May 6, 2006

• Email

  I’m always surprised at what interesting e-mails I receive.
  “You girl is unsatisfied with your potency,” states one subject line in
  a very authoritative tone. This excites and concerns me.

  First,
  excitement – I thought I was single, but apparently I am not. I hoped
  to find her name and contact information in the text body, but no such
  luck.

  Second, concern – I unknowingly have potency problems? This
  doesn’t seem like a professional manner of breaking the news. However,
  there is a link, that if clicked on, promises me she won’t leave me for
  another man. 

  Another e-mail is offering me an opportunity to refinance my
  house. Once again two things I am unaware of: Apparently I have a house
  that I have already financed once. This house must be where Amber (i hope that is her name) is. No hint of the house location was given.

  A third email describes an opportunity to get ten pairs of underwear in the colors of
  my choice. These must be for her, because I don’t wear thongs.
  Apparently my girl does – wherever she may be – and that is exciting. I
  hope she likes the color plaid.

  Finally, there is an online university offering me the chance
  to obtain a degree in seven months. It shows how far behind slower
  major institutions, such as Harvard, Princeton, and Yale are. I can do
  online for $50.00 what took four years and $160,000 to do at
  an UCLA. There are probably even discount tuition
  coupons in the local yellow pages for the online university.

  I simply mention this because I have managed in my brief return to
  LA to obtain a few girls phone numbers, and while I had fully intended
  on giving them a call, I have no desire to break up this wonderful
  relationship with Naomi (I hope that is her name) that I have managed
  to build up, especially not if she is going to take my house (i wonder
  if it is in Japan?) in the bargain.

  And a brief update on the Save A Josh Foundation…Two
  Wonderful  Amazing  people have thus far donated, and hopes
  are high that several more might…To reiterate, the foundation is more
  than happy to accept used/highlighted books for the creature as well,
  nor do they have to be purchased from Amazon.com if they can be located
  cheaper elsewhere…this list, located here is merely the resources that the Foundation believe will best help The Josh.

  -J

  • 9:48 pm
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