As our trip drew to a close, we returned to madrid for one last wild day of travel fun…only to discover it was a weekend and madrid was again closed for business. SO instead we took another day trip this time to El Escorial, the seat of both political and religious power of 16th century spain and home of King Phillip II. He had it built to serve as a palace and monastery

And did I mention royal NECROPOLIS? Yes, death has worked his sly way into another post, making you think of zombies when you least expect it

The entrance to the pantheon of the kings, where only crowned monarchs or parents of crowned monarchs can be interred. With only 2 spaces left in this prime real estate, who knows where the current royal family will reside

If the pics are out of focus, it is because we were extremely prohibited from taking any photos in these rooms, and I had to hide behind the obese guy in the tour group and snap off fast shots, mission impossible style, before the security guard or cameras turned my way. Oh the lengths i go to to document my travels for you people

But this royal mausoleum was more than one room. It was an entire complex (hence, necropolis-city of the dead). The above pics are from the pantheon of princes, the burial place for princes, princesses, and queens who were not mothers of kings. Blank shields above a crypt means space is still available for a limited time! act now!

The tomb of Prince John of Austria…perhaps better known to you as Don Juan, half brother of King Phillip II

And here is what I can only describe as a dead baby cake. Each tier of this wedding cake is inscribed with the names of various ingredients (erm, i mean princes) who did not survive the birthing process or died shortly in infancy, creating a creamy nougat filling for this tomb of cannabalism.

Also part of the complex are the basilica of san lorenzo

The library is also an impressive and extensive collecion

here is what it looks like when a legally accquired image is taken with appropiate permission and bribes

Here is my clandestine spy photo…

Finally, there is also an architectural museum on grounds, with the original tools used to build el escorial along with blueprints and the like

My bro, being mature since our mom is in this photo

Calipers for brians big bulbous american brain

Trinity? we’re going to need guns. Lots of guns

That concludes my trip to spain, with the one caveat that since i tried to bring back a dagger for my friend as a gift, I kinda sorta got on the do not fly terrorist list. Okay well actually, they just checked my name against it when they found that i unthinkly had a weapon in my bag that i was trying to bring on the plane, along with some fingerprinting and minor adminstative details. But hoo boy, Am i ever glad that I can speak spanish, that could have been a most unfortunate occurence.

Anywho, next post will begin a new feature, As i use my days off to tour the city of chicago and all its landmarks known and otherwise. Also watch for a new look to the site…after 5 years or so on xanga, its time to shake things up a bit

-J

So As I mentioned before, the Albayzin is the section of granada wherein the ALhambra is located. Filled with hills and caves and gypsies and whatnot. The Alhambra consists of numerous buildings, like the palace of Justice, court of the lions, and other equally cool names. Why dont we do that with architecture anymore? Library of the damned, hospital of the healing touch? Anyway

Here is one shot of the Albayzin Quarter, with some of the Alhambra on the left side


Because what would YOU do with a cannon?

Some of the original colors of the Alhambra

Moorish Ruler, The Josh

Obligatory “hold the camera away from my head even when there are people to take my pic” pic

This one has got to be my favorite shot of the Alhambra. I even have a painting of it in my room.

Is anyone else thnking of the prince of persia games?
j

And there I am, the Prince himself

Of course, what you have seen is onyl a small fraction of the Alhambra, but lets take a brief trip down to the Albayzin so we can get good shots of the Fortress tonite

How bazaar!

SQUARE DONUTS! WHat madness is this?

Brian Showing us his guts

The nuns of this convent are not allowed to see anyone, so to make their living, they bake sweets and rotate them through this window

After a fresh dinner of authentic paella and cherries, the sun has gone down and we can see the Alhambra exterior in all its glory
 
Yes there is one purposely out of focus pic…lets call it my artistic shot

On the morrow, it is back to madrid for one more day trip
-J

The Alhambra is a unesco world heritage sight that is competing for the title of of one of the seven wonders of the world. Did you know there are multiple sets of seven wonders? The ancient world, the new world, the modern world etc. I was always under the impression that there were 7 and that was it. If we keep changing them, why not just say everything is marvelous? Anyway.

The Alhambra is a Mighty Moorish Muslim Monarch palace/stronghold, named for the color of its red clay walls (Al Hamra=the red in arabic), and is a large structure so it might take more than one post to get through. Lets begin in the generalife. In arabic it means the architects garden (jannat al arif), and is one of the oldest surviving moorish gardens (thanks, wikipedia!)

Yes yes, i am a giant sucker for nature, especially gardens and pics of flowers. I am a sissy, i know, but i am a sissy who has learned about the macro feature on his camera (thanks, Andysensei!)

