WARNING! SPOILERS!

So i saw spiderman 3 the other night, and here are some of the thoughts that occurred to me

Where the hell does Peter keep getting all these extra masks from? They get torn off like nobody’s business anytime someone so much as glances at him, and then 2 shots later he has  fresh one

People in that movie are on a LOT of medications…look how many aunt may alone had to take, not to mention JJ jameson and the police chief

For one of spidermans greatest enemies in the comics, venom sure was easy to beat

A lot of problems could have been avoided if harrys butler had mentioned, oh yeah, your father killed himself…woops, didnt you know?

Emo spiderman is freaking HILARIOUS: i want to walk around the city just randomly pointing at people and slick my hair down so i can feel like a badass

I want a button like J Jonah Jamesons secretary had that is not only a buzzer, but shakes the freaking table from a room away

WHy did all the people just kinda hang out watching spidey battle sandman and venom when shit was falling everywhere. freaking new york is full of rubberneckers

Note to eddie brock…i dont think asking god to kill someone because you were humiliated is the proper use of a church. Or maybe it is, i am not read up on my christianity

topher grace made a MUCH better venom than i was expecting

Harry seduced mary jane with an OMELET. Why can’t my life be that easy?
wait a tic…mary jane is a WHORE. Stop kissing him, you tramp, he being a friend, and you betraying peter. painted jezebel

The last couple of scenes were really anticlimactic. allow me to summarize

Sandman: yo spidey, you beat venom, so just so you know, even though i have been trying to kill you, i didnt really want to
SPidey: word?
Sandman: yep. Its just my daughter is sick. Oh, and sorry about killing your uncle dude, totally my bad
Spidey: aw, no worries man, it happens. So you wanna have one more battle
Sandman: naw, we pretty much proved i am invincible. besides, there only 5 minutes left in the movie
SPidey: oh okay, well see ya then
Sandman: peace out

Spidey: dude harry, way to pull through for me there. ANything i can do for you, buddy?
Harry: I’m dying, dickhead
Spidey: Oh. right. Hey sorry about all that stuff before, like ya know, throwing that bomb in your face
Harry: oh that? dont worry bout it man, we cool *dies*

And one excellent point brought up by my bro

Is there ANYONE who doesnt know spidermans identity….every single one of his supervillains finds out who he s and where he lives, that he is in love with mary jane and anythning they need to get him at a weak spot. Not to mention that he is without his mask for at least half of every movie. And already a train full of people saw who he was in the 2nd movie. He might as well just call himself Peter Parker Man

From another friends blog (thx steve!), that just had to be shared, given my love of all memes 300

1 med student against 350 questions.

“The world will know that
free med students stood against a tyrannical licensing board, that one
stood against many, and before this exam was over, that even a
hell-like exam can be passed.”

“Remember these 8 hours, my pencils, for it will be yours for all time.”

“A new age has come: an age of healthcare. And all will know that 1 Medical Student gave his last breath to defend it.”

“Give them nothing! But take from them everything!”

“This is where we hold them! This is where we FIGHT! This is where they DIE!”

“No medical student dies today!”

-J

g0poppy: actually he has much respect for a person who has a zombie contingency plan like he does
coffeeweasel: he and i actually need to discuss this
coffeeweasel: i have been wondering what exactly happens to zombies if they dont get brains
coffeeweasel: nothing negative, based on the movies
coffeeweasel: they just get cranky until they DO get brains
coffeeweasel: except 28 days. then they die of hungy
g0poppy: yeah or else they stop being zombies after a looong while
coffeeweasel: ooh…really?  hmmm…that might call for a new zombie contingency plan

So to briefly expand upon my zombie thoughts from the other day, i just
realized that we dont really know what happens to zombies who don’t get
brains.

Think about it…all these zombie movies, people are running terrified,
b/c if you are bitten, you get infected, become a zombie and then go
questing for the flesh of others, yada yada yada we all know the drill

but only one movie (28 days) has any sort of negative effect for the
zombies…they starve to death. Every other movie (dead alive, evil
dead, resident evil, night of the living dead, dawn of the dead,
zombies ate my neighbors, etc) if the zombies can’t get brains, they
basically…erm…wait until they can get more brains? they get cranky?
WE DON’T KNOW!

your thoughts?

in the meantime…some more ADVENTURES IN AIM!

coffeeweasel: dude, you want to meet someone based on his bong size? that cant be right
xxxxx: well, they guy has a 6 footer
coffeeweasel: so size matters that much to you huh?
xxxxxx: i just bet it would be crazy to take a hit off of
coffeeweasel: i can imagine that convo…excuse me, you dont know me,
but sometimes i look through your window at night and i couldnt help
but notice that you have a huge piece i would love to get my mouth
around…
xxxxxx: i hate you

TaoTeDrew: shall i call you on the phone of triumph tomorrow?
coffeeweasel: better than the phone of sorrow
TaoTeDrew: yes, i do not like that phhone… in fact… why did we even get that phone?
coffeeweasel: name sounded cool
TaoTeDrew: true enough

I went to Whole Foods the other day (or as my bro calls it, the hippie
mart) and purchased some soy yogurt and soy cheese. It is touch being
evolved beyond the need for milk…now i know how the xmen feel.

