October 11, 2010

• Twenty Four Hour People

  *Hello* *hello* *hello* *hello*

   

  Anyone still out there? If you are consider me impressed. I am clearly going through a “meh” writing phase, mostly because I am out doing things. But every now and again it’s nice to come back to see how everyone is doing and write myself these little reminders of what it is like going through residency.

  So what is it like? I am now a second year resident. I have been keeping this particular iteration of the blog going since my third year of college and for the last 5 years it has been primarily related to my experiences as a burgeoning medical professional. 

  As I have mentioned before, being a resident is a LOT better than being an intern. The general hospital staff have a lot more confidence in you, you have a lot more confidence in yourself and it’s when you finally start to feel just a little like the doctor everyone you know assumed you were from the day you got your acceptance letter to med school. I make decisions about patient care. Yes I have an attending to oversee and discuss those decisions with, but ultimately, the attending is there as my safety net. I am the one seeing the patient every day, writing orders, calling consultants and in general dictating the plan of care. As an intern I was doing a lot of these things as well, but there was almost the feeling at times that I was mostly there to write notes and follow orders. If I didnt know something, I could ask my senior, or my attending, or just assume someone higher than me would have the answer.

  Now, I cant afford to take the luxury of hoping someone else will fix it, when it comes to my patients. In the last year alone, I have diagnosed several people with cancer, others with AIDS, and convinced more families than I care to think about changing their code status. Some of these things would have happened regardless of whether or not I took a leading role. Others only happened because I decided to follow up on something that just didnt feel right. A couple were just dumb luck. But each of those decisions rested solely with me.

  It’s not something you think about at the hospital. You are too busy with writing notes, or catching up with coworkers at lunch, or attending conferences, or working on research. Every moment, even the idle ones are filled with something. It’s not even something you think about that often at home. You are too exhausted and have to do the chores, socialize, make dinner, take care of family if you have them. But every now and again it still hits me how much total strangers place unquestioning faith in my decisions

  And those few quiet moments are the reason that you stay past the work hour restrictions, writing notes 2 hours after you finish. why you come in with pneumonia even though everyone in clinic seems to have taken several days off their jobs for a case of the sniffles. why even in your downtime, you end up discussing journal articles or patients. Because no matter how I claim to be more than just my job, it will still be a large part of my past, and what has shaped my ways of thinking and behavior. 

  In the end, no matter what specialty you have chosen to go into, the truth is that we are always learning, always thinking, always on call, even if it is only to ourselves for the sake of patients we may not even have met yet. Regardless of when the shift ends, we are all still 24-hour people.

  • 1:25 am
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