November 3, 2011

• Tomato Fight Aftermath

  Okay, time for me to come clean about the tomato fight…pun intended.

  Oh dont worry loyal readers, it actually happened. you have the pics to prove it. However the fallout from said tomato fight is that tomato juice got into and subsequently ruined and or otherwise rendered ineffective everything i was wearing. My shirt, sandals, shorts, cell phone, and car keys, or specifically the car alarm disarming key.

   

  So to recount briefly…being covered in stinky tomato pulp with 2 friends, I had previously covered my car seats in towels, and now divested myself of my clothing down to my boxers. I sent Ward to unlock the car while I washed off what tomato I could. Remember when I said the car alarm disarming key was permanently disarmed? Yes, well that meant the moment i turned on my car the alarm began honking with no way to disarm it.

   

  all. the. way. home.

   

  So somewhere in between pomona and los angeles, with the car alarm blaring, i was pulled over by the police, who suspected the vehicle might be stolen. As the cop walked up to the window, he never had his hand off his gun. Why?

  because as I rolled the window down, he was assaulted by the smell of something rotten, and confronted by three people covered in a mysterious dried red substance, sitting on towels, giggling like maniacs and in various states of undress.

   

  Dr J: I was in a tomato fight officer! 

  Officer: a what?

  Dr J: A tomato fight! thats why we are all in red. also, the smell.

  Officer: licence and registration sir.

  Dr J: okay, but i have to get my wallet out of the trunk

  Officer: why is your wallet in the trunk?

  Dr J: thats where my pants are

  Officer: why are your pants in the trunk?

  Dr J: because thats where we dumped all our stuff after the fight

  Officer what fight

  Dr J: the tomato fight!

  Officer: step out of the car sir

   

  So clad in nothing but my batman boxers, i stepped out and around my car with the officer at a safe distance the whole time, popped the trunk obtained my wallet and license and handed it to him. Once he satisfied himself that everything was legit, he fired off a few just in case questions

  Officer: you folks been drinking?

  Dr J: surprisingly, no.

  Officer: no drugs, no immigrants, no dead bodies (he was being humorous or very worried here)

  Dr J: you saw the trunk officer, would you like a closer look in the garbage bag?

  Officer (remembering the smell) um, carry on 

   

  And off he went, with the winning bizarre story for his precint for that day

  • 5:14 pm
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