April 20, 2008
-
Forbidden Kingdom
Forbidden Kingom FTW!
Jet Li and Jackie Chan together was on par with freddy versus Jason, or Alien versus Predator. Two larger than life icons, and the fight is so entertaining you dont care who wins. Watching this movie was like christmas, halloween, and your birthday all rolled up into one, condensed , liquified, placed in a gel cap and shoved directly into your eyeballs. Nothing beat it, and nothing ever will
The movie starts off with chinese people flying through the air for no apparent reason, because that is what chinese people do in their spare time. No really. I have been to china, and businessmen get tired of waiting for the bus and take to the skies. True Story.
Soon after, random white kid wakes up. turns out he has been having these strange dreams for the last couple weeks about this sort of stuff. It could be foreshadowing, or it could be the fact that he goes on to be introduced as a chinese movie fanboy who is all buddy buddy with the old chinese pawn shop owner down the street. The pawn shop owner who has a mysterious back room for storage filled with the same weapon that has been in the kids dream. What an amazing coincidence. Turns out generations of pawn shop owners in this family have been tasked with holding onto the staff until someone shows up to take it to its rightful owner. Kid says…golly gee willikers thats neat, now i will take my daily dose of dvds and be on my merry way
While going home, Kid is attacked by what appears to be the cast of grease, or possibly west side story. They rough him up a little and then decide to rob the pawn shop owner, mostly because he exists. Of course during the robbery, the old man gets shot and Kid escapes with the mysterious staff from the back room where he is chased by the Jets gang until the staff takes hold of him and throws him off a building
Kid comes too in rural china. Where everyone is speaking chinese to him. Like watching chris farley in the japanese game show skit. Kid handles it remarkably well, and works his way into the local town with the help of Jackie Chan, who by speaking loud and slow, manages to teach Kid to understand mandarin in about 2 seconds. Or every chinese person Kid meets from this point on in the movie speaks english so Kid can understand what is going on, its not really made clear
Along the way we find out Kid is a prophecied one who is supposed to return to the Monkey King his magical staff that made him unbeatable. Oh except it is only a magical staff for the monkey kind. Not for the kid, who knows no kung fu at all. Along the way he meets friends to help him on his quest…girl who refers to herself in the third person throughout the whole movie, and jet li, who has a matrix style fight with jackie chan.
Cmon, Jackie, stop trying to hit me and HIT ME!
you think thats air your breathing right now? hmmm.
Hijinks ensue, with plot holes in the movie so large you can see other plotholes through them. To avoid spoiling the film, I shant say anymore than this was another one of the movies that was so over the top, you couldnt help but be entertained.
Suffice to say, go see this movie.
Post a Comment
Leave a Reply
Why Not Zoidberg
Comments (3)
mmm… yeah… that movie was intensely ridiculous. wth was the third person thing about anyway? i was like “errr…” the entire time. but i did find it entertaining.
and i loved how they included clips from the TV drama about the monkey king (which i watched as a child). in case you missed it, when the kid wakes up from his dream, it’s playing on the TV set. it made the movie THAT much better. haha. yay!
…and back to that-which-must-not-be-named.
Oh, I will try to send you those recipes soon, I have been busy as heck! Sorrieee…
Go see it?! You just told us the whole story!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s more exciting when you give a good rating but keep the details (i.e. the element of surprise?) =]