Rate your internet geekery by how many of these you can recognize. As a general service to those of you who didnt waste your formative years , I’ve tracked down all the references
in the video and listed them here in chronological order along with links
to their source materials. Enjoy catching up on what i have done with my life since entering undergrad

1. Dramatic Prairie Dog
2. South Park – The Spirit of Christmas
3. Star Wars Kid
4. Numa Numa Kid
5. Back Dorm Boys
6. Napster Bad
7. Winnebago Salesman Gets Mad
8. Evil Bert
9. Goatse (link to Wikipedia for obvious reasons)
   
10. JibJab’s This Land
11. GI Joe PSAs
12. You’re the Man Now Dog
13. Spongemonkies Like the Moon^*
14. Andy Milonakis Sings the Super Bowl is Gay^*
15. Ask a Ninja
16. Average Homeboy Denny Blaze^*
17. LonelyGirl15
18. House of Cosbys
19. Chad Vader
20. ZeFrank
21. Lazy Sunday Rap
22. Kid from Brooklyn
23. Bubb Rubb
24. George Lucas in Love
25. Racist Kramer
26. MySpace the Movie
27. Chuck Norris Facts
28. Geriatric192
29. Mahir (I Kiss You)
30. Stanley Kubrick Audition
31. Leroy Jenkins
32. Homestar Runner
33. Grape Stomping Fall
34. Paris Hilton Sex Tape
    
35. All Your Base Are Belong To Us
36. Diet Coke and Mentos
37. OK Go – Here It Goes Again
38. Shine (The Shining trailer remix)
39. Sneezing Panda
40. Dick in a Box
41. Rocketboom
42. Yacht Rock
    
43. Snakes on a Plane
44. Angry German Kid
45. Otters Holding Hands
46. Dax Flame
47. Bride Cuts Off Hair
48. Colbert’s National Correspondents Dinner
49. Little Superstar
50. Lightning Bolt
51. Kelly Shopping for Shoes^*
52. Tom Cruise on Oprah
53. White and Nerdy
54. Kevin Federline’s Popozao Interview
55. Washington Washington^*
56. Ashlee Simpson Lipsynch
57. Boom Goes the Dynamite
58. Lily Tomlin Swearing from I Heart Huckabees
59. Peanut Butter Jelly Time
60. Christmas Lights
61. Captain Kirk sings Rocket Man
62. Evolution of Dance
63. People Getting Hurt (general)
64. Talking to Webcam (general)
65. Chocolate Rain
66. I Like Turtles

I love how this is basically the “end credits” for the internet. it’s
nostalgic and makes me laugh. now if the internet is ever destroyed, they can just play this video whenever anyone tries to
access it. “sorry everyone! the internet is over! you had your chance!

Here are some others you should probably see, but are not included in the song
 1. End of Ze World
 2. kung fu stick figures
 3.tokyo breakfast
 4.child beater
 5. filipino prison thriller
 6.JENNI-cam
 7. the tron guy
 8. alabama leprechaun
 9. ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

Because I really have nothing of value to say at the moment,

The catholic sexual decision making chart

Arm Spirit, a Japanese arm wrestling arcade game, has been recalled after breaking the arms of three players. From the Associated Press:

“The machine isn’t that strong, much less so than a muscular man. Even women should be able to beat it,” said (game distributor) Atlus spokeswoman Ayano Sakiyama, calling the recall “a precaution…”

“We think that maybe some players get overexcited and twist their arms in an unnatural way,” she said.

Oh, SNAP. Not only (well) beaten by a machine, but beaten by a machine that even girls can beat

Gosh, I miss Japan

Did I use Oh Snap correctly? let me check my handy flowchart


 And finally, in more yet true news what is possibly the best or worst idea ever

The Financial Times today reports on a planned social network
for the U.S. intelligence community — a sort of MySpace for spooks,
dubbed A-Space. Idle question: are users referred to as “a-holes”?
Anyway, snip:

The Director of National Intelligence will open the
site to the entire intelligence community in December. The move is the
latest part of an ongoing effort to transform the analytical business
following the failure to detect the 9/11 terrorist attacks or find
weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
(…)Underscoring the power of social-networking sites, the Central
Intelligence Agency recently used Facebook to help boost applications
for the national clandestine service.

