Yay! I am living only 4 dollars over the US recommended thrifty food budget, and that is including eating out!

And now time for a super long adventure in AIM with special guest star roninmk!

coffeeweasel: but if we could get all of us for some karaoke and onsen
coffeeweasel: w00t!
coffeeweasel: just like old times!
Roninmk: onsen!?
Roninmk: you guys have fun with that
coffeeweasel: what?
coffeeweasel: no onsen for you?
Roninmk: i'm a conservative american
Roninmk: didn't ya know?
coffeeweasel: from your online musings, looks like you are a sex-crazed inaka girl
coffeeweasel: but what do i know
Roninmk: i think i will pass
coffeeweasel: we will still be having much fin
coffeeweasel: i will go to an onsen with ari then
coffeeweasel: we can let all the japanese ogle our BIG AMERICAN PENIS
coffeeweasel: oh and kyle is in for that weekend
Roninmk: have you told him about the onsen idea?
coffeeweasel: i will let you
Roninmk: hahaha

coffeeweasel: coffeeweasel: mary doesnt want to go to an onsen with us....wonder why?
bigpileofkyle: boobs.
Roninmk: hahaha
Roninmk: ohhh geesh
coffeeweasel: aint nothing the world hasnt seen before, toots
Roninmk: hahaha
Roninmk: true
Roninmk: and when i went to Thailand got a body scrub and some thai chick rubbed my chest down with lotion and stuff
Roninmk: soooooo
Roninmk: i really SHOULDN'T be all that embarrassed
Roninmk: BUT I STILL AM!

coffeeweasel: if it weren't for social conventions, and the fact that
it is something like 20 degrees outside, i would be going naked all the
freakin time

coffeeweasel: woah! hold the phone! some thai chick rubbed your chest with lotion!!!
coffeeweasel: thats hot
Roninmk: hahaha yes : twice
coffeeweasel: well duh, it would have to be twice, unless you have a uniboob
Roninmk: i mean she rubbed lotion on two separate occasions
Roninmk: with two kinds of lotion
coffeeweasel: two separate occasions? so good you went back for more, eh?
Roninmk: no

Roninmk: same time

Roninmk: they wrapped me in some foil

coffeeweasel: one on each hand?
coffeeweasel: i am having a lot of trouble picturing this, so please feel free to be as graphic as possible

Roninmk: shut up

Roninmk: you know EXACTLY what i mean

Roninmk: pervert

Roninmk: hahaha
coffeeweasel: remember, i am a med student and therefore my sex life is lived entirely vicariously through my friends

(back to the onsen!)
Roninmk: but dude...ari and kyle in the same room together naked
Roninmk: hahaha
coffeeweasel: but i digress...you were picturing kyle and ari naked together
coffeeweasel: and yet I am the pervert
Roninmk: i wasn't picturing them naked actually
Roninmk: its possible to do that ya k now
coffeeweasel: no, it's not
coffeeweasel: i am a man...we are visual people
Roninmk: i didn't picture them naked  just together the thought without the picture
coffeeweasel: why would you include nakedness as part of that at all
Roninmk: 'cause its a different circumstance than the normal just hanging out
coffeeweasel: but we would be just hanging out
Roninmk: its hanging out while being naked
Roninmk: NAKED
Roninmk: there is a difference
coffeeweasel: prude
Roninmk: hahaha
Roninmk: proud of it
coffeeweasel: man you need to get over your conventions
coffeeweasel: realize that underneath those clothes, everyone is NAKED
Roninmk: i rather like my conventions
coffeeweasel: NAKED NAKED NAKED
Roninmk: hahaha
Roninmk: yes yes yes i know this
Roninmk: but we also all clothed over our nakedness
coffeeweasel: in frequent and prolonged exposure to japanese people
will cause all of your children to be born *COMPLETELY NAKED*
Roninmk: hahaha

coffeeweasel: haha ari wants to know why you are picturing him naked ;-P
Roninmk: well i hope the three of you have fun frolicking around
coffeeweasel: you need to loosen up
coffeeweasel: take some naked time for mary
Roninmk: josh you are such a gossip
Roninmk: hahaha
Roninmk: Ari just Im'd me
coffeeweasel: i know
coffeeweasel: i told him too

coffeeweasel: you totally get to be my winggirl in japan too
Roninmk: great
coffeeweasel: i know!
coffeeweasel: the favor will be returned if you need it
coffeeweasel: i have played bf before
Roninmk: if we go to a club?
coffeeweasel: was there anywhere else i would need to do it?
Roninmk: not that i can think of
Roninmk: do you have suggestions as to where i would need a bf?
Roninmk: hahaha
coffeeweasel: well we can always take a pic of us together you can travel with
coffeeweasel: and be like, sorry not interested here is my bf
Roninmk: hahaha
Roninmk: that's true
coffeeweasel: so ha!
coffeeweasel: i came up with another reason
Roninmk: you are one smart lad
coffeeweasel: now you just have to help me find 3-4 japanese girls for me to cheat on you with
Roninmk: hahaha
Roninmk: what an awesome bf
Roninmk:
coffeeweasel: hey babe, i'm the king of swing
coffeeweasel: at least we have an open relationship

