July 4, 2009

• Road to Jordan: The Dead(ly) Sea

  Leaving Egypt behind, I had to cross not a desert, but a sea, to reach Jordan. The Red Sea, in fact. You think waiting at Airports can take a long time? We arrived at the Egypt side of the ferry at about 1pm. We hung out playing cards in the waiting area until about 4.
  
  After boarding the ferry, we had our passports stamped, a thermometer inserted into our ears to supposedly check for swine flu and then we waited for another hour while everyone else boarded. Then we had a 90 minute ride during which I became much more proficient at gin rummy.

  Take Heed would be adventurers…most of adventuring involves waiting. and card games. Do NOT leave home without a deck of cards.
  
  Sunset from the Jordan side of the Red Sea.
  
  I checked into My Hotel. (a 3 star by Jordan standards beats a 5 star in Egypt…then again, Jordans dinar is more powerful than the american dollar, so there you go).
  
  We had a rooftop dinner in Aqaba, where I treated myself to this mint lemonade which I have thus far been unsuccesful in recreating. I also ate a LOT of lamb in Jordan. more on that later.

  Our group had once again shrunk, this time from 16 to 6, two of whom were short round and I. Now while I am fairly pale skinned, I planned ahead appropriately and brought my spf 3000, which is why for the first time in my life I tanned on this vacation from a translucent white to a ruddy chocolate brown. Short round however, forgot to cover one or two key areas…dont think you need sunscreen kids?
  
  Think again. Beautiful isnt it? He had a matching one on the other arm. But enough of injuries, lets get back to the ADVENTURE
  
  That right there behind me? That is the Dead Sea, so called because of it’s complete absence of life. This is mostly due to the fact that this sea has no outlets, so the water runs in and then evaporates in the desert heat, leaving behind only more highly concentrated saltwater. The Dead Sea is 33% salinity, more than 10 times the amount of salt of any other body of water in the world. It is also shrinking at the rate of approximately 1 meter per year, so in another 50 years or so, The Dead Sea will no longer exist. That white coastline you see? ALL SALT. Delicious sea salt which I now cook with.
  
  This pillar of salt is the wife of Lot from the bible. For those of you unfamiliar with the story, Lot was a denizen of Sodom (as in Sodomy!) one of the five sinful and doomed cities God destroyed for their wickedness. Angels came to warn Lot to leave the city, and when they spent the night at his house, the people of Sodom came to rape the angels despite being offered Lot’s virgin daughters. As a thank you for not being raped (where are the hallmark cards for that) Lot and his family left Sodom before fire and brimstone rained down, but they were told not to look back. Lot’s wife turned around, and became the pillar of Salt you see in the pic above.

  Moral of The Story: Women, learn to follow directions
  
  But now that we have seen the Dead Sea and some salt touristy things, how is the water?
  
  I Know what you’re thinking…OMG The Josh is swimming! Yes, for the first time in over a decade, I am swimming…remember? It’s the DEAD sea. Nothing lives in it to bite me. This is the one place on earth I am perfectly safe from the evil machinations of Sea Life.
  
  Look Ma, No hands!
  
  No feet!
  
  No back!
  
  Now I know exactly how all those flying superheroes feel. It really is ridiculously easy to float.
  
  In fact, it was so easy, we formed our own synchronized swimming team.

  You just walk in and lay back, and you are practically forced into the position by the water itself. Oh, but, fyi? Saltwater burns, and if you enter the dead sea, you will quickly learn about cuts you did not know you had. Also do not under any circumstances put your face into the water. From what I hear, it is like being maced, and I know thats unpleasant (erm…ahem.)
  
  Instead, I opted to go for the mud pack treatment from the famous dead sea mud.
  
  Surprise! Who needs blackface when you have body mud!
  
  So I did my war dance
  
  Terrifying, isn’t it? You are lucky I am of such a peaceful nature.

  After spending about an hour swimming and another 40 minutes eating the best buffet lunch evAr, we hopped back into our tiny tour bus and traveled to Mt Nebo
  
  
  
  In the Bible, while Moses is the one who leads the Israelites out of Egypt and to the promised land, he was not allowed to enter the promised land himself. However, God permitted Moses to see the promised land his people would enter as part of the covenant, and Mt Nebo is from where Moses saw the end of his people’s years of wandering.
  
  
  Thats the Dead sea in the background
  
  All the things Moses could espy from the mountaintop. However, his gravesite has still never been found….

  …and I wasnt going to be the one to find it. I had enough on my plate, and my trail was leading me ever closer to the holy grail. I could tell I was close, for the next stop on the tour would be the Red Rose City…

  • 3:43 am
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