August 21, 2009
-
More fun patient stories
On night float, I mostly admit or cross cover patients. I am not responsible for following them, just getting them in and up to the floor. If you think of a hospital as a hotel (and some of our patients clearly do) then I would be the equivalent of the check-in desk, or maybe the bellhop
Some Memorable Patients recently…
Snoop Dogg Granny with a social history of her smoking says she had a pack a day for 7 years, then quit for 15 then started again because she “likes [her] nictonine better than her lungs” Next I asked her about alcohol consumption and this 88 year old frail looking responds that she drinks gin and oj every day! “rolling down the street in my wheelchair, sippin on gin and juice, laid back, with my mind on my heart meds and my heart meds on my mind…”
A 400lb pregnant woman with a 180 pound husband…Bit the bullet and asked the patient how she got pregnant. Not like how could anyone ever be attracted to her, but simply, mechanically, how does a 400 lb person have sex? And she replied that her mother and her husbands sister used a broom to lift her pannus so she and the husband could have sex. Good luck trying to get that image out of your head…
Post a Comment
Leave a Reply
Why Not Zoidberg
Comments (6)
@GrrShhNguyen - oh and here i thought i was being original
ohhhh dear LORD! why!?! WHY!?!?
YOU ARE EVIL.
I’m punching you in the nuts the next time I see you for that second story.
believe it or not, that’s not the first time I’ve heard of fat people getting pregnant with some retraction assistance from family members. The broomstick is clever though!
Bahahahahaha. Most disgusting thing I’ve ever envisioned. I’m sure I’m accurate too; I used to have to wipe a 500lb woman’s butt when she’d use the commode. GROSS.
NOOOOOOOO