I know i know, there are not a lot of words in this post, particularly for the ordinarily verbiose me, but try and just look at the pics and get a sense of the peace and tranquility the gardens brought me. Or, speed through them like our tour guide decided too. Man, she lost me so fast i didnt even know i was on a tour.

Alright, I will leave you to muse on the gardens for a day or so, while I upload pics of the Albayzin, the main buildings of the alhambra for the next post

Returning to my travels through spain, from madrid, we journeyed to the city of granada. Granada is best known for the Alhambra, but if you know me, you know the best known aspect of a city is never the first part I explore. One of the lesser known draws of southern spain, and particularly granada is the flamenco dancing

Flamenco is a traditional dance often performed by gypsies, or the romany, as they call themselves. Though gypsies are known for roaming, several of them reside rather permanently in caves high in the hills of granada. And so, fresh from the train, our first introduction to andalusia was the sounds and rhythms of flamenco dancing

As you can see, the caves stretch back quite a ways, and are decorated with all sorts of odds and ends. But dont let this so called primitive interior fool you

Living in a cave doesnt mean you have to deprive yourself of modern luxuries like swimming pools, apparently

Thus began the flamenco show. Each group consisted of a family type unit, though whether they were truly related, who can say?

The patriarch, or singer, led the chorus and musicians in the beats the others danced too

Now in addition to the singer, each group consisted of 4 dancers. Let’s call them, the mother, the maid, the crone, and the heir. First to dance was always the mother, to show a balance of beauty and experience

She was followed by the crone, showing the wisdom and technique only age can provide

The crone was followed by the maid, with the innocence and excitement of youth that lends an entirely different nuance to the flamenco

Yep, she’s a cutie. However, she shant be a maid for long, for following her came the heir

look at the pimp cane…do you know how smooth he was?

yeah, that smooth. And becauce women love a man who can dance
they coupled up and did a joint dance.

Now you might be saying to yourself, that does sound exciting josh, but why didn’t YOU get up and try to do this flamenco thing? And if you said that, well then, you truly are my loyal followers, and know me well

Okay, okay, so i still got some work to do…but there you go ladies…that is another dancing style i have under my belt. Impressed yet? 

I see you baby. shakin that ass.

And as we left the cave, we thanked the gypsies for sharing their culture with us, and showing everyone a rollicking good time

And we looked across the hills of southern spain, to see our next destination…

…The Alhambra

-J

After departing Toledo, we returned to madrid and ate dinner. Very exciting, I know, but that is because madrid was still closed for business. The next day, I took the family on a little detour to the town of Consuegra, in the heart of La Mancha spain.

For all you illiterate heathens out there, La Mancha is the region Cervantes made famous with his tales of a demented old man by the name of Don Quixote. And Consuegra is the real town that one of my favorite Don Quixote Adventures is based on-tilting with the giants. So lets open a door into our imaginations…

The town square of another thriving metropolis in spain…

Ah yes, the famous windmills of consuegra, often confused for giants by demented elderly people. Quite a host was arrayed against me that day

Yes, but I was determined to succeed where Don Quixote had failed

This is a random castle that has nothing to do with this post, but i forgot to put it in the toledo pictures

This is the inside of a windmill

And this is the inside of a windmill that I have conquered. Take THAT great literature.
Oh yeah and did i mention that there was an actual castle near the windmills?

With real authentic construction equipment from the medievalteenth century!

The plains of spain were not getting any rain

The castle chapel

Dark Priest brian hidden in a back room

What to do with a dark priest in my castle?

I wont stand for it, even if he IS my brother…throw him in the dungeon!
 
better luck next time, villain.
 
And thus we returned from consuegra and storybook land to continue onto the south of spain

-J

P.S. a pirate comic

Since madrid was essentially closed for a number of the days we stayed in spain, we took a number of day trips to nearby cities. One such was The city of Toledo, well known for its religious monuments and production of arms and armor back in the day

The city had some very narrow streets, but quite picturesque

Continuing our run of poor timing, every single religious site but one was closed on the day we went to toledo. So we decided to make the most of it. Ahead of you you can see the Cathedral de Santo Tomas. Lets take a gander inside, shall we?

Then we resumed wandering around

The streets all had these little decorations hanging on the wall, which gave the city a nice european touch. Which is good, seeing as how we were in europe and all

Oh yes, did i mention that toledo is known for its weaponry?

This room brought not one, not two, but several tears to my eye. Swords, armor, and arms galore! Playtime!

Brian as a conquistadworetzky

Spartans! Tonite we dine in HELL!…As my friend the king says, the fact that i had grown my beard out adds a touch of realism to the photo. Trying to picture what i must have sounded like? well, lucky you!

