Taken in its entirety from @suuperstar, because i needed to see it today and will need to look back at it again in the future

“Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend. What’s meant to be will end up good, and what’s not, won’t. 

Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than what they were willing to give you. 

Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and don’t lose something real. 

Always fight, until you can’t fight anymore, and then be fought for.” 

Still having problems at work. more to come on that later, when i can motivate myself to setting something about it down. It sucks not being able to trust your own department

Things you can say at Thanksgiving and get away with!
 
1- Talk about a huge breast
2- Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist
3- its cool whip time!
4- If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!
5- Whew, that’s one terrific spread
6- I’m in the mood for a little dark meat
7- Are you ready for seconds yet?
8- Its just a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9- Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!
10- Don’t play with your meat
11- Just spread the legs open and stuff it
12- Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?
13-I didn’t expect everyone to come at once
14- You still have a little bit on your chin!
15- You’ll know its ready when it pops up
16- How long will it take after you stick it in?
17- Wow- I didn’t think I could handle all that
18- That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen
19- How long do I beat it before its ready?

Okay, time for me to come clean about the tomato fight…pun intended.

Oh dont worry loyal readers, it actually happened. you have the pics to prove it. However the fallout from said tomato fight is that tomato juice got into and subsequently ruined and or otherwise rendered ineffective everything i was wearing. My shirt, sandals, shorts, cell phone, and car keys, or specifically the car alarm disarming key.

So to recount briefly…being covered in stinky tomato pulp with 2 friends, I had previously covered my car seats in towels, and now divested myself of my clothing down to my boxers. I sent Ward to unlock the car while I washed off what tomato I could. Remember when I said the car alarm disarming key was permanently disarmed? Yes, well that meant the moment i turned on my car the alarm began honking with no way to disarm it.

all. the. way. home.

So somewhere in between pomona and los angeles, with the car alarm blaring, i was pulled over by the police, who suspected the vehicle might be stolen. As the cop walked up to the window, he never had his hand off his gun. Why?

because as I rolled the window down, he was assaulted by the smell of something rotten, and confronted by three people covered in a mysterious dried red substance, sitting on towels, giggling like maniacs and in various states of undress.

Dr J: I was in a tomato fight officer! 

Officer: a what?

Dr J: A tomato fight! thats why we are all in red. also, the smell.

Officer: licence and registration sir.

Dr J: okay, but i have to get my wallet out of the trunk

Officer: why is your wallet in the trunk?

Dr J: thats where my pants are

Officer: why are your pants in the trunk?

Dr J: because thats where we dumped all our stuff after the fight

Officer what fight

Dr J: the tomato fight!

Officer: step out of the car sir

So clad in nothing but my batman boxers, i stepped out and around my car with the officer at a safe distance the whole time, popped the trunk obtained my wallet and license and handed it to him. Once he satisfied himself that everything was legit, he fired off a few just in case questions

Officer: you folks been drinking?

Dr J: surprisingly, no.

Officer: no drugs, no immigrants, no dead bodies (he was being humorous or very worried here)

Dr J: you saw the trunk officer, would you like a closer look in the garbage bag?

Officer (remembering the smell) um, carry on 

And off he went, with the winning bizarre story for his precint for that day

Okay, enough maudlin whining crap for now. This weekend, I participated in a massive produce battle. I received an email from thrillist offering a discount on a tomato battle. This is what $25 bought me for the day:

I have not taken a lot of time for myself lately. It seems like i have constantly been pushed or pulled in some direction at somebody’s behest, be it work, or my girlfriend, my mother, or a friend in need. I dont begrudge any of these obligations, though I do think they have contributed in some way to my current funk (quick! somebody bring in da noise!) mostly because everything I try to do for somebody seems to disappoint them.

I am a talker. This doesnt mean I dont or wont act, just that I find words to have a lot of power, and believe that ever situation has a right thing (and conversely, a wrong thing) that can be said. Words of comfort, words of care, words expressing intent or goals, but overall words. I like to hear somebody ask for help or advice, or have someone tell me they love me, or appreciate what I have done. I would go so far as to say that any blogger shares a similar attitude with me to a degree…after all, if we didnt believe in the power of words, why bother to set them down for others who come after us?