Can you even imagine a facebook for spies? EVERYONE’S PROFILE WILL BE FAKE! And even better-LOLSPIES

Oh yes friends, with three weeks to go til i take boards, any posts will be on study breaks now. So, reposted from another, here is a convo that made me laugh quite heartily, as i am a computer geek

St. Peter sees Jerry Falwell approaching the pearly gates and IMs Jesus

P34lyG4t3Pete: ROFLAMAO you’re never guess who I’ve got approaching right now
S4v10rpwns: OMG who???
P34lyG4t3Pete: Jerry Falwell.
S4v10rpwns: ZOMG *crucified *
S4v10rpwns: I gotta wake up Dad 4 this, brb

[G0DFTW has entered the chat]

G0DFTW: WTF?
P34lyG4t3Pete: I have Jerry Falwell approaching the pearly gates, sir.
G0DFTW: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA N00B
P34lyG4t3Pete: Do you want me to handle this or should I send him to you?
S4v10rpwns: Is to be bitchslapping time nau, plz?
P34lyG4t3Pete: omg srsly.
P34lyG4t3Pete: he’s here and demanding entry into heaven.
G0DFTW: ORLY.
P34lyG4t35ftw: YA RLY.
S4v10rpwns: LOL cry more emo kid

For more fun, go to moon.google.com, and zoom in all the way…I KNEW IT!

and finally,  where are you in humor 3 space?

Your Score: the Idiot Savant

(47% dark, 50% spontaneous, 63% vulgar)

your humor style:
VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT

You like things silly, immediate, and, above all, outrageous. Ixne on
the subtle word play, more testicles on fire, please. People like you
are the most likely to RECEIVE internet forwards–and also the most
likely to save them in a special folder entitled ‘HOLY SHIT’.

Because it’s so easily appreciated, and often wacky and physical, your
sense of humor never ceases to amuse your friends. Most realize that
there’s a sly intelligence and a knowing wink to your tastes. Your
sense of humor could be called ‘anti-pretentious’–but paradoxically
enough, that indicates you’re smarter than most.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Johnny Knoxville – Jimmy Kimmel

The 3-Variable Funny Test!
– it rules –

If you’re interested, try my best friend’s best test:
The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on darkness

You scored higher than 99% on spontaneity

You scored higher than 99% on vulgarity

China:
*digs*
Europe: KILL MAMMOTH. GET FUR.
FEED WOMAN. MAKE BABY.
China:
Omg copper!
Copper: *shiny*
CHINA
crits METAL for 1000000000.
China
has gained a level!
China: *digs
with copper tools!*
Tin: *reveals itself!*
China:
Omg!
Tin: *SHINIER*
CHINA
crits TIN for 200000000.
China
has gained a level!
China: *Has
entered the bronze age*
Europe: LOL FLINT
China: *Digs
with new bronze tools!*
Iron: Muwahahaha
China:
!!
CHINA crits IRON for
9999999999
China
has gained a level!
China: *Enters
the iron age*
China:
(5 min later) Omg, casting iron is 1337.
Europe: IF I HIT THIS SHINY ROCK
WITH THIS OTHER SHINY ROCK I CAN MAKE IT POINTY.

CHINA
WINS!

-J

So i was drifting aimlessly through the internets, and found a new quiz/meme thingy that looked like it could lead to future timewasting

So i present to you the Johari and Nohari windows. Basically, i went through a list of adjectives and picked 6 words i felt described my strenghts and weaknesses. The real fun comes however with the audience participation-i want YOU to go to the two below links and pick the 5-6 adjectives that YOU think describe me for both. Don’t worry, it’s anonymous-think of it as a general constructive criticism of me in general. If you dont know me in real life, feel free to wing it and pick things just based off my writing style-it’s a good chance to see where i am doing well in life and where i might be able to improve

Johari=http://kevan.org/johari?name=rveblade
Nohari=http://kevan.org/nohari?name=rveblade

And now for the entertainment portion, I present, the evolution of all sports as we know them

At
first a game is simple. Each rule in a sport was made because some guy
sucked and he wanted to give himself and advantage.Take Tennis for
example, which I’ve started playing….on nintendo wii

Fred says “try to hit the
ball past me.” Bob hits it by Fred and yells “one point for me!” Fred
says “no, umm… it has to bounce once on my side. Yea, that is it.”
Bob hits it by Fred (letting it bounce once) and says “one point for
me!” Fred says “No, umm… it has to bounce once on my side, but inside
this smaller square.” And so on.

And they haven’t even gotten in
to boundaries, Community Chest cards, volleying for serves, serves, the
net, deuces, scoring matches and set, valid excuses for losing, etc…
Eventually Bob gets piss off and has a decision to make. This is a
crucial part in the evolutionary development of the game and either
decision will have lasting ramifications. Bob can…

Option 1.) Kill Fred.
Option 2.) Vow to never play the sport again.

For all known sports the Bob chose option 2, which meant Fred must
find someone new to play the game with. The only exception to this is
Hockey. Bob chose to kill Fred, and Fred liked the effort so much he
decided to make it part of the game.