-J

The Josh can make a woman orgasm simply by pointing at her and saying "booyah"

This equation should be taught in all math classes!
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K (8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11) = 98%

And,

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E (11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5) = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E (1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5) = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T (2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20) = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G (1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7) = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

-J

The Josh is ready to put in 103%

Dude I am totally learning how to read CT's MRI's and Xrays-radiology kicks ass and shall help me greatly with anatomy

sadly however, ultrasound is a touch more difficult

How nice is this? Way to keep the magic alive guys, a big thumbs up from me AND santa/god

Worried about the security of your apartment? want some way to protect yourself from a break in?

It is reported that 50% of people in London are worried about security and sleep with some form of self-defence to hand, for use against intruders. The 'Safe Bedside Table' has a removable leg that acts as a club and a top that doubles as a shield for self-defence. This is for people who are willing to take on an intruder, providing an extra sense of security whilst in bed.

Well, at least it keeps the black knight at bay

Homeland Security: Mini-golf courses are terrorist targets

The Department of Homeland Security's crack squad of anti-terrorist
intelligence analysts have been vigilantly guarding a miniature golf
course near San Jose, California, having identified it as a prime
target for an attack on America. Imagine the symbolism of a miniature
windmill in flames -- truly such would be a spiritual blow from which
America could never recover.

OJ helping to keep terrorists at bay...

Do you miss the old first generation cell phones...the ones the size of a brick you could use to beat people? well, we haven't brought those back yet,
but now you can use this attachement to make your brand new tiny cell
phone into a great big heaping monstrosity again! doubles as a billy
club

You have probably all realized it takes very little to make me happy
and/or distract me. And bearing that in mind, i present the favorite
distraction of the day, a rapping jelly donut. Thank you internet. Thank you.

And that ought to do it for today...until next sudy break folks

-J

All work and no play make homer something something
go crazy?
DOnt mind if I do!

More pics of playing in the snow! I get these up fast for some reason...

Animals are lucky-they never spend their time dividing experience into
little bits and speculating about all the bits they've missed-the whole
panoply of the universe has been expressed neatly to them in terms of
things to

(a) mate with,
(b) eat,
(c) run away from, and
(d) rocks.

This frees the mind from complicated thoughts, like Anatomy studying.
Be that as it may, i still find time to take breaks from studying. So
recently, A few friends and I got together and did a White Elephant
Gift Exchange/Potluck. For those of you unfamiliar with this, the rules
are as follows

1)Every person should go out ahead of time, and purchase a gift of NO
MORE THAN $10. other exchanges i have been too place the limit at 15 or
20, but i find exciting and fun gifts can be found relatively cheaply,
as you will discover later

2) each person should wrap their gift prior to coming so it cannot be
seen what it is, unless their gift is so huge or obvious, there would
be no point to wrapping it

3) when ready to begin, everyone who is participating should draw
numbers out of a hat to determine the order in which they will go

4) now the fun begins! whoever is person number 1 picks a gift from the pile brought by people and unwraps it

5) person number 2 then has the option to either take a gift from the middl themselves, or steal person number 1's gift.

6) if person number one gets their gift stolen, they go back to the pile and select another gift

7)no gift can be stolen more than twice, so if person number three
steals the gift that person number 2 stole from person number 1, then
the gift remains with person number three

8) watch as hilrarity and hijinks ensue as you get down to the final person who will invariably begin a round of stealing

So yes, we had a gift exchange and potluck. Due to foresight on my
part, my gift was a sled (5 dollars from target!) As there was a huge
snowstorm going on outside, we all naturally decided to make use of the
sled that had been given. So it was out into the blizzard and the hills
behind the dorms to make repeated sledding runs into the chain link
fence separating us from the navy base.

The first couple runs did not go very far or fast since the snow wasnt
compressed, but we are medical students and smart, so we quickly packed
down a run and put a ramp at the end of it...then because we are not
THAT smart, we all went down the run in the sled on our bellies,
facefirst into a giant ramp of snow

Of course in the midst of all this, there was also a snowball fight,
and snow tackling going on. Quite a lot of snow tackling actually...you
know how people come back from the beach and complain that sand gets
everywhere?