My girlfriend, much as I love her, places much more emphasis on the importance of actions. Words are just a fancy way of not doing anything to her. Should she have a bad day, she doesnt want someone to talk with her about it, she wants them to intuitively recognize that she is upset, then take her out to do something, regardless of moping until she cheers up. Similarly, there is never a expressed desire for me to come over or spend time with her…just the assumption that if I want to, I will. This has caused me no small degree of difficulty in our actions. Neither way is right or wrong, but the viewpoints and philosophies on life that accompany the two have led to many misunderstandings and upsets.

At work, I remain under the microscope, held to a different standard than my coresidents, every mistake magnified, every good or appropriate action minimized, ignored or taken for granted. Because of preconceived attitudes from earlier interactions with the hospitalists, this unpleasant existence will be my de facto reality for the remaining 6 months of my residency until such time as I can pack up and return to Chicago. 

At home, I recently observed the 7th anniversary of my fathers death, which took place while I was away in med school during finals week…I have previously commented on it here, here, and here for those of you were not following me at the time.

Becuase of all these various things going on in my life, I have given up, or at least let fall by the wayside all the things I used to do…rock climbing, model building, crosswords, reading, performing comedy, even blogging, and how much time does it really take to sit down in front of a computer and write a few sentences? I have grown, I have matured, but I am not sure that I like who I have become…there are days I miss just being me, and I need to find some way to recapture that before all this outside world crap overwhelms me.

Those of you who have been commenting along, thanks. Though we may be virtual strangers, I do see your comments and it is nice to know that real people exist out there with invisible ears for me to bend. We all have our own dramas, I am just hoping that I can return to being a sitcom sooner rather than later, and maybe these words can help ground me until I can do just that.

Dr J out.

Many moons ago, in a far off place, I used to participate in theater in my highschool.

Prior to every performance, the whole cast would get together under the direction of our theater teacher, Mr. G, and form an “energy circle” to psych ourselves up for the performance and work on a number of tongue twisters for enunciation and projection. For some reason, these were running through my head nonstop yesterday, so I thought i would share them before the part of my brain that remembers such things shuts down. So for this post, I am taking you back to the old school, cuz i’m an old fool who’s so cool

Oh what to do to die today at a minute or two ’til two 
A thing distinctly hard to say yet harder still to do 
For they’ll beat a tattoo at twenty to two 
With a rattatta tattatta tattatta too 
And the dragon will come when he hears the drum 
At a minute or two ’til two today 
At a minute or two ’til two

One black beetle bled only black blood, the other black beetle bled blue (repeat ad infinitum)

A Cup of proper coffee in a copper coffee cup

The sixth sitting sheet slitter’s sick. His son sammy’s subbing until the sick sixth sitting sheet slitter is back sitting pretty

Spent 2 hours admitting a septic patient, trying to stabilize their rapidly failing heart rate, respiratory function and overall multiple complications in someone who was DNR

30 minutes after completing the admission, I am called down to pronounce the same patient.

Dammit.

Mr. Biochem: “What did my labs show?”

Dr. J: “Well, your homocysteine level was high, and…”

Mr. Biochem: “That’s impossible! I’m not gay!

Dr J: …

Overnight, one of my patients went encephalopathic.

When you have liver disease, you dont break down certain metabolites as well as a normal person, and toxins like ammonia build up in your body. These can get carried through your bloodstream into your brain and make you act crazy and irrational. Liver patients, or rather patients with liver disease can decompensate quickly and for a variety of reasons.

So.

One of my patients became encephalopathic and during the night when nursing staff wasnt watching, slipped out of her room, walked clear across the hospital and climbed into bed with another patient. When he awoke, he was understandably disturbed at the stranger in his bed. He was even more disturbed when she promptly shat upon his sheets, got up and returned to her room.

And that is why you always read nursing notes.