why is tonight different from all other nights?

Because it was the first night of passover, which I apparently spent with some of the original jews.

seriously, there were so many old people there I felt like by the time I learned all their names someone would have passed away. Luckily we had an abbreviated ceremony, so it only lasted about 4 hours (THIS IS NOT A JOKE-ASK YOUR LOCAL JEW) During which I did manage to catch most of the championship game between uconn and georgia tech. woot.

I then returned to my house and proceeded to type a japanese paper. Yes, I did have a paper i have to write on the first day of class. I don’t know why that surprises me anymore, i have had stuff to do on the first day for like the last five years of college. Nonetheless, I experienced a few moments of pure unadulterated terror when I set foot in J100C today. The classroom was one i had not been in before! the teacher was not the same as the one from 100A and 100B! She spoke faster than the micromachine man (and props to anyone who remembers that) and there is going to be more kanji i have to learn this quarter than there are people in china. (well, non-chinese people anyway)

I mourn for the loss of my comfortable familiar surroundings. However, maybe the terror i feel at the possibility of failing will drive me to work hard and study to earn the A in this, my FINAL quarter at UCLA. Yep, there is no more putting it off. After the next 10 weeks, the final carefree, happy, no responsibility days of my life will be over. Whether on to grad school, med school, or the gutter, I will have to be much much more responsible in my future life, and that is just a little frightening.

if there’s one thing I’ve never been great at (well, one of many…I will never be a champion scuba diver, for example) it’s been “staying the course” in terms of working on through all challenges until the goal is reached. This is not to say that I can’t do it. I have, but I am much more likely to get deterred and depressed by failure. Perhaps that is why this whole med school things is bothering me. I see people who I feel I am superior to getting accepted into great schools, and succeeding in ways that i can only dream about, while I have yet to even receive positive achknowledgement from a single med school. Perhaps it is a bit egotistical of me, but I honestly do think I am intelligent, and more so than many of my pre-med peers. Therefore, when I am forced to deal with the fact that while I may have had the social life, and extracurriculars, and even the test scores…they had the determination and grades, which is apparently all that matters. This REALLY bothers me. The entire debate about affirmative action becomes much more clear to me in terms of my own personal drama. Admittance and acceptance to possible future life opportunities should NOT be based on grades alone.

or maybe they should and I am just not cut out to be a doctor. I don’t know anymore. I still want to be, but I have my pride and every day that goes by wit another rejection while yet another classmate tells me of their acceptances, well it just eats away at the petty part of my personality.

the truth is, I give up way too easily, which doesn’t say much about my character, and i know there is going to be a day (probaly soon) when that comes back to haunt me. If i’m lucky, i won’t realize it, and then i don’t have to feel like a complete cop out. My life has been like a practice test where I keep peeking at the answers in the back of the book before the test is over-”just to make sure”. The solutions to any question I had -easy or difficult- were always readily available, and if it wasn’t, the problem was not worth my trouble.

I want to make an effort for something, anything. But i want all that effort to be worth the correct answer, not just some experience that will build character-all that is is more disappointment and failed expectations. Too bad there is no partial credit in the test of life

Sometimes I yearn for the hunter-gatherer days when all the questions were simple, but the answers were hard. I wonder how I would have fit into that society?

i’m gonna guess something like that

-Josh

“Sometimes you wake up. Sometimes, the fall kills you. But sometimes, you FLY.”-Sandman
“I just wanna fly”-Sugar Ray

Why is wendy sleeping on the floor? Because she lost her couch in a poker game. I wonder what she is dreaming about? Probably gambling, you silly fiend you

So the trip to SF was tremendous, and I have many pics, which i will post…eventually.

People have taken self esteem way too far. Understandably, you shouldn’t tell a child they are stupid or ugly, but neither should you delude everyone on earth into thinking that they are supermodels either. Walking through the mall today, I noticed several girls wearing things that they definetly shouldn’t be; shirts cut to show off the belly button, that instead show the whole pot belly, mini-skirts that ride up to reveal huge asses. There should clearly be a line drawn for deceny’s sake, if nothing else. These people (and I AM singling them out)should not be wearing tight or revealing clothes. Forget about the fact you are grossing the general public out for a moment and simply have some self respect…you don’t look good in it, regardless of what mommy and daddy may have told you as a child. They don’t make things in certain sizes for a reason. It is quite possible to have self esteem, without feeling the need to call everyone’s attention to it. Look good in something that looks good on you, not on someone half your weight and twice your height.  Take a look in the mirror. Not everyone is a pretty and unique snowflake. If you do not have the body to wear something, do everyone a favor and don’t wear it.