Snow does too. And it's colder. And it melts.

But good times were had nonetheless and it made for a refreshing study
break. Nothing like coming back from playing in the snow to a warm
shower, a cup of hot cocoa, and 300 pages worth of notes on the
abdomen, pelvis and perineum to learn by friday

-J

Quote of the Day
Why don't you eat some brains? it's always cheered you up before-Ryan, to me, Re: playing Stubbs the Zombie for xbox

What have I done today?

The usual histology time, and checked my email.

Protect your Banana!
brought to you by actual medical professionals. Its good to know that
just because i have grown older doesnt mean they can make me grow up

Wayne Goldsberry is batman level badass. WHo is Wayne goldsberry? just a man who, When an  enraged and none too bright  buck came through the
living room window of his daughter's house, he didn't flee, call the
cops, wimp out and cry, no - he followed it in to a bedroom, shut the
door, and killed it with his bare hands.

I imagine as he went to kill the deer with his hands he said to his wife "Woman, don't get my gun. It will only slow me down." I'm am in no way being snide. It is obvious this man is so manly that his wife's legal name is Woman.

He
must wear plaid and eat spoonfuls of gunpowder while sharpening his
bowie knife on his calloused hands. Not only that - after killing it
he carried it outside in triumphant victory, kicked a midget, knocked
over an elderly person, punched an orphan in the ovaries and then had
the deer butchered

This brings up a legal matter. I'm not sure if it is legal for him to
butcher the deer, but my view is if you can kill a deer with your bare
hands then....

1.) there is no way in hell anyone is going try and stop you from doing much of anything, especially to orphans and midgets.
2.) you should be able to kill all the deer you want and eat them.

Talk about the ultimate bragging rights. No matter what his friends do
they will never top the story of "the time Wayne killed a deer with his
bare hands."

Side note: Doesn't the new Brawny add and slogan seem more like
Brawny has taken an abundance of Enzyte, the natural male
enhancement product? Maybe that is why the brawny fellow is smiling so big. now all of him is brawny

So i just got back from a potluck dinner with my fellow pacemakers (our
school's a cappella group) and oh it was marvelous fun. Many a dish was
sampled and we even played Taboo! But we played it all dorky medical
style, where if the word was allergies, the person was  like beta
blockers, inflammation, and so on and so forth. We tried to work
medical terms into every card.

So random thought: Has anyone out there ever tried something that was
not say specifically designated human food? I mean, i am thinking that
every kid tries pet food at some point in his or her life right? or was
it just me?

I remember i used to eat dog biscuits with butter on them when i was a
little kid, like as a regular snack. I am pretty sure my brother did
too...i believe my reasoning was, hey the dog liked it, it must be good.

I was a stupid child.

But anyway, i was dared the other day after telling this story to eat a
dog treat. Since the stupid child didnt exactly become a smart adult i
agreed. Now the treat decided upon was beggin strips.
You
remember these? The commercial would have a dog running around the
house going BACON BACON BACON BACON BACON! Weird, cuz i do the same
thing.

Beggin' Strips slogan is "Dog's don't know it's not bacon!" Newsflash: Dogs are retarded. Mine used to eat her own vomit, and wag her tail while she did it. I'll be the one to decide if this stuff tastes like bacon or not.

I know these snacks aren't made for human consumption, but while I
was in the store the ingredients list looked pretty tame so I wasn't
too concerned. Somehow I had missed one extremely dubious word sitting
there all by itself. "MEAT". That's all it says... meat.

Meat is a pretty large umbrella. Beef is meat. Pork is meat.
Horses, monkeys, and allegedly Arby's roast beef are meat.

SO long story short, The bitter nastiness literally got worse with every chew, and I was
overcome by the urge to go in the backyard and eat grass until it was
all out of me.

So dont dare me too do stuff please. Temptation is my only weakness

And here is a picture of Indira Gandhi hugging a koala bear, which is on my list of things to do before i die

Wowie zowie i have been so half assed about this thing lately. And
for that I apologize, What with the studying and the working out in the
gym during what used to be my usual blogging time, and not having
comments to respond too, keeping this updated has been hard.

So in a plea for comments and to get this puppy rolling again, if
anyone wants to send me interview questions---serious, wacky, in
between---I will answer them to the best of my ability. I figure this
way i can practice giving one interview while NOT wearing an orange
jumpsuit and trying to look remorseful in front of Diane Sawyer

Those of you who read this and are not xanga members, go ahead and
just email me and I will post question and response. Lets have some fun
with this, eh?

-J

Josh is ready to mojammamatize