May 7, 2007

• Spiderman Musings

  WARNING! SPOILERS!

  So i saw spiderman 3 the other night, and here are some of the thoughts that occurred to me

  Where the hell does Peter keep getting all these extra masks from? They get torn off like nobody’s business anytime someone so much as glances at him, and then 2 shots later he has  fresh one

  People in that movie are on a LOT of medications…look how many aunt may alone had to take, not to mention JJ jameson and the police chief

  For one of spidermans greatest enemies in the comics, venom sure was easy to beat

  A lot of problems could have been avoided if harrys butler had mentioned, oh yeah, your father killed himself…woops, didnt you know?

  Emo spiderman is freaking HILARIOUS: i want to walk around the city just randomly pointing at people and slick my hair down so i can feel like a badass

  I want a button like J Jonah Jamesons secretary had that is not only a buzzer, but shakes the freaking table from a room away

  WHy did all the people just kinda hang out watching spidey battle sandman and venom when shit was falling everywhere. freaking new york is full of rubberneckers

  Note to eddie brock…i dont think asking god to kill someone because you were humiliated is the proper use of a church. Or maybe it is, i am not read up on my christianity

  topher grace made a MUCH better venom than i was expecting

  Harry seduced mary jane with an OMELET. Why can’t my life be that easy?
  wait a tic…mary jane is a WHORE. Stop kissing him, you tramp, he being a friend, and you betraying peter. painted jezebel

  The last couple of scenes were really anticlimactic. allow me to summarize

  Sandman: yo spidey, you beat venom, so just so you know, even though i have been trying to kill you, i didnt really want to
  SPidey: word?
  Sandman: yep. Its just my daughter is sick. Oh, and sorry about killing your uncle dude, totally my bad
  Spidey: aw, no worries man, it happens. So you wanna have one more battle
  Sandman: naw, we pretty much proved i am invincible. besides, there only 5 minutes left in the movie
  SPidey: oh okay, well see ya then
  Sandman: peace out

  Spidey: dude harry, way to pull through for me there. ANything i can do for you, buddy?
  Harry: I’m dying, dickhead
  Spidey: Oh. right. Hey sorry about all that stuff before, like ya know, throwing that bomb in your face
  Harry: oh that? dont worry bout it man, we cool *dies*

  And one excellent point brought up by my bro

  Is there ANYONE who doesnt know spidermans identity….every single one of his supervillains finds out who he s and where he lives, that he is in love with mary jane and anythning they need to get him at a weak spot. Not to mention that he is without his mask for at least half of every movie. And already a train full of people saw who he was in the 2nd movie. He might as well just call himself Peter Parker Man

  • 12:21 am
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