May 13, 2007

• Breaking Fast

  you know what’s ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots.

  The Trix rabbit, for example. If I were him I’d be killing some kids. I remember a commercial where the rabbit went into a store and bought a box of trix with his OWN money, and once he left the store, a bunch of kids came out of nowhere and basically mug the poor stupid rabbit, all the while taunting him, “silly rabbit, trix are for kids”. And the freakin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed. wtf???

  For that matter, what is up with the disguises. The trix rabbit has the freaking clark kent superman complex. All he does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he is just one of the kids. I don’t know about you internetland, but if I saw a 6 foot fucking RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, my first thought would not immediately be, “hey there’s a cool looking human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him.” In fact, my thoughts would probably be more along the lines of   “that’s a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap… what the FUCK was I just smoking?”

  And another stupid mascot. Lucky CHarms. The freaking leprechaun can turn the MOON into a Marshmallow, but he is always just barely escaping from a bunch of freaking 6 year olds? WHy not just turn THEM into marshmallows? “They’re after me lucky charms…” EAT THEM BITCH

  Come to think of it, what is the deal with cereal always being labeled part of this complete breakfast. Last I checked, cereal WAS breakfast. The commercials always show a big-ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a grapefruit, some orange juice, mil….who the heck eats a breakfast that big? That is why america has a problem with obesity my friends

  -J

  • 12:05 pm
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