Hello and Welcome all my xanga friends, internet stalkers, and random people who googled/stumbled upon something that led you here. I realize I have been gone for nigh on an eternity via internets time, and this is the first of myriad posts filling you in on just where in the world I have been during that time.

What you are about to embark upon is none other than the tale of an epic journey undertaken to the middle east, the holy land, the place of sun and scouring sands, wherein the grail is hidden, the stargate buried, and the mummy returned. Some of the things you might see in these posts will shock you, some might amuse you, and some might just change the way you see the world (I like to aim high). With that in mind, I invite you to put on your sunscreen, grab your desert gear and join me, Indiana Josh and my trusty sidekick Short Round as we set forth on THE ROAD TO JORDAN

Day one begins in the bustling hubbub of Cairo, 6th largest city in the world, capital of Egypt, and home to the last standing ancient wonder of the world, which shortly will be revealed. But first, let’s once again meet the perpetrators of this pilgrimage of pain, peril and panache, Indiana Josh and Short Round

Some of you may remember short round from the Thailand: Bangkok Dangerous adventure…if not, you will see plenty more of him in the posts to come. Some folks bring along stuffed animals or good luck charms on their trips…I bring sidekicks, an essential component of all hero-ing.

So we begin with perhaps one of the quintessential, nay, archetypal sites of Egypt


The Great Pyramids of Giza, the only one of the 7 ancient wonders of the world still remaining today (bonus adventure points if you can name the 6 lost to the sands of time)

Turns out that contrary to popular belief the great pyramids were not built by slaves at all. No the egyptians viewed their leaders as gods, and to assist in building the house of a god was an event to be remembered to your grandchildren. Slaves would be allowed nowhere near these sacred grounds.

Nor would most tourists. To climb the pyramids outside the steps to go into designated areas is to invite a 6 month jail stay minimum

So of course you know where this was taken.

Luckily I can always rely on short round to pull my bacon out of the frying pan when the tourist police draw near. Or the hand of god himself

Okay, while i will probably reference God a lot on this trip (it IS the holy land) I urge you to recall that God helps those who help themselves. So the finger of God?

really the finger of The Josh



still, it’s not hard to see how this is considered a wonder of the world. To look upon such scale and splendor and realize it was all done by the hands of man, and without the use of modern technology, no less…Truly wondrous.

That moment of silence aside, on with the tour!

Oh…erm…not that tour though. That group was never seen again.

The big hole in the middle was from some governmental type looking for the entrance, but the granite casing at the bottom is a restoration of the original. You see, the pyramids used to be smooth all over, but time has worn them down

hey, lets see how you look after several thousand years.



How marvelous the sphinx! A little smaller in real life than you would think, mostly due to scale comparisons with the pyramids, but still. How noble! How majestic!

WET WILLY!

sacred monument defaced I make a nonchalant escape walking like an egyptian

as you can tell, I blend in with the locals almost instantly, and short round tags along as we explore further…

no stargate in Giza, but dont let such early defeats get to me…I will find it.

Now lets learn to make paper the way the ancients did…with papyrus




Boy that worked up an appetite.

this is the most daring thing I ate the whole trip. It is called khoshari, and its the egyptian mac and cheese…instead they use tomato sauce and spices instead of cheese, and pasta and rice instead of mac. good stuff.

Well thats all for the moment…tune in next post when I journey onward to the step pyramid of Saqqara

p.s. If you have been tagged, its cause I thought you would enjoy this and I know you might have forgotten me after not posting for a while…just message me and I will remove you from any future tagging.

I am 28 years old today!

Another year has passed on by
Another year i didnt die
Another year around the sun
Another year of having fun
Another year, make no mistake
Another-screw this, time for cake!

I have a birthday today. I love my birthday. It is a defiant little holiday: HA HA HA I AM HERE. TAKE THAT, SUCKERS.

 It would be cool if you grew every single year on your birthday. Or maybe people should start to shrink at a certain point in their lives instead, and get gradually smaller and smaller until death. Then you could keep Grandma in a jar (dont forget to poke some holes in the lid!) and when she disappeared, you would know that she had died. Solves the nursing home issue but the potential for elder abuse goes way up. Hmmm.

With the traditional part of the post out of the way, I should also probably mention that I am in fact future posting this, as I will be spending my actual birthday exploring the sphix, looking for the stargate under the giza pyramids, and making zombie noises at other tourists in the necropolis…maybe even reading from the book of the dead, who knows?

As you read this, I am dressed like Indiana Jones, complete with fedora, satchel, leather jacket, and whip if it made it through airport security.

Hope everyone in xangaland is doing well, I will resume posting and catching up with everyone when I return in a month

For more of my adventures, go watch Indiana Jones and the raiders of the lost ark, the last crusade, lawrence of arabia, the mummy, the mummy returns, or stargate