January 17, 2008

• Got me going so crazy right now

  Couple of interesting patient encounters today

  Almost Dr J: So what do you like to do?
  Patient: I like to burn people
  Almost Dr J: beg your pardon?
  Patient: I like to burn people and decapitate them
  Almost Dr J: and have you ever done this?
  Patient: no. I burned some leaves once though
  Almost Dr J: So if you were to get out of the hospital, do you think you would go burn someone
  Patient: No, I couldnt do that. I mean i thought about it, but i wouldnt. I would probably just watch someone else

  allrighty then.

  And
  Mr K was not having a good day. Before even beginning the patient
  interview, he insisted on finding out if i was a patriot or not

  Almost Dr J (ADJ): Morning Mr K, would you care to talk with me this morning
  Mr. K: Where are you from
  ADJ: The United states
  Mr K: I'm the president of the united states until that bush fucker tried to take my job for 427 days.
  ADJ: Alright, well lets go talk
  Mr
  K: so if there was a war with another country and you had to go there
  and fight them and kill their babies to protect ourselves you would do
  it
  ADJ: yes?
  Mr K: okay, lets go talk.

  Mr K had a lot of
  disorganized thoughts and losse associations today. Loos associations
  are when the doctor asks a questions and the patient offers a non
  sequitur as an answer.

  ADJ: How is your mood today?
  Mr K: blah
  ADJ: why is that
  Mr K: what happened to my babies maybies scabies rabies jaybies

  That
  is an example of both loose associations, and clang associations, where
  the pt goes off on rhyming tangents. Mr K was also much more paranoid
  this morning than usual and insisted that i was putting something into
  his water. Which did not stop him from asking me for several cups of
  water, just that he didnt trust me. Overall the patient's mood was
  hostile and paranoid except for one memorable interchange

  Mr K: you wont even give me coffee to help to me move my bowels? what kind of doctor are you?
  ADJ: not a very good one i am afraid
  Mr K: no you are not

  I couldnt help laughing

  Next
  was Mr R. Now Mr R and I dont have a relationship, but the first day on
  the ward he took one look at me and said, "hey my brother you are
  jewish aren't you? shalom shalom" And ever since when he sees me on the
  wards he always shouts across the hallway "Hey Dr Jerusalem!" and I
  wave back

  This has been a, pardon the pun, "carazy day". While
  in the common room looking for one of my patients, another patient in a
  bright orange hat, blue sweathsitrt, headphones and wheelchair rolls up
  by me and whispers...pssst. hey doc...got any methadone?

  Too which i could only reply...sorry my friend, fresh out. He rolled away quite dejected

  This is a bit more like what i was hoping psychiatry would be like. Still dont want to go into it, but at least I am having fun

  • 5:16 pm
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