August 17, 2012

• Page Me Maybe

  You Knew this was bound to happen between the late nights and high stress of night float, right?

  I present the Night Float  version of Carley Rae Jepsen’s Call me Maybe

  If you are really lucky, I will make a music video version

   

  [verse 1]

  you were admitted last night

  gave your family quite a fright

  with those low electrolytes

  oh yeah and by the way

   

  chest pain and shortness of breath

  coughing up blood right and left

  looks like you’re approaching death

  it’s time to save the day

   

  bp aint holdin’

  get those pressors flowin’

  add some vanc and zosyn

  oh my god he’s coding baby

   

  [chorus]

  hey I just met you

  and this is crazy

  but i’m MOD

  so page me maybe?

   

  you’re feeling weak now

  and you’re eighty

  need blood transfusions

  so page me maybe

   

  hey, i got signout

  that you are crazy

  here’s some ativan

  so page me maybe

   

  there are no other docs

  that dont phase me

  I’m the MOD

  so page me maybe

   

  [Verse 2]

  you took your time with the call

  patient in 3 had a fall

  now she’s not speaking at all

  let’s get a head ct

   

  that guy with the DKA

  he hasnt eaten all day

  he’s signing out AMA

  oh well less work for me

   

  your heart rate’s slowin’

  get that o2 flowin’

  it’s another code and

  guess i wont be sleeping baby

   

  [chorus]

  hey I just met you

  and this is crazy

  but i’m MOD

  so page me maybe?

   

  low urine output

  place a foley

  surgical patient?

  then call SOD

   

  hey, when i met you

  you looked plaguey

  place a ppd

  then page me maybe?

   

  there are no other docs

  that dont phase me

  I’m the MOD

  so page me maybe?

   

  Before you exit from this life,

  fill out this polst form

  change your code status

  sign here on this polst form

   

  Before you exit from this life

  change your code status

  you’ll be the gladdest

  dnr status

   

  [chorus]

  you just don’t look right

  sepsis lady

  you need central lines

  so page me maybe

   

  hey I just met you

  and this is crazy

  but i’m MOD

  so page me maybe?

   

  there are no other docs

  that dont phase me

  I’m the MOD

  so page me maybe?

  • 6:12 am
  • 3 Comments