Tomorrow to Frisco. Yay for road trips!

Hmm. Well aside from the continuous downward spiral that is my medical school applications process, nothing much has been going on lately. Finals done, still working at the ophthalmologists. I may be potentially founding with two others a care extender-like program at a different hospital, which will help my applications next year, so that would be good.

Winner of the Week. Education:

Despite the testing, despite the homework, despite everything that we complain about as students, there is no denying that an education is a fun and useful thing to have. I love learning, and if i could would be a professional student (although this option is looking more and more likely as more med schools respond to me). However, the sheer amount of knowledge available, the endless possibilities and untold new discoveries and inventions waiting to be made are just incredible. Education is one of the best things that the human race has conceived on its path to civilization

Loser of the Week: Grades

While education is fantastic, the cuthroat competition for numbers that it has since become is most assuredly not. When education first became a part of humanity, it was traits for survival, such as that plant is good to eat, or don’t poke the saber toothed kitty. Members who did not learn these lessons were very quickly removed from the educational system, often rather permanently. However, you did not see oog and ugg the caveman staying up all night trying to figure out which end of the kitty not to poke so professor grog would give them letter values that would ultimately settle their position as hunter or gatherer in society. It was simply understood.

Later, education became a bit more formalized, and young people would apprentice to masters to learn a vocation. The hours were long, and there was little to no pay, but teachers would provide you with room, board, and office hours 24-7. Occasional guildmasters would take on more than one apprentice, and squires biff and boff would help each other, because they both would be assured jobs either way, having been taught a useful skill. Also, not being able to read, assigning letter grades to a performance would have been utterly ridiculous, as what is the real difference between a bakers A pastry or B pastry? exactly. Muffin

Nowadays, everything students are taught is evaluated in an abstract manner. And that manner of evaulation has become more important than the information being imparted, because the higher level universities and corporations only look at the applicants numbers. And those numbers, regardless of the difficulty of courses chosen, or background of the student taking those courses, those numbers arbitrarily assigned based on a given person’s ability to memorize and regurgitate other numbers or bullshit compositions, those numbers which everyone accepts but no one questions the origins of, are what ultimately determines the future course of many a person’s life.

Now I am not saying grades are wholey unimportant. But i don’t think they should rate as the be-all and end all of your future. There should be tests which actually assess your practical ability to do the job you wish to accomplish. Grades should be a part of it, but they should be a lesser part than say experience and background

Or maybe I just saying this because I have low grades. But whatever It’s my xanga, and I’ll type what I want to

So I took Caroline, my beautiful and talented g/f to a loyola scholars meeting thingy. This was a chance for her to meet a bunch of staff and students who were also scholars. She btw received a full ride to their law school. I can’t recall the last time I have ever been made to feel to dumb, even if unintentionally. I talked with several people, and while they thought I was also a scholar (that is to say, until they noticed I had no nametag) they were all very friendly, and informative and propagandizing. Once we reached a point in the conversation where it became apparent I was a mere fixture to Caroline, I suddenly became invisible, oftentimes right in the middle of a conversation. Two examples. One judge, post finding out my status, I asked him a question and received a look that essentially said “If you were a law scholar, you would know how stupid you just sounded, and be utterly ashamed, or at least intelligent enough to realize how ashamed you should be. But your not” What he actually said was “oh that’s interesting” and turned away to speak with Caroline. Which is good, since she is the one who needs the info, but ouch for me. Even better when we were talking with some current Loyola students, or more accurately while Caroline was talking and I was smiling and nodding, The dean came over and introduced himself to each student, subtly glancing at the nametage to congratulate him. It sounded something like this

Dean: Hey nathan , I’m Dean Whatever, great to meet you hope to see you in august…any questions about the program
Nathan: None sir, thanks.
Dean: Hey Caroline, I’m Dean Whatever, a pleasure to meet you, is there anything you would like to know?
Caroline: Um, actually most of my questions have been answered
Dean: Great! Hope to see you in august. Hey (pause while he notes my lack of a nametag), you’re attached to Caroline?
Me: Yes, it’s nice to —
Dean: good for you (turns away)

Right then. It’s a good thing I am not having any self-esteem issues.

