September 14, 2007

  • Pleading the fifth

    And the award for best psych patient response ever...

    Pt: I just do what the big man tells me to do
    Dr. J: and who is that?
    Pt: God
    Dr J: so god talks to you?
    Pt: I plead the fifth

    Dr J: Do you ever see or hear things other people cant see or hear
    Pt: Yeah-music, BACH MOTHERFUCKER

    Dr J: And do you ever hear voices or see things?
    Pt: I don't see ghosts, I aint no crazy
    Dr J: and do you hear voices
    Pt: yeah...yours you dumb motherfucker

    All from the same psych patient

    In other fun procedural news, I got to Put in an NG (naso-gastric) tube into an unconscious intubated patient. And shortly after got to take an ABG on him...and although it took me a couple tries to find blood, when i finally got it in the syringe it was arterial saturation 100% I am 3/3 on abg's yo!

    Also had a patient who was not all there. I asked her how many times she had been pregnant. She begins silently counting on her fingers until all ten have been ticked off-At which point she responds-six times. I follow up with and how many children do you have? Seven.

    Took me a moment as well...one pregnancy was twins

    Finally, I had to reference future dr julie's progress notes, one of the med blogs i follow, for this excellent summary of the third year experience

    "being a third year med student is kind of like having erectile
    dysfunction: you're perfectly aware of your surroundings, and you
    really want to do something... but you just... can't. Everything that
    happens around you is because the MD's
    with their mighty pens can sign order forms, and even if you do all the
    work ahead of time (writing orders, verifying doses), when the moment
    matters, your pen is just not pen they want"

    Lucid TV 50

Comments (5)

  • That is hella funny.  I guess you can't really get offended when it comes to psych patients.  What a trip they are!

  • Random Prop: Was that really the conversation happened between you and your patient?hahah its funny

  • ha ha ha ha ha!  I love the conversations you have with patients

  • :)

  • Well I would have said Bizet (instead of Bach)...but that's just me. When I was in a car accident I kept getting asked my name, my address, my phone number. I couldn't understand why all these questions were being asked. I was in pain. Later on, I was told that what they really wanted to know was if I was at all there. I was.

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