August 26, 2012

• Second chances

  Tomorrow is a big day. A big day that I’ve already had. Tomorrow I reinterview for the gi fellowship position. A position that I worked my behind off to reach, then had snatched from me at the last second. In an email from my recent ex-gf, she wished me the best of luck, and reminded me that not everyone gets a second chance in life. It’s hard to say whether she was referring to the interview or perhaps hinting at something else.

  There are few things as exciting as a comeback – seeing someone with dreams, watching them fail, and then getting a second chance. In some ways, it’s more meaningful to the recipient than if they had gotten what they wanted the first time around. Not to brush off the hard work that the first timers have put in, but who do you think appreciates the gold medal more…the person who won’t on their first try, or the one who placed silver the year before

  It has recently come to my attention that throughout my life, I have never really had to fight for anything. Never have I been refused, rejected, or turned away in any meaningful way. This is not to say I have not worked for or earned what I have. Quite the opposite. Instead, I have seen something I wanted, and with the decision that I wanted it, it has become mine. Failing was never even a remote possibility. This has applied to everything from academics, to games, even relationships. I have been fortunate to lead a truly blessed life.

  The downside to this of course is that I never until recently had the chance to learn what I am made of, the opportunity to see what kind of man I am. Never having to fight for what I believed in, I ended up never really believing in anything.

  Well, this past year has presented me with opportunity after opportunity to overcome adversity. Some battles I have won. Once again I am being offered a chance at fellowship, selected from the thousands who applied across the country. A second chance to work where had my life gone a different direction, I would have been right now.

  As for the ex, I don’t know how that battle will turn out yet. The wound is still too fresh. It’s impossible to say if I made the right decision for the wrong reasons or not. All I know is that should a second chance arise one day, I will know exactly what I have decided to fight for in a way that I never could have if things had worked out now.

  Until then, all I can do is keep preparing for my comeback and learning about myself

  • 9:39 pm
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