Some pics and details of the SF trip to come…til then

-Josh

“College is a fountain of knowledge, and the students are there to drink”

You’re Fiji!
As calm, relaxed, and removed from life as they come, you’re just so chilled out, it hurts people to see you.  Everyone aspires to be where you are, but most of them just can’t put their stress away.  Little do they know that even you sometimes have inner turmoil and struggles!  For the most part, though, it’s sun and fun for you, and that’s the way you like it.  It’s just sort of hard to get things done with all that partying.

http://bluepyramid.org/ia/cquiz.htm

That has got to be one of the funniest quizzes I have taken online in at least a week. What else has gone on in that week…hmm. Well I need to put together another stand up set for april, probably last weekend of, for the next comedy show I intend to do. I have been studying like a crackfiend for Japanese, and I have been basking in the comments that ranting a little grants me. Would you like me to rant…give me topics to rant about. If i feel strongly, enough you will get a rant on your behalf! Woot for you.

Having passed through despair and come out the other side into the sunny vegetation of “Plan B”, I am in the midst of preparing several grad school applications. Tehcnically the schools I am applying to are all special masters programs desgined for those who , for whatever, reason were unable to make it into a medical school. What caused me to make this decision? Okay well that is obvious. But what caused me to actually act on it.

As of March 15th, according to AMCAS, over 80% of U.S. Medical Schools have filled their fall classes. This means that the majority of med schools have sent out the majority of acceptances that they are going to, and if you have not heard from them by this point, you are probably not likely too. Once this was brought to my attention, I realized that while I am still waiting to hear from 5 medical schools, they are not waiting to hear from me and if I have any intention of becoming a doctor, I am going to have to find some alternative route to accomplish it. If these programs get me in, then so be it, I will do what I need to to succeed.

Rafiki was excited when he found an acceptance letter to med school after checking his tree-mail

Sorry if that last caption seemed a little wooden…i will endeavor to leave such puns out of my web…log. Or not.

So, long story short, I will remain Fiji, and continue on my way with my Hakuna Matata attitude. The only person I have to live up to the expectations to is myself…and Batman.

St Patricks Day is Tomorrow, and I am going to strategically position my green articles of clothing so i can best evaulate my pinching options. Until then, this post be through

-J

“We’d love to support the girl scouts, but we’re on a diet”
“That’s okay, you girls can just buy the thin mints”

Funniest part of this post’s quote? It was a real argument in a sorority at UCLA. *sigh* never understimate people’s stupidity

WINNER OF THE WEEK: Hybrid Cars. I love the new hybrids. Healthier for the environment than your average gas-powered car, less gay than every electric car, but most importantly insanely efficient gas mileage! You can now tool around and only have to fill up once a week. The best hybrids at the moment are supposed to be the toyota primus, and although i am a fan of the honda, toyota’s whole line is supposed to be hybrid-ized by 2008, vans and all

LOSER OF THE WEEK: SUV’s, or stupid, useless vehicles. The basic concept behind the SUV is that driving a car that is higher off the ground and larger than an average car makes your driving experience safer….unless of course you happen to be anyone else on the road to which if an SUV hits you, more damage, not less is done in any sort of collision. As if that wasn’t enough, SUV’s have the most technical problems of any standard consumer vehicle (Ford Exploders, anyone?), cost an insane amount of money at already sky-high gas prices to obtain absolutely no mileage whatsoever, and they flat out are not necessary for the majority of people who drive them. Who is driving the SUV, you may ask? Here are the main types of SUV drivers

1. Rebelling Soccer Moms: The Rebelling Soccer Mom used to drive a minivan, until she was out in the hot sun at one soccer practive too many and suddenly thought that she had become her children’s age again. At this point, she began to wear too shoort clothes, apply too much make-up, and pretend that she is “hip” and “with” the latest trends. To support this not-quite-midlife crisis, she had to obtain a new vehicle that would not identify her as a *gasp* mother running errands, but instead a hot, powerful woman who is active in life outside of her chauffering career.

