September 29, 2009
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The most disgusting thing you will read today
This weeks contestants for most disturbing patient story:
1)The 45 year old lady with a gc/chlamydia infection in her stoma. For you laypeople, have you ever heard of a colostomy? If not, that is when the surgeons repurpose your intestinal tract so you can poop out your stomach. The stoma is the opening created for this function. Unless of course, you and your husband happen to be kinky-then it’s a brand new opening for intercourse! Also, std’s
Winning Quote: “It’s like anal, but through your bellybutton”
2) The 32 year old female with a vaginal infection who was offered antibiotics. Until her boyfriend stepped in and asked (no I am not making this up, please stop reading here, I mean it, you have only yourself to blame)
Winning Quote: “Actually, can you not give drugs? I kind of like the taste”
3) The 50 year old naked homeless man who comes in complaining of chest pain to get a warm bed and hot meal, and also has scabies. Well, one of the things he has is scabies based on the trademark sign of burrows on his hands. There is also a couple fungal infections, and oh yeah the bugs which are now crawling over the blankets which I cant even identify.
Winning Quote: “I still have those?”
I will be so happy when night float is over
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Why Not Zoidberg
Comments (7)
@GrrShhNguyen - THERE IS A PICTURE BOOK??? oh man that just makes it worse/better
oh man. The colostomy patient booklet they hand out (you know, the one with cartoons) actually tells you not to have sex with the stoma, and I thought, “who does that?!!” Then there was a surgery pt who pimped his stoma out (he was in prison). He eventually died of sepsis.
OMG. That is so equally disgusting and hilarious at the same time. Glad you are finding humor to help survive nf! I will be needing to do the same thing in just a coupla days…
I’ve heard of a prostitute who had a colostomy who was devastated when they closed it. “It’s the only thing I have that the other women don’t. I keeps them coming back to me.”
That taste thing is pretty disgusting though. I’m totally telling that story in class. haha
You just gave me the heebie geebies with this post.
yummy.
eww and eww… >.<