Who knew? Follow it down, that bony part—it’s more scapula. And
  around the front? Scapula. Clavicle. It’s hard to convey the feeling or
  the contrast. Of course I knew we had bones, but now, I know exactly where they are. My shoulder’s not a shoulder. It’s a scapula. With muscle all over it.

  It’s the same with muscles. I knew we had muscles, but now, I know exactly what they do.
  It’s a bizarre feeling trying to examine yourself, figure out where
  your muscles are, and what’s making what move. It’s so natural, so
  thoughtless, that even trying to think
  what muscles are
  moving seems forced and out of place. It’s as if I’m somehow surprised
  that we don’t have to will our muscles to move. Biceps Femoris, 
  long and short heads, contract! Extensors digitorum, go! Tibialis
  Posterio, plantarflex!

  Have you all figured out the level of stress that this anatomy exam is causing me? HAVE YOU?

  well if you have, you are probably asking why there has been no parody written yet. Well folks, here it is

  To the tune of U2′s still haven’t found what i’m lookin for

  I’ve reflected, I have probed
  I have searched my frontal lobe
  Only to see through you
  Only to see through you

  I’ve tried bluntly,
  I’ve tried sharp,
  Looked around your meta tars
  Only to flex you
  Just minimi and you

  But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
  But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

  There’s your ASIS, on your hips
  And profundus, in your fingertips
  These words I acquire
  This learning desire

  But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
  But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

  I believe knowledge will come
  But where are you, infundibulum?
  Infundibulum!
  Yes I’m still searchin’

  But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
  Oh Doc Manion, I haven’t found, what I’m lookin’ for�

  -J

  The Josh still hasn’t found what he’s looking for…but he’s checking under the sofa cushions next

  • 6:31 pm
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