2. The Tiny Asian Girl: Ever heard the phrase “size doesn’t matter”? Well as any women will tell you, it’s a lie. However, that carries a converse for women. The tiny asian girl suv owner is compensating not only for her petite stature, but also for years and years of cultural subserviance. They may have been taught that to obey everyone higher in social situations, but on the road in the automated monstrosity that is an SUV, they dominate the lanes. Anyone tryong to get ahead of these girls is in for some serious shit as there is a lot of unconscious rage being unleashed.

3. The Spoiled Valley Girl: Like OMG, My daddykins totally promised me a new car for my b-day and I know he couldn’t possibly dream in putting me in anything other than a car that like reflects not only my societal status, but also how I go through life: totally chaotic/unpredictable, and requiring like ooodles of money to keep in good condition, lest my various pieces start to fall apart. And of course I like HAVE to have all the spiffy extras, lol *wink* like the cell phone charger, lipstick holder, and power thinking options. I mean, what if It was Jeeve’s day off, and I had to take myself to the mall? you wouldn’t want me to be like totally mortified would you?

4. The EXTREME Mountain Dew Guy: This is probably the only one of the types that has a reason for driving an SUV, but sadly lacks the brain cells to use it. The mountain dew guy can be found with various seasonal sports equipment taking up the back of the SUV, which will always smell like sweat and gatorade no matter how many times it’s washed. You can tell the extreme mountain dew guy on the road becuase he will be zipping in and out of lanes bobbing and weaving like Muhammed Ali, or possibly Michael J Fox, with the window rolled down and linkin park blaring out of the radio as he tosses back a can of something with one hand and punching his buddies with the other while driving with his knees

SO the moral of this week is: Don’t Drive an SUV…it makes you look like an idiot, and you are a danger to us all, not to mention the enviroment. At least, until toyota makes a hybrid SUV. Then you will just be plain old stupid

Finals coming up next week. Too many kanji to learn and not enough time to do them. Why oh why did the Japanese have to take the chinese writing system. I am going to write the country a letter

Dear Japan,

what the fuck?

Love,
Josh

in the meantime there will be tremendous studying which will in all probablilty not affect my blogging in the slightest. On a side note I would like to add that as I predicted, once I stopped whining and bitching, the comments and eprops stopped being posted. Grr. I don’t mind being your clown , but it’s nice to know there’s an audience out there somewhere. Help me get my xanga on the featured content…start making with the comments, peepz!

In good news, i managed to get another copy of my comedy show on tape, with workin sound, and I may be able to get SUNY Brooklyn to accept my letters and continue evaluating me. In the meantime, back to finals and what not

Poor Edward never made it past the first round

-J

“First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women”
“and then my son, the women take they money and the power from you”

Eww…I am sensing a pessimistic, quasi-depressive mood coming on. Perhaps a diet coke of depression…just one calorie, not quite depression enough. A quote appropriately taken from Dr. Evil,  a title I am beginning to suspect may be a long time in coming for me. Apparently, UCLA has fucked up my letters of rec again, this time with SUNY Brooklyn. I paid my 25 dollars to ensure that the letters would be sent (priority no less, they are supposed to guarantee delivery), and on the website, it says the letters have been sent. However, i received a letter yesterday from SUNY notifying me that because they had not received my letters as of yet, my application was incomplete, and therefore terminated. I received this letter yesterday. I had my letters sent PRIORITY FUCKING DELIVERED IN THREE DAYS MAIL as of gee, oh, what was it again , yeah that’s right FUCKING NOVEMBER. So everyone can clearly understand my unspeakable rage and disappointment in UCLA, they pulled thi shit with my letters to Loyola Chicago as well, but I caught it, and forced them to call the school up and accept my application since UCLA was the one at fault.

