February 9, 2007

• Wangarific

  Fun Fact of the day from google: In addition to those of Rasputin, Napoleon, and John Dillinger, over 20
  famous penises are believed to have been stolen by morgue workers and
  sold on the black market.

  It takes a special kind of mind to look at a cadaver and think, ya know, i could totally sell his wang on ebay

  anyway, I was watching tv earlier, and saw a commercial for Cialis. And it was the most ridiculous thing i have ever seen. Here is someone’s most excellent description for you:

  from felisdemens:
  OH GOD GRANDPA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  Dear god. I have finally seen the most horrifying commercial ever.

  It is, of course, for Cialis. Unsurprisingly.

  Grandpa
  pops some Cialis so he can sex up Grandma. However – oh noes! – the
  whole nuclear family, with sprogs and dog, arrives unexpectedly for a
  visit. No rumpy-pumpy for you, Granny! They exchange a rueful look
  across the teeming, squalling masses of uninvited meat.

  But wait! Ciagra-Panexa-Sanhedrin works for 36 hours! (But after 4 days call a doctor. And all your friends. And CNN.)

  So
  Grandpa and Grandma merrily join the family in a day of frolicking on
  the seaside. Pushing the spawn in swings, picnicking, spray-painting
  sea turtles, shooting heroin into their eyeballs, whatever families do.
  Cause there’s always time for… oh, god, I can’t even finish that
  sentence.

  And all I can think about is that Grandpa has a GIANT CHEMICALLY INDUCED BONER THE ENTIRE TIME.

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  

  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I have no objection to Grandpa’s boner in appropriate situations, but NOT WHILE HANGING OUT WITH THE KIDS AND GRANDKIDS. WTF, is he pushing the swing with it? They forgot the scene where he playfully whips it out to test the direction of the wind before jumping into the sailboat with Rover and Daughter-In-Law, or scrapes the last of the mayo out of the jar for Son’s salami sandwich. Don’t hug anybody goodbye, Grandpa, please please pleasepleaseplease. Not without shouting “THIS IS WHAT YOU LITTLE FUCKERS GET FOR NOT CALLING FIRST!” and laying about you with your cane. Then you can demand that Granny “get her tiny hiney upstairs and get that wetsuit on before Vanilla Thunder expires!”

  -J

  • 12:24 am
  • 2 Comments