The End of An Era
5 years. That's a long time. In 5 years, people grow old, people grow up, people die, people move, people think, people do, people don't, but most importantly, people ARE. I am not the same person I was when I chose to enroll in UCLA 5 years ago, and yet I am. Each year of my college experience has been rife with, well, experience, and who I am at the end of every year is a different person, a better person, or at least I like to think so.
I have had almost every experience traditionally associated with college. I have lived in the dorms, in the apartments, commuted. I have been to frat parties, house parties, thrown parties. I have drank, smoked, dated, studied, skipped class, written papers, stressed for tests, passed them, and failed them. I have worked for money, for fun, occasionally for necessity. I have fallen in love and had my heart broken. I have played sports, watched games, and even just lazed about because I could. I have learned to cook, clean, do laundry, budget my time and waste my time. Each and every thing I have done in college has taught me something about myself or others. So what have I really learned?
First year, I lived in Hitch Suites. I learned the importance of having to simply react to new situations, how to be responsible on my own. I chose not to live with anyone I knew from highschool, and that was certainly one of my best decisions. My roomates were people I was fortunate to get along with and still maintain friendships with now, although when first we met, there was no way to tell. I have learned the value of honor and friendship from what may have seemed the least likely of sources, when a girl dumped me to ask out my roomate. I have learned the value of hygiene from a roomate who still may not know it. I learned what i thought studying in high school wasn't, and that I was nowhere near as smart as I thought myself. I tried alcohol, I tried narcotics. I liked narcotics better, but that I didn't need them to have a good time. I learned about the wonders of Napster, AIM, and e-mail. And most importantly I learned that once you have left home, even to live in the dorms, you can never really go back
Second Year, I returned to the suites and learned that keeping in touch really does make a difference for maintaining friendships, even if it is just the occasional call or e-mail. I learned time and time again that I know absolutely nothing about women, nor can I hope to. I learned that it is easier to propagate mischief in groups, especially when stealing a table from a dining hall, and teamwork is a valuable skill in many a situation. I learned that just because you disagree with someone doesn't mean you can't respect them, and just because you agree with someone doesn't mean they are worthy of your respect either. I learned about performing improvisational comedy, and that I had a talent, at least in my own head for writing song parodies. I joined a hospital internship that would affirm my commitment to medicine, one in which I would remain for 3 years, and learn about leadership. And I learned that sometimes, roomates who are good friends can be too distracting to live with when you have to crack down and study.
Third Year, I learned about paying bills on time, and getting along with people you cant stand and cant avoid. I learned that random visits and spontaneity are not things many people have or expect. I learned sometimes, a friend is someone who knows when to just shut up. I learned the pain of betrayal firstand, and found ways to work through it. I found a martial art I enjoyed, and with it, discipline I thought I had lacked. I learned how to force myself to sit down and study, even when I would rather be doing otherwise. I learned the feeling of accomplishment that comes of depriving yourself of something in exchange for a goal. And, I learned Japanese, my third language.
Fourth year, I learned about reconnecting with old friends, and the value of patience. I learned that timing is everything, and it's all in the delivery. I learned I had both the courage and ability to do stand up comedy, and I learned about being assertive and networking when I began a job as an intern at my eye doctors, one that turned into paid employement that would last two years. I learned that if you keep your friends close, and your enemies closer,sometimes it becomes difficult to tell which is which. and I learned that it is always better to be done early than to procrastinate, but both require willpower to maintain
Fifth Year, I learned how to deal with failure on a personal level. I learned that the lenght of time you know someone has no bearing on how good a friend they can become, that you can't do everything for everyone, nor should you. I learned that I have learned more about myself in the last 5 years than I ever would have thought possible, and that i can't even begin to set it all down in words, because memories are not words, but images thoughts and feelings, and the exact circumstances are not as important as what they make you.
5 years ago, I came to UCLA a wide eyed, slightly cynical freshman with a sense of humor and a spirit ready to take on the world. On saturday june 19th, when I graduate with a b.s. in psychobio, and a minor in japanese, I will walk away more knowledgeble in heart, mind, and soul, still a cynic at times, but an optimist at others, ready not to take on the world, but work with it, and with my sense of humor still intact.
Who Am I? I am a capoeirista, a skydiver, a comic, a speaker of japanese and spanish, a care extender, a leader, a follower, a writer, a speaker, a listener, a brother, a son, a friend, a traveler. I have learned that everything I consider my identity is merely an amalgation of experience, that all I am is defined by my relationships with others, and that even so, I remain unique.
On Saturday, I will walk out of UCLA head held high, secure in myself and my abilites, and ready to move on to the next stage of my life wherever it may be. I will leave with no regrets, nothing I would change good or bad, for to do so would eliminate who I have become and who I will be. I will leave the campus as a student, but a part of me will remain in the ghost light, always present, never seen, perhaps a memory of studying in powel, eating at ackerman, sleeping in the sculpture garden, or working out at wooden. Fred savage and the wonder years have nothing on me, because my life will never be forced into syndication.
Who am I?
I am Joshua Scott Dworetzky
UCLA, I thank you
and I bid you goodbye.
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