Now here is the kicker. UCLA has now not only robbed me of $25 for the letters, but another $80 to mail a secondary application which is now void, and a possible interview that they may ave granted me had they reviewed my application had it arrived complete and on time. Now the way things are going lately, it is doubtful that I would have gotten anything other than a rejection from the school, but that is beside the point…their inept bungling, the conga line of idiocy that makes up the beauracratic system of UCLA has screwed me out of a possible acceptance to medical school.

But wait there’s more…who is to blame for all this? According to my mother, ME. Yes that’s right, as a medical student hopeful, it is my responsibility to track the status of my application and my incomplete application (caused apparently by me paying UCLA to send my letters somewhere and foolishly assuming that they would do it, being as how that is what the letter of rec service is for,) this is all my fault as I am too apathetic, pessimisstic, insert derogatory term of your choice to give a damn about how my life turns out.

Yes, thank you mother, i needed to hear that. Coz the rest of the application process is going ever so hunky dory for me right now. I have been too apathetic to send out over 25 applications to schools which, except for 7 i have yet to hear from have denied me even an interview much less an acceptance. I have been far too apathetic to seek out professors, employers, and coworkers to provide me with letters of recommendation detailing my extracurricular exploits. I have been far too lazy to study my ass off for the MCATs to the exclusion of schoolwork and grades, lowering my GPA, which is apparently all the med schools care about. I have been such a bum the last 4 years of my pre-medical career with all the classes that i guess i just slept through to get my B’s. And you know, given all that laziness i have had in my goals to become a medical practitioner, I suppose it only follows that I should be optimistic…after all, pessimism is only excusable if you have been working for some goal which you see denied you at every turn. How silly of me. What was I thinking?

No one can ever truly understand what goes on inside an individuals mind.

However, I did get a little chuckle out of the latest UCLA scandal. Yes, yes, I am a bruin right now and all that, but I have never been a big person on school spirit, and even less so once they rejected my ass for medical school, and lately screwed up my chances of going to others. SO what is the scandal?

Well a large number of kind, considerate people will, upon their death, indicate that they wish to donate their bodies to science for the greater understanding of mankind. And UCLA, kind caring, instititution that it ishas spent the better part of who knows how may years selling off those body parts for money.

…

I had to take a brief pause from xangaing to get a lecture from my parents again on how i have no ambition, drive, don’t really want to be a doctor, etc, they have invested so much money in me and it is all going to waste, yada yada yada, long story short I am a horrible human being. I think i need some time to myself to figure out what i want to do with my life, as no one, including me anymore, thinks i am going to get accepted this year, if ever.

…

and here my g/f’s in the past have all complained about me being emotionally reticent, and unable to share what i am thinking…

{no funny pic this time…too busy being angry/upset/perhaps apathetic…whatever}

-Josh

“I didn’t go to evil medical school for 7 years to be called ‘mister’”
“and I didn’t go at all”

I am having a definite zen moment today, when i am aware of all things in balance.

To begin. Last night was my stand up comedy performance at the comedy union. It felt great to be back in front of the brick wall again. I came about 30 minutes before the show started, gave the booker my headshot and business card. Then i went to the green room where i proceeded to have my usual nervous breakdown before going onstage. I tried to watch a few of the other comics, but i was too busy rehearsing my set in my head, and watching to see who shoed up for me. When I finally went up, the jitters evaporated, as they always do, and i did my thing. According to audience feedback, i began a little too fast, but after a joke or two hit my rhythm. I am overjoyed to tell all y’all that last night, I was on fire. My jokes were hitting 9 of 10 times, I had some great improv moments, and the whole audience was laughing at my routine, not just the people I brought. I know i can be funny, but i is always nice to have it validated especially by a room full of people who have no reason to have to support you (minus caroline and my family of course) According to a large number of the people i talked to, I was the best comic of the night they saw. That is an AWESOME feeling, especially when the people telling it to you are not just friends, but other comics. Woot. Go me! Even better, I got paid over 100 bucks for 10 minutes of stage time, and money don’t come easier than that. The best feeling however was having friends who came out to see me, and had all the things I had told them validated. After the show, a large group of us walked down the street to the nearby Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles

where i went all guerrilla photography to get the lovely caroline and kei,

friends, sean, suhag, and puja

again, kei, accompanied this time by wendy and kyle, with kyle’s japanese blood coming through and creating the peace sign automatically with his fingers whenever the a camera is detected. Why do the japanese do this? nobody knows.

