July 24, 2008

• I wanted to be a…

  Anyone who knows me knows my corny sense of humor…so i now invite you all to partake and see how long we can make the following lists (mostly because i need some new one liners )

  I wanted to be a banker, but i kept losing interest…
  I wanted to be a doctor, but i didnt have the patients
  I wanted to be a baker, but i couldnt raise the dough
  I wanted to be a lumberjack, but i couldnt cut it.
  I wanted to be a carpet layer, but i wasnt rugged enough
  I wanted to be a poolman, but the work was just too draining
  I wanted to be a fortune teller, but i couldnt see a future in it

  Update:
  I tried looking for gold, but it didn’t pan out.
  I tried to make the plump ladies see the error of their weighs.
  I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded
  I used to be a blackjack host, but was offered a better deal.
  I used to work for Budweiser, but then I got canned.
  I used to be a butler, but found the work wasn’t my cup of tea.
  I used to work for H&R Block, but it was just too taxing.
  I used to be a hotel clerk, but then I had reservations.
  I used to be a nun, but I got expelled because of my dirty habits.
  I used to be a marathon runner, but couldn’t stand the agony of de feet.
  I used to work at an orange juice factory, but I couldn’t concentrate.
  I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
  I used to sell computer parts, but then I lost my drive.
  I used to be a shoe salesman, till they gave me the boot.
  I used to work at Starbucks, but I got tired of the daily grind.
  I used to be a tailor, but found the work to be just so-so.
  I used to be an IT technician, but found I couldn’t hack it.
  I used to be a teacher, but found I didn’t have enough class.
  I used to be a tennis instructor, but it just wasn’t my racket.
  I used to be a train driver but I got sidetracked.
  I used to be a transplant surgeon, but my heart just wasn’t in it.
  I used to be a Velcro salesman, but couldn’t stick with it.
  I considered going into the ministry but I didn’t have an altar ego.
  I wanted to be a stenographer, but they told me they are not short-handed at the moment.
  I used to work in a potato form, but then i got the sack
  I used to be a masseuse but i kept rubbing people the wrong way
  I used to be a musician, but i just wasnt noteworthy

  or add to this list…

  Lets make like a baby, and head out
  make like a librarian, and book it
  make like a plane and jet
  make like a skeleton and bone out
  make like a sheperd, and get the flock out of here

  or this one:

  call me bus driver, because i am taking you all to school
  call me the warden, cuz i got this locked up
  call me the mailman, cuz i always deliver

  Cmon, folks, give me your best shot!

  • 2:17 pm
  • 5 Comments