And speaking of the newest xmen movie *WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD*

here is my opinion: if you can ignore the fact that the story is
terrible horrible and no good, and that brett ratner as a director
sucks at life, the rest of the film is quite enjoyable.
I cheered when cyclops died. No one grew up reading the comics and liking cyclops. The man was a bitch. whipped and a pansy.

Other thoughts i had upon watching xmen 3:

1) angel was totally uneccesary to this movie. All they needed was the
name worthington. Angel did nothing except jump out of a window and
save his father. He didn’t even fight with the xmen. lame.

2) why did logan have to kill jean? Here’s a though…why not stick her
with the mutant cure? or send the mutant nullifying little kid up to
meet her?

3) Where the hell was nightcrawler? he could have popped in, knocked jean on the head, popped out. problem solved

4)for that matter, when did wolverine become invincible? i like him as
much as the next guy, but mutant healing does not cover pieces of your
skin flaking off and immediately growing back

5) beast being a diplomat is good. but it didnt take him that long to
decide to become a warrior again. One minute he says…churchill blah
blah blah…next second…sorry mr pres, i have to retire to rip out
people’s throats

6) the all encompassing climatic battle consisted of 6 xmen versus the
100 or so mutants that magneto could muster? and they WIN? wtf? These
people are not that powerful…the whole point is that xmen and
brotherhood are evenly matched

7) rogue would not have given up her powers…this was covered in both
the comics and the animated series in an episode that features angel
and a supposed *cure* for the mutant gene. An episode, which, if ratner
had watched, he could have expanded into a much better story than he
came up with

8) Professor X in this movie was so out of character ethically it was
ridicoulous and i could not get past it. He would not limit another for
safety w/o their permission, he would not take over the body of a
comatose patient, he would not up and decide scott is unfit to lead the
xmen (really…scott has always been a little bitch, but prof x loves
him)

9) I’m the juggernaut bitch. One of the few things that they did right.
Way to pay attention to your audience. For those of you not in on the
joke, click here and see the real reason the whole theater was laughing

-J

New profile picture! of me! with corn! somewhere in the midwest! its like where’s waldo, redneck edition.

So being all in a funk about the anatomy practical, i decided the only
thing i could do to cheer myself up was to go see a terrible terrible
movie. I am talking so bad its good because clearly no one involved in
the film is taking it seriously. SO what movie did i choose?

Doom. Starring The Rock. I love watching movies with the Rock. they
never fail to bring a smile to my face because hey sometimes you just
dont want to think, you would rather just watch motion and people and
colors and shiny things and yes i am aware that maturity-wise, i am
just  this side of a crack-addled five year old, but you know what?

SO’S YOUR FACE

Anyway, the film was worth every penny i paid to see it ($4 at the
ghetto theater, one of the few advantages middle of nowhere illinois
has over L.A.) and cheered up my whole day. I strongly recommend you go
see it. Hey, it was top box office this weekend, it has to have
something going for it, yesno?

It has recently been brought to my attention that for some reason my
speech patterns contain a larger than normal amount of 50′s lingo. That
is to say, i insert words like tomfoolery, shenanigans, and peachy keen
into my everyday speech. I was not aware i was doing this to such a
great extent people needed to warn me of it, but i am okay with it. I
am NOT my own grandpa, but i do apparently talk like him.

Histo exam coming up on wednesday. This is not to make excuse for my
posting few and far between, just to tell you people because if you are
still coming here and/or subscribing you have at least a passing
interest in what i do with my time. so there you are

Also giving you all random updates on my life gives me a reason to
post, which i now feel oddly compelled to do since Wenyin told me she
has now told more people to read this. like i have to put on my best
face for nonexistent strangers who may or may not check this out, when
i have all you loyal followers here to laugh at my antics.

Be that as it may, whenever i have gone too long without posting i feel
weirdly nervous and when this happens, i tend to make my posts at least
somewhat more narrative and me-based, because narrative is the rubber
raft we cling to when shipwrecked on the textual ocean and the brutal
blinking cursor is beating down on us like the sun, and also on the
raft is that one guy who drank seawater and now he is ranting and loony
and the rest of us are all looking at each other and silently agreeing
to eat him

-J

The Josh is oddly fascinated by cannabalism