September 6, 2005

• Alrighty folks since exams are coming up and i need to get into
  hardcore study mode, posts are gonna be few and far between for a
  while. That said, this is gonna be a long post, so Gen, Dang, Mari, and
  any of all y’all who doesn’t have the patience for the old school Josh,
  this might be a good time to tune out

  That said, where to begin?

  How about with some current events?

  The real “intelligent” design

  We’re not in Kansas anymore folks. Now while I like to polk the
  occasional fun at mormons (2 points to anyone who knows how many times
  i have presented the mormon guide to how not to masturbate on this
  site) I was overjoyed to hear that Utah voted UNANIMOUSLY to not have
  intelligent design taught in schools. This means that on the whole,
  anyone from utah is smarter than anyone from kansas…or at least less
  gullible.

  And if the mormons are this smart, they may be on to something with that whole polygamy thing

  “By definition, science does not attempt to explain the world by
  invoking the supernatural,” University of Utah bioengineering professor
  Gregory Clark told the board.
     ”Intelligent design fails as
  science because it does exactly that – it posits that life is too
  complex to have arisen from natural causes, and instead requires the
  intervention of an intelligent designer who is beyond natural
  explanation. Invoking the supernatural can explain anything, and hence
  explains nothing”

  And now, a fun Utah fact: Utah is in fact the birthplace of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Who knew?

  Hurrican Ka-Ching!-a
  
  Okay, since everyone else has had this marvelous blunder by the
  Associated Press up on the web, i figured i would joing the crowd

  The Associated Press has separately captioned two photos of looters in the wake of Katrina. The photo of a black man refers to his “looting,” and the photo of a white pair refers to their “finding.” I would like to know why this happened.

  And let’s face it, we are not just talking about the race card here, we
  are talking about the whole damn deck. People receiving the fastest aid
  are usually those in the upper to middle class areas, which are
  predominantly white…they are being evacuated first,
  getting the pick of supplies, and all that jazz, while the poor areas
  are kinda being overlooked because hey, poor folks tend to vote
  democrat, and if these die off, well hey they breed like rabbits
  anyway, plenty more where that came from

  Oh and btw, in case that doesn’t work, if any more natural disasters
  occur, Homeland Security is gearing up to assume full responsibility,
  whatever the 1984 that means. The next step toward big brothers
  dictatorship can be found here folks

  Preparing America

  In
  the event of a terrorist attack, natural disaster or other large-scale
  emergency, the Department of Homeland Security will assume primary
  responsibility on March 1st for ensuring that emergency response
  professionals are prepared for any situation. This will entail
  providing a coordinated, comprehensive federal response to any
  large-scale crisis and mounting a swift and effective recovery effort.
  The new Department will also prioritize the important issue of citizen
  preparedness. Educating America’s families on how best to prepare their
  homes for a disaster and tips for citizens on how to respond in a
  crisis will be given special attention at DHS.

  scary, isn’t it?

  Cowboy and Indians

  Thankfully, despite the coke monkey’s continuing efforts to make
  everyone in the world hate us, other countries recognize that in a time
  of need, we are all human, which is why India is coming to the rescue.
  Hmm…think the administration will accept this “insourcing”?

  “India has offered a comprehensive assistance package to the US, the
  world’s largest relief donor. The offer was formally communicated to
  the White House by Indian ambassador to the US, Ronen Sen, on Saturday.

  Tapping into its experience in combating large scale disasters,
  India’s three-pronged package attempts to export a combination of
  materials and expertise. Apart from a $5 million contribution to the
  American Red Cross, India has offered to fly across Army medical teams
  to New Orleans. Army, rather than civilian, relief teams are being
  offered keeping in view the worsening law and order situation in the
  city.

  India reckons water purification will be urgently required in a
  city where contamination would be rife, causing water-borne diseases.
  As a leading producer of bulk drugs, India is sending across a large
  consignment of medicines. After attending to numerous large-scale
  disasters, including last December’s tsunami and last month’s Mumbai
  flooding, India now has acquired considerable expertise in combating
  such large-scale disasters”

  I included the above summary for those of you to lazy to click on the link.