Fred finally finds someone
new to play the game with – probably a girl (allowing him to hit on her
while teaching the sport). His first move is to make a crucial
precedent though – he must start
by telling Julia “the rules are a little complicated, but this is how Bob and I always played.” Now the sport is set in stone.

Then
the sport gets a name. Later Nike makes a shoe for it – the sport can
now become an Olympic event. On top of that, each game caters to the
breeding of a specific type of weird physical trait. For basketball you
should be tall, hockey you want to be Canadian, sumo you want to be as
big as Canada, baseball you want to be easily amused, swimming you want
to be a dolphin, etc…

that’s it for today…time for sleeping!

-J

Fun Fact of the day from google: In addition to those of Rasputin, Napoleon, and John Dillinger, over 20
famous penises are believed to have been stolen by morgue workers and
sold on the black market.

It takes a special kind of mind to look at a cadaver and think, ya know, i could totally sell his wang on ebay

anyway, I was watching tv earlier, and saw a commercial for Cialis. And it was the most ridiculous thing i have ever seen. Here is someone’s most excellent description for you:

from felisdemens:
OH GOD GRANDPA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dear god. I have finally seen the most horrifying commercial ever.

It is, of course, for Cialis. Unsurprisingly.

Grandpa
pops some Cialis so he can sex up Grandma. However – oh noes! – the
whole nuclear family, with sprogs and dog, arrives unexpectedly for a
visit. No rumpy-pumpy for you, Granny! They exchange a rueful look
across the teeming, squalling masses of uninvited meat.

But wait! Ciagra-Panexa-Sanhedrin works for 36 hours! (But after 4 days call a doctor. And all your friends. And CNN.)

So
Grandpa and Grandma merrily join the family in a day of frolicking on
the seaside. Pushing the spawn in swings, picnicking, spray-painting
sea turtles, shooting heroin into their eyeballs, whatever families do.
Cause there’s always time for… oh, god, I can’t even finish that
sentence.

And all I can think about is that Grandpa has a GIANT CHEMICALLY INDUCED BONER THE ENTIRE TIME.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

-J

So one side effect of having my nifty little map in the corner as a counter is that i can see graphically where all my readers are. Of course as those bubble get bigger, and xanga footprints increase, i feel this corresponding need to write more often, almost inversely related with the quality or at least quantity of what i have to see. In the last 4 years since i started keeping a blog (dont worry, i am not waxing melodramatic on you) it has evolved from something that was initially a way to jot down thoughts and frustrations to a way to keep in touch with friends as we all moved to separate places to even my occasional travel agent as i stayed with friends i met through xanga. And now, i have totally lost track of who comes here or why. I average about 100 hits a day now, and i only have 50 subscribers, and that is awesome. Also, i have no idea where i was going with this, but lets just call it reader appreciation-thanks folks, whoever you are and whyever you come here to read my musings and links, you kick ass.

And now on with musings in list form for no good reason

1) We had our first performance as a band last night, and we rocked. Our official band name is the 38th parallel, the the line between good and evil, the imaginary line dividing north korea from south. We played 2 covers and 2 original songs. I sang lead on 1 of each, and our other singer, Focker, did for the others. Opened with basketcase by greenday, then killing in the name of by rage. then 2 songs by us, faith and devotion, and american jihad. The audience reaction was pretty good, we got applause and cheers and more importantly we all had a great time playing together. So as soon as i get the video and audio from people, i will post it up. See the delay in picture posting is not my fault this time!

2) To hell with exams, i leave for bangkok thailand in just 3 days! And i am going to the human bread bakery, and into the jungle for hiking and elephant rides and to hug a tiger and other stuff. I totally dont get those people who take vacations and then just want to sit poolside and sip drinks. For that, i could stay home and get drunk for free…I am all about seeing what the country has to offer exclusively, stuff that cant be found anywhere else, no matter how strange, dangerous, or perverted it may seem. It’s like being my own personal superhero/explorer or something.

3) I received internet spam the other day, with the sender Jesus, and the subject line “porn!” And my first thought was “Jesus
porn?? Whaaaaa?” Then, of course, my active imagination took over…
“Followers, this is my body and blood. Let us all partake of my body…
*bow-chikka-wow-wow*” And I was thoroughly confused for several minutes

4) this is a super long tattoo to have on your back. presumably it is there for the gentleman to read while he engages in intercourse, but that would creep me out…what about you?

