December 25, 2004

• Merry Xmas!

  
  

  So first off I am going to gloat to all my friends in places with real winter. Yesterday, I drove to venice beach with Ken, Lenny, Bahram, Simon, and Dan…and we played volleyball for several hours. The weather? 70 and sunny and warm. Ate lunch at Mao’s Kitchen (the people’s food, check it out!) then back to play some B-Ball on the same courts you can see in the movie American History X…although nary a nazi was to be found. I was at the beach in the middle of December. Ha ha ha

  
  

  Okay so when i go back to negative weather in like a week, i can remember my one glorious moment of warmness.

  
  

  On to the xmas stuff

  
  

  Scary Xmas Story

  
  

  So at a xmas party tonite and talking to a friend and heard quite possibly one of the scariest things ever. One of the parents left her children with a babysitter. While the babysitter was sitting with the kids, she kept noticing a lawn ornament gnome in the house that she felt was looking at her. It creeped her out, so she called the parents and asked them if she could just put it in a closet or something, because she was a little uncomfortable. The parents told her to take the kids and get out of the house, as they had no such ornament

  
  

  End result: The police arrested a schizophrenic midget dressed up in christmas attire who was in fact watching the girl. The children had told the parents earlier that a little man was living in their closet (I laughed and shivered at that one) but the parents didnt think anything of it until the babysitter called

  
  

  How creepy is that?

  
  

  Can’t sleep, clowns AND midgets will EAT ME

  
  

  Okay on to some other xmas stuff

  
  

  
  Christmas at The Rumsfelds, courtesy of low culture

  
  

  And on a random aside, since I don’t think anyone else is going to participate in this weeks caption contest, I am pre-emptively declaring YourDailyCockBlock the winner.

  
  

  

  
  

  YDCB: Bush, like Rudolph, never got to join the reindeer games.

  
  

  so 2 points to him. New caption contest will begin monday, and i will actually keep a tally of these points, so seriously people get cracking. 100 points and you get a prize! A PRIZE!

  
  

  And because what would a post of the josh be without some kind of wacky porn. So I present you christmas themed gingerbread kama sutra recipes

  
  

  

  
  

  

  
  

  *cue music from Avenue Q ‘the internet is for porn’*

  
  

  There I go providin you with class for the holidays.

  
  

  Seriously though, to all my friends who read this, happy holidays, I am thinking of you and hope you are well

  
  

  To all of you who read this and dont actually know me, Seasons greetings to you as well, and i hope one day we can meet

  
  

  To Santa, I would like the following things for xmas if you have a spare moment and I have been nice (my non christian religious pathway notwithstanding)

  
  

  1. That sweet Tai Chi sword at the weapons dealer in the swapmeet (his name is Gil)
  2. The DVD for The Mating Habits of the Earth Bound Human
  3.Any of the kubrick figurines from the robot store in santa monica that just opened
  4.2 more people to sign up and help me get my free IPOD Dammit!
  5. U2′s how to dismantle an Atomic Bomb
  6.An atomic bomb (well as long as i know how to dismantle it, right?)

  
  

  -J

  
  

  Josh saw mommy kissing santa claus

  • 4:03 am
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