November 30, 2011
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Brand Names
I wish this comic was less true. But for many families, being involved doesnt mean weighing the options and heeding the advice our education has given us, but dictating care according to what they think the patient wants or needs.
I find myself dreading my upcoming wards month…I dont want any difficult families. I cant afford to have anyone evaluate me as anything less than perfect. The human body was not meant to undergo these levels of stress for this long. And yet, here I am still plugging away, still hoping against hope that despite all evidence to the contrary, something, anything, will turn out right. I guess that is the difference between hope and faith…with faith, you dont have this kind of anguish, you simply know. With hope, you keep waiting for something to be snatched away.
I dont know why I keep recording this whole episode. Is it for you, or for me? If I make it through this, is it something I really want to remember? Will I one day look back on these posts and tell myself, oh right medicine isnt always easy, but you have been here before…or will I reread this and be like, this was your tipping point, when you had all you could stand and left a career that was doing nothing but breaking your spirit
I dont want to know the future, I just wish I didnt have to keep anticipating it.
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Why Not Zoidberg
Comments (2)
this may seem trite but i mean this sincerely: let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. galations 6:9 this crisis means something important for your life, and that’s why you are going through it. there is an end to this valley.
Perhaps it is the anticipating that is the basis of your stress. I know this is an old axion –One Day At A Time – but it does really work. Stay in the present as that is where we really are. Live the present to the fullest. Tomorrow never comes and yesterday is gone. Remember the other old axiom in a prayer form.
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change . . . the Courage to change the things I can . . . and the Wisdon to know the difference.