December 19, 2006

• Musings

  Self doubt is not a state of mind I’m intimately familiar with.

  I
  tend to run my life based on instinct, on gut and accept the
  consequences of my actions as they come (and there are many). I believe
  firmly in taking the risks, in understanding that we only get one shot
  at life and I refuse to live with regret and that there’s nothing this
  world can throw at me that I can’t handle.

  With a smirk on my face, I’ll meet it, whatever it may be.

  As
  I get older, this confidence in my abilities are only getting stronger,
  with a few notable exceptions of course, but that’s not where this
  thought process is heading today.

  What I’m trying to figure out,
  is whether this is a good thing or not, and maybe, just maybe I should
  start looking before I leap a little more. Should I let a few tendrils
  of self doubt creep in now and then? Should I assault myself with
  thoughts such as “am I doing the right thing”? Am I being selfish? Was
  saying that a mistake? Will doing this help or hurt my family? Was any
  of it real? Am I faking emotion? Can I do better? Do I have what it
  takes? Will I succeed?

  In the past, i have made three major decisions based
  solely on feeling, on what felt right. They did not all work out but I know that I couldn’t have done anything differently. My
  recklessness (which some might define as stupidity) is a big part of
  me, it defines me. It’s who I am and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  So
  that’s the topic of the day, folks. Self doubt, caution, hesitation,
  risk, opportunity. I want to hear from you, your take, your stories,
  your results. Let’s discuss.

  As for me, will I ever really look before I leap?

  Probably not, but I’ll smile.

  -J

  • 2:08 am
  • 2 Comments