  Hey, finally television is good for something! Survivors in New Orleans are forming Tribes! wonder how long until Faux news sues them for copyright infringement?

  I’ve Got Gas!
  

  and of course the disaster in Lousiana is yet another reason for our
  already high gas prices to be jacked up. And yes to all the
  international readers, I realize how good I have had it as an american
  with cheap gas for so long…but ya know what…try getting used to
  something and then having people change it on you…sucks, don’t it? I
  thought so.

  Okay time to get off my soapbox and give y’all something cheery, or at least weird.

  Lend a Hand?

  
  This Thai student is human body parts…out of bread…this comes
  dangerously close to satisyfing my curiousity about cannibalism in a
  relatively safe non-confrontational way…who wants to go to thailand
  with me?
  
  Alice in WonderBra

  So a whole bunch of famous haute couture designer got together and made
  a bunch of interpretive photos of Alice in Wonderland…cool stuff,
  check it out

  Okay that should be enough weird links…lets finish off with a little bit of what the hell I have been doing lately.

  Again exams have been coming up so most of my time has been spent studying anatomy and making REALLY bad jokes

  What’s a pirates favorite part of the body? The aortic ARRRRch
  Why do pirates make such good lovers? They can’t stop searching for buried treasure

  And or studying histo and tutoring physio. Let me tell you folks there
  is a doubt in my mind that I have earned that master’s I got in physio.
  People are now approaching ryan and I everywhere on campus with
  questions about things that by this point have little to nothing to do
  with physio, just because they know we have answers…dont get me wrong
  i love it, but it means that it is hard for me to do my studying on
  campus anymore

  Oh and Kelly and Grrsh…I will hopefully have a Physio Masterpiece
  Theater up on xanga in a few weeks when I get some free time…I can’t
  wait to hear your opinions on it, so i shall keep you posted

  Aside from class, I have just been working out and still pursuing the
  attractive AP. Girls crazy my head though. A reliable wingperson spoke
  with the attractive AP about her opinions on my first asking her out
  attempt to do a little reconaissance for me. I learned that she thinks
  I am a cool guy, but kinda gets a vibe from me that I have a japanese
  fetish.

  I will pause so you can all finish laughing

  Now the problem is, this is “technically” true, but has nothing to do
  with why I like her. So i have been advised to play down my love of
  asian culture for the time being.

  Of course like two days after I heard this, the attractive AP was over
  at my place for dinner with some other friends and then I spent about
  an hour helping her with physio (no i was not stupid enough to charge
  her…give me some credit peepz) Following this, i gave her some
  leftovers.

  Fast forward another day or so…I am out to dinner with some friends
  and I get a random call saying she was taking a study break and eating
  the food I gave her and wanted to see what I was up to…now we all
  know I am HORRIBLE at phone conversations, but I gave it my damndest to
  hit that 10 minute mark chatting with her. She also wants me to call
  when i go to the gym so she can join my friend and I, and icing on the
  cake, offered to cook me dinner when I am done with my exams

  So question loyal followers: given that I have not had time to “play down” the asian infatuation,

  1) WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?
  2) Ladies and Gentlemen…how would you all say things stand?

  One friend has told me I am being too agressive, but I not sure
  how…med school plays all sorts of hell with dating games, so I am
  requesting your advice on this one

  Last but not least here is a brief list of fun things I did over the weekend:

  1. Asked my computer to “rock me like a hurricane”
  2. A victory dance in my shower
  3. Drunken Frisbee, which is great cuz you can actually see the entire
  past present and future trajectory of the frisbee before it leaves
  someone’s hand if you are drunk enough
  4. cooked a quality meal
  5. did a handstand for no good reason to see how long i could balance
  6. looked for stuff to post for you, cuz i miss you all and your comments

  Alright 5 points to anyone who made it through this whole post…just
  comment and they shall be awarded…and dont forget to keep track! A
  special prize is awared at 100 points

  -J

  Josh is proud to announce his new membership in a group of fellow ocean wary peoples

  

  • 2:08 am
  • 9 Comments