You have absolutely no idea how much more mischief could have been wreaked had the store not closed at 2pm, along with everything else in spain. SO instead i just picked up a 50 year old spanish gladius for a tidy sum, and continued on my way with the fam to get some lunch in a dungeon

the food was meh…i guess all the rumors about prison fare are true

and what would lunch be without a dessert of some cake frozen to the whisky? well, a lunch that my mom favors, so we will never know.

On call tomorrow, loyal readers, so next spain post in a few days. And when the spain trip is finally done, i will be more than happy to tell you all about being a pseudo doctor

When last I left off, my family and I were wandering the city of Madrid looking for something that was actually open. Well, a little research on my part before we left told me that the month of June in Spain is known for the festival of San Isidro, A famous bullfighting tourney held approximately 1 month before the running of the bulls (it is this week, and obviously, i am on rotation so cannot go (T_T) )

This is a fairly popular festival as i am sure you can imagine

Wooo-eeh. look at those crowds

The tourney began with a procession

After making a loop around the ring, the high inquistor released the fighters competing for the day

All these people are involved in fighting a bull. Seems a bit unfair, doesnt it?

This is the spanish equivalent of the bikini-clad vixens who parade around the ring at boxing matches announcing what round. There were a total of 12 fights on the card for us to watch and judge

Yes the brothers Dworetzky sat down to enjoy some good old fashioned
quality toreadoring (that is bullfighting, to the non spanish-speaking
among you). We were having a grand old time until we realized that the
real thing is not so much like the cartoons. For one, the bull dies at
the end. for real. every time. There is no little circle of
birds/stars/dancing matadors above the head, the bull is just killed
and then dragged around the stadium. Also, the matadors cheat. I always thought it was man versus beast, mano a mano and the best competitor wins. Instead, multiple junior bullfighters all gang up on the creature until he is tired and bloodied, then the headliner comes and delivers the final blow…where is the sport in that?

What is this hiding behind walls whenever he gets to close, then taunting him? huh?

The reason the horse is blindfolded is because he is there for the bull to charge into, while the guy safely on his back stabs a spear into the bull. ANd you thought YOUR job sucked

Finally, all glory be to the matador (spanish for “killer”) who steps in to deliver the mercy blow to the beast, ending the fight. Then they do it again. After 4 fights, i couldnt watch it anymore, so we left to go be immature outside the stadium

No bulls were harmed in the making of this photo

One matador might have been though

-J

Well after much ado about nothing, the waste of time known as clinical skills course is over, i am officially moved downtown (in lincoln park, w00t) and i begin doctoring, albeit as the lowest monkey on the totem pole, on monday. Given all that, i figured i should try and pump out a couple of spain posts before i begin work and have to neglect xanga for who knows how long

So let me begin…

Just so you all know, spain is closed on weekends. Yes, spain, as in the ENTIRE FREAKING COUNTRY. Thankfully i had purchased tickets to a bullfight for the first night we arrived, since all tourist attractions, shops, and the majority of restaurants were closed until monday. This was not a national holiday, just business as usual

however I did see some nice knockers like this one

Nice…one sexual pun and its only the first post. still got it

Here is the Palacio Real, aka the royal palace (closed)

Don Quixote and Sancho Panza, one of my favorite old time classics, and apparently one of Espanas favorites as well

As we kept wandering we came across a sign that appeared to read, Museum of Ham. Whatever in the world could be inside?

Spaniards <3 their meat

Brian also loves spanish meat. wall to wall meat.

Another shot of the closed for business royal palace

And the walkway to the puerta del sol, a huge gathering place filled with shops and restaurants. Very european, and very closed. However, since we were in madrid for 3 days, we did finally make it out to look in some of the shops, so dont fret

Our hotel did not allow flappers, or smoking of fancy cigarettes….we never did figure out which

One of the few things that was open was the famous Prado museum, with an entire room devoted to Goya, one of my favorite artists (along with MC Escher and Salvador Dali) so we walked through that and took a gander….sadly no photos inside the museum, so you cannot appreciate the art along with me

If anyone saw the movie Eurotrip, you will understand why I took this picture, and why my mother prevented me from doing any more than taking a photo…if not, go rent the movie!

The Plaza Mayor is know for being the site of the many trials of the Spanish Inquistion

I have no idea who that man is, but perhaps he was an inquistor…

Why is there a chicago hot dog place in spain???

The lovely and relaxing Retiro Park

With Accompanying Crystal Palace (dont be fooled, it is really glass, but glass palace doesnt sound quite as regal)

The Triunfo in Madrid

The Puerta Del Sol in the evening

Next Post…bullfighting!

-J