October 28, 2008

• Ruminations

  My friend snowbird recently had car trouble. As in she was driving along, minding her own business, when all of a sudden smoke started coming out of her car, and her check engine light came on. Well that could only mean one thing obviously…there was a ninja hiding in her car who needed to make a quick getaway. Unfortunately he flipped out killed a bunch of stuff in her car. Cause ninjas do that.

  I started to make the comment to her and then stopped myself. Because it has been my experience that most of the witty “oh you broke your car” commentary comes from people who drive wussy pissant cars like saturns or hondas (me). Whereas my motorcycle or porshce owning friends are more like “ha ha that’s nothing, you should have seen the time I had to replace not only my engine, but my LEFT LEG!”

  Some other random thoughts today I jotted down while my brain was melting from studying…

  Who the hell came up with the phrase “more fun than a barrel of monkeys?” At what point in human history were we storing monkeys in barrels? And why multiple monkeys in a barrel? As close as I can determine -One monkey arouses a great deal of amusement. Two or more then double the…amusement. If one were to release a barrelful, we must suppose that their antics would become hilariously comical

  I find the idea of midget zombies to be particularly terrifying. I would rather have my brains than my knees eaten, that would just be creepy.

  What if Macgyver was in the saw movies. “Hello Angus, all your life you have eschewed brawns over brain, and in your path left hundreds of…wait a second did you just turn break out of my deathtrap using a swiss army knife and some duct tape?” “Yep” “shit.”

  For the first time in 5 years, i will be returning to West Hollywood for Halloween to party. Anyone who wants to meet up, leave a comment

  • 2:25 am
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