__
-J

Just for asking, leslie, and because stress and exams always hone my parody skills…

If you are a med student
to tune of if you like pina coladas
by Josh

I was tired of this lecture
the prof was now boring me
like a worn out recording
of my fave mp3
so while i fought back sleeping
checked my computer instead
and as i signed into facebook
there was an invite that read

if you like getting nerdy, and the usmle
you’re addicted to study, and love pathology
if you like staying up til midnight
and to class you come late
then you are a med student, i’m sorry for your fate

I didnt listen to the lecture
I know it dont seem too bright
but i could download it later
from the CMS internets website
so i went to the forum
to go join in the debate
i was really excited
because to this i relate

yes i am pretty geeky
when it comes to the step one
the brs is my best friend,
i find studying fun
you’ve got to add me as your buddy
and we can chat on IM
bout how our lives are torture
i know you understand

checked my email with high hopes
when i signed in that day
there was a message in my inbox
wondered just what it might say
it was from my professor
and it said, “here’s a clue.
if you sleep in the front row
of my lecture i see you”

if you are an m2 prepping
to go to take the boards
then its okay to skip class
but dont come here and snore
i know it can seem overwhelming
with all that you must learn
but your hard work will pay off
your place here you have earned

——

One more week til exams, huzzah! :-/

-J

Oh. My. Goodness. The following post is copy pasted whole from the internets. It is things like these that make me want to climb into my computer and never ever leave because all my craziness is validated multifold. This had to be shared. so please enjoy, while I resume studying (HAH) for my behavioral science SHELF exam.*

*should that even be capitalized? does shelf stand for something, or is it just we needed some inanmiate object to suddenly become intimidating to med students? meh. whatever

foxfirefey:
I think we’re neglecting cannibalism. What better way to express your
love for someone than making them part of you? IN THE FLESH.

socratic:
Look here, mister, cannibalism as a form of romantic expression is
HIGHLY overrated. For one thing there are significant portions of the
human body that are impossible and/or inconvenient to prepare for
consumption. Have you ever cooked an appendix? NO. You have not! It is
also quite high in calories (and while you can replace certain meals
with human flesh you still need your standard doses of fruit,
vegetables, refined sugar and preservatives, none of which are provided
by the human body. Also have you ever brought flesh-jerky to a lunch
meeting? People always ask you to share. Then you have to go through
the whole “Sorry, can’t let you have any, it’s the dessicated flesh of
someone I love.” conversation, which is so tedious.)

Then
there’s the excretion and egestion matter. What you take in you also
let out. This means that every time you pee or drop a deuce you are
also releasing bits of your lover. You have to either collect these
waste products or flush away your love.

If you use taxidermy not
only do you avoid ALL of these issues, but you also get laid. Have you
ever tried to have sex with a dookie made up entirely of your lover’s
undigested flesh? I have. It’s just not romantic.

funsocaltiger:
Your cynicism and pragmatism far overlooks the overwhelmingly romantic
as well as symbolic guesture of consuming not only the flesh but the
soul of your loved one! Not to mention your dismissal of the
consumption of the hardest to prepare organs such as the spleen or
kidneys. Nothing says “I love you” more than having to cleanse, boil,
cleanse, boil and repeat ad infinitum the kidneys of your lover. To say
otherwise is to scream, “I can’t commit.”

socratic:
And you overlook the care and meticulouslness required to practice the
fine art of taxidermy. You think boiling a kidney requires commitment?
Try stuffing a face in such a way that it both looks like it did in
life and doesn’t damage the skin. You think that wolfing down a
mouthful of spleen is symbolic. What about the symbolism of
painstakingly recreating the genitals of your lover out of rubber and
then installing them between her thighs (Vaginae are all but impossible
to keep ‘fresh’.)

Cannibals talk a good game about ‘consuming
the soul’ and ‘an eternal mingling’ but they’re fickle in my
experience. Lovers are like Chinese food. Eat one in March and you’ll
be hungry for a new one by November. Taxidermy, on the other hand,
allows the relationship to truly be a lifelong affair. Your lover will
be perfectly preserved for as long as you take care of her. And the
upkeep is a means of maintaining that special bond.

Cannibalism is a young person’s sort of love. Intense but fleeting. Taxidermy is mature and lasting.

-J

Okay, so given how many webcomics i read to procrastinate, i figured it was high time i started one. So here it is, appropriately titled Straight to Hell

I know, I know, artistically speaking (and i use the term loosely) it resembles cyanide and happiness, but it is hard to draw on the internets. Anyway, each strip will feature one medical fact under the did you know section, and while there will be a lot of jokes geared toward med students, hopefully the rest of you will find it funny occasionally as well.

So please please please leave me your thoughts, impressions and criticism, constructive or otherwise. This will just be a once a week thing every friday for now unless i see enough of a response to do more. And no worries about me getting bored too soon. I have about 15 strips done thus far, and ideas for another 10 more off the top of my head. So enjoy, because ultimately, we are all going straight to hell, so we might as well enjoy ourselves on the way

-J