ari, colleen, and tom, who managed to be the one person in every group who blinks when a pic is taken…or perhaps he is just perpetually shifty looking and squinty…could be either

Me and my gorgeous girlfriend, who i am sure hates how she looks in this picture. This is a woman thing

In case you are wondering, Kyle, henceforth known as “The Man” or “Captain” to Carolin, is taking a shot of syrup. Maple syrup. Non-alcoholic content, meant for the fried chicken and waffles, done on a dare shot of syrup. And he did it to thunderous applause from the table, and the perplexity of the remainder of Roscoe’s. Way to go Man.

So that was the good. Today, I also helped caroline move into her new apartment. It was fun. Then upon returning home, I got the talk from my dad. No, not THAT talk. The one where he begins to ask me what I am going to do with my life if this whole med school thing doesn’t work out. Yes, I have reached the point in my life where now my parents doubt I will be accepted somewhere. So it’s time to look at other options…perhaps I should do the JET program. I would really like to go back to Japan, but it would mean putting off hopes of becoming a doctor for at least two years. Of course, it’s not like I am getting much encouragement for doctoring from med schools at the moment, so maybe I should. Bleh. How depressing. I can’t even complain about my life sucking, because it doesn’t. I just am not apparently good enough to become a doctor. Not the end of anyone’s world, not even mine. Looks like its time to get ready to re-evaluate my life and find something else i enjoy doing, or plan on some other way of achieving the science goal. Anyway too much rambling

To make up for my depressing little monologue, here is an excerpt from My brothers western civilization paper on what ancient society he would live in. He got an A on this paper, keep in mind

“Socially, Greece was superior as Men could do anything they wanted and women knew their place in the kitchen and at home. In Mesopotamia, women had no power. They did what they were told and were expected to follow orders. They had the right idea. In egypt, women had too much power. They had equal rites as men, and some even became rulers, like Nefertiti and Hatshepsut. These women, while appearing to do well did not. Only men are capable of such thought and responsibility. That is why Greece had great rulers like pericles. In greece, men voted, did battle, and did everything needed to keep society running. Our women are around to produce more warriors and take care of the home, the kids, and the slaves.”

because hey, who ISN’T a fan of clergy molestation humor. Maybe they can watch this at the Michael Jackson-R. Kelley Center for Troubled Tots and Teens

-Josh

“So Martha’s going to Jail eh? I can’t wait to see what she does with her cell”

So…I realize i have mentioned this on several occasions, but many of my entries appear to start with so. I nee something more creative. Perhaps a theme song and/or epic intro

nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah….*BATMAN!*…erm….*RVEBLADE*

Continuing on in the saga of the epic life of our skinny, pale protagonist…

I received med school rejection letter numero 5 today. That means I have only 11 more schools left to hear from until I am officially a bum. However, all hope is not lost. Out of 20 schools, i should receive 3-5 interviews or about 1 for every 5 schools i apply to. I will not start to panic until i have been rejected by exactly half the schools without receiving any indication that i am a worthwhile human being. However, I must admit this constant rejection is frustrating. Last time i got this many shutdowns, I was looking for a date

However, one irritating fact is this. Far Far Far too much importance is placed on the GPA. Many schools will tell you they look at a diverse number of factors. This is an outright lie, unless you are a diversity requirement filler yourself. Not too say that good test scores and numerous leadership and volunteer activities hurt my applications…far from it. However, since i do not have the sparkling, lemony fresh 3.8 and above GPA produced by your standard pre-med applicant, my pleas for acceptance all too often fall on deaf ears. I happen to know for a fact that several of the people I went to highschool with cheated on numerous exams throughout college to maintain such sparkling grades, and i would not be in the least surprised to learn they cheated on their MCAT’s as well. One of those peope is currently enrolled in harvard medical school, and the other is in St. Louis. Both excellent schools, both welcoming with open arms people who in a fair world would not be allowed within 20 feet of any position of authority or influence. Yet here i sit, having done everything i was told would make me a good applicant and more besides, and all i have to show for it is the same empty smile and congratulations offered to every other friend who tells me almost daily of their acceptance to this or that school while I still have yet to receive an interview. There is an important lesson in this fact. it is this

