January 15, 2007

  • Invulnerable

    When you study diseases and cancers and other terrible things all day long,
    you start to formulate the most invalid of hypotheses: this is pathology
    that affects     other people. I will not get cancer. I will not have
    a risk of dying. I will go on my merry way, helping my patients. I will remain
    25.

    We need to know these diseases and their symptoms and complications to help
    our patients, never us. Maybe it’s an “us versus them” mentality, or maybe it’s
    just a psychological defense mechanism, but either way, I’m constantly reading
    about some disease and thinking to myself, “Man, that would really be awful
    to get that. I feel so bad for what they must have to go through.” But
    then a moment later, the reality hits me-and it’s frightening. I’m assuming
    that these awful cancers with awful prognoses and awful survival rates and
    awful treatments will somehow skip me. I’m just as likely to develop some of
    these cancers or diseases. I don’t get a “by” just because I’m going to be a
    doctor.

    Perhaps that’s why
    doctors are more likely to smoke, drink in excess, or do recreational drugs
    than you’d expect. Less likely to get a regular checkup and physical. These
    aren’t disease that affect     all people. They affect other people

    -J