LIFE IS NOT FAIR

many people seem to forget this. many more seem to expect it. I am sorry to disillusion you. All too often it is the villain who prevails, the idiot who gets the praise, the sycophant who receives the recognition, and people who quietly sat waiting for their just desserts receive just nothing. In the long run, I would like to believe that karma will ensure the people will get what is coming to them. In the short run, it doesn’t matter at all, aside from serving to illuminate the one key rule stated above.

Aside from that minor setback, got to party with capoeira people over the weekend, and play poker with wendy and other folks as well. Poker is monjo fun and the more peepz the better. There is something just so relaxing about gambling…a scary thought, i know. Capoeira wise, as soon as my lazy (and poor) ass gets to studio, i should start improving…thank goodness for capoeira which provides an outlet for the occasional negative energy i generate…and thanks even more to all the capoeira people who it is impossible to maintain any sort of bad mood around. There is no arguing with that muh friendliness and good cheer. none. at all. so ha.

My collection of swords and daggers is growing by leaps and bounds, and i am sooo happy…i need to put a pic of it up at some point, I love my pointy things.

In direct contradiction to all of my previously statements over the years, I am now actually considering getting a tattoo. Why? I honestly don’t know…I just like the idea. I not going to do it at least until i graduate, in case it is a phase i am going through…but if i do…it will be japanese kanji and either integrity, honor, wisdom, or ghost. For anyone wondering, ghost becuase it has been a name that has followed me for a looong looong time through track, raving, and even capoeira (Fantasma)…due to my paleness. Also, the kanji for it looks damn cool. And to go along with the ink, i would desperately like a motorcycle…which is NOT a phase, as I have wanted one for the last 5 years, but have been expressly forbidden from purchasing one while living under my parents roof…

I am whiny today…scuse me while i go smack myself. Otherwise…happy thoughts and good times to all

-Josh

“Her eyes were cold and harsh….which made them tough to chew”

Where did the phrase…Iworked hard as a dog arise? Dogs don’t work! My dog sleeps all day,except for brief periods when she chews on my arm. I go to donate blood, and the people think I am some sort of heroin addict becuase of all the track marks from her teeth.

So the countdown until Skydiving day begins once again. Last time I went, it kicked tremendous booty, and i fully expect it to do so again. I am even considering getting my parachuting license so i don’t have to go tandem. A thought which thrills my parents, I am sure. Perhaps I will even get around to changing my profile pic…but then again probably not. Sept 14, folkz…lemme know if you down to go

www.skydivesantabarbara.com

The RIAA lawsuits are stupid. If the recording industry weren’t so greedy, I wouldn’t have to pirate music. Who wants to spend $20+ for a cd which you have only heard one song on at best, and the rest will probably be craptacular. The people are all hypocrites too. Most of these lawsuits will not prosecute if you onlw downloading a few songs, it has to be in the hundreds. You know why…coz the more you download, the more likely it is that you are getting one particular artist. “I’m against it, but only when it affects me…”That’s right, Lars…I’m looking in your direction.

Same goes for downloading movies…start making movies that it is worth paying 10-15 dollars to see, and then maybe i will stop downloading from the computer. Once corporate america accepts that the internet makes it harder for them to rip people off, this will be a much happier world.

Chilling with Caroline is tremendous becuase she has the same sick and twisted mind as I do…a scary thought to those of you who know me. We have been slowly working our way through all the horror movie classics…like a fond walk down the memory lane (or is it elm street) of my childhood. Jason, Chucky, Freddy, Pinhead, Mike Meyers (not the canadian), the exorcist, poltergeist, the omen, puppetmaster, candyman, leatherface and all the other horror films of the 80′s and 90′s. Looking back, the sheer number of horror films i have watched probably has something do with my morbid sense of humor and desensitization to injury. Or maybe I was just a strange puppy from the beginning…either way, too late now

Thought for the day: perhaps I should find a new gimmick than the moral of the story…

Moral of the Story:…nah