I know, I know, i need to post pictures…and i will. but i have been
way more exahusted the last couple days than i can account for and just
need to sleep…so instead here is my usual random distractions to
disguise the fact i have nothing to post

and dude, charles looks like some serious beef jerky…someone forgot
to re douse him in formaldehyde while we were on break…and few things
are worse than having to try and dissect a dried up cadaver

oh well. in the meantime here is some random quiz pulled from myspace because i am bored.

1. How old were you when you got your first real kiss?  all
kisses are real…but if you mean from a peer of the opposite sex, that
would probably be around 7th grade from  alison lowry my then
long-term girlfriend of like a whole week!

2. How do you flush the toilet in public? why do these surveys
always have these stupid kinds of questions on this… do people really
want to know this stuff? with my foot…i’m a nerd

3. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
the way i drive, it would be foolish not too (that one’s for you drew!)

4. Do you have a crush on someone?
yes, and her name is medicine.

5. Name one thing that you start to get tense about if you are close to running out of it: talent

6. What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble? myself, or my brother when  he becomes famous

7. What is your favorite pizza topping? since i dont eat pizza, that would be absolutely nothing

8. Finish this sentence: In 5 years from now, I will: be an honest
to goodness actual doctor and just starting to pay off my
loans…yippee skippee

9. Do you crack your knuckles? my knuckles, my back, my legs, my neck…for 24 years old, i am falling apart

10. What song do you hate the most when it gets stuck in your head?
any song that i only know the chorus too, because to get a song out of
my head i must sing it in its entirety . Wierd fact about me. right now
though, banana phone is in my head. RING RING RING RING RING BANANA
PHONE!

11. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head? RING RING RING RING RING BANANA PHONE!

12. What are your super powers? much like batman, i dont need 
any. however teleportation would certainly make traveling cheaper

13. Peppermint or spearmint? what, schnapps?

14. Where are your car keys? on my desk, next to naruto and wolverine so no one tries to steal my car

15. Who’s answers to this questionnaire do you want to hear?
anyone’s…mary jenn, and kelly because it is fun to tag them. but really, anyone who reads it, i am intereted in your response

16. What’s your most annoying habit?
being so damn charming. and
whistling, apparently. people are irritated by my constant whistling
for no good reason other than happiness

17.Where did you last go on vacation?
japan (well, in a month) before that…um  new york

18. If you could punch one person in the nose and get away with it,
who would it be?oh geez, where to start…how about with ashton
kutcher…punk’d bitch! now get the hell off the television

19. What is your best physical feature?
what isn’t?

21. What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?
pasta,  soy milk, rice

22. What superstition do you believe/practice?
-kiss the tips of my fingers and touch them to the ceiling when drving through yellow light,
-must listen to eye of the tiger before any exam, or doomed to fail
(not guaranteed to do well if i do listen, just doomed to fail if i
dont)
-happy thoughts keep the plane up
-tossing salt over your shoulder if you spill some
-keep a gree k charm in my car to ward off evil eye
-all new cars must have their first couple passengers throw in 18 cents
for good luck…this money is never to leave the car or bad things will
happen

I am a superstitious mofo. But since there were three car references in that quiz, here is the best jeep commercial ever. Bonus points for wacky porn, jeep!

and something as hair raising and equally disturbing as that last commercial was titillating (ha! i made a pun!)

-J

The Josh will be here all week ladies and gents, try the chicken, its delicious!

hey
folks, i apparently have gained some new subscribers and so i figured i
would do another one of these little timewasters so you could know more
about the person who warped thoughts you have decided to read…anyone
who has had to suffer through this before, just move on to the next
entry

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE

Name:   The Josh

Birth date:  may 17, 1981

Birthplace:  new york city

Current Location:   BFE, aka north chicago

Eye Color:   brown, cuz i’m so full of it. charm, that is

Hair Color:   brown

Righty or Lefty:  left fo sho

Zodiac Sign: taurus

 

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE

Your heritage:  hahaha i am a mutt : russian greek italian mexican, possibly some irish, honorary indian and honorary asian

Shoes you wore today: haven’t worn shoes for like three days…havent left apartment

Your weakness:  temptation

Your fears: failing…nothing frightens me as much as that…except maybe clowns

Your perfect pizza: one withouth the bread, sauce, cheese, or toppings

Goal you’d like to achieve:  being content and happy no matter where i am or what i’m doing…actually, i pretty much do that now

 

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW

Your most overused phrase on AIM:  nutbunnies

Your thoughts first waking up:  congratulations! you have another chance

Your best physical feature: so many to pick from…erm…lets say my winning smile

Your bedtime: whenever i’m tired…so usually around midnight

Your most missed memory:  memories are made so you dont miss things

 

LAYER FOUR: YOUR PICK

Pepsi or Coke:   dont drink soda

McDonald’s or Burger King:   dont eat burgers

Single or group dates: in med school, so not going on dates

Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: neither, they both taste terrible

Chocolate or vanilla:  more of a strawberry man

Cappuccino or coffee:  dont drink coffee anymore (and never did thank you for that Angela)

 

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?

Smoke: the occasional hookah or cigar

Cuss: less than i used to since utilizing butters curse words

Single: do i single? what the hell kind of question is that?

Take a shower everyday:  any day i work out…so every couple days

Think you’ve been in love: yep

Like(d) high school:   damn skippy i did

Want to get married:  yup

Believe in yourself:   of course…who else would believe in me? The Josh does not have the staying power of santa claus, people

Get motion sickness:  whenever I am not driving or in shotgun…

Think you’re a health freak:  no, but i am pretty good about what i eat…except for fried chicken

Get along with your parents: pretty well yah

Like thunderstorms: yes!   

Play an instrument: used to play piano…otherwise, just the capoeira instruments

 

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH

Drank alcohol: oh hell yes

Done a drug: oh hell yes

Gone on a date: 

Gone to the mall:  to study…

Been on stage: every chance i get

Eaten an entire box of Oreos:  nope

Eaten sushi: nope, but as soon as i get back to cali…

Been dumped: nope

Gone skating: where?

Gone skinny dipping: no, why would i do that?  besides, everything is frozen here…

Dyed your hair: not since undergrad…but maybe i should bleach my head again…what say you internet land?

Stolen anything: the show

 

LAYER SEVEN: EVER

Played a game that required removal of clothing: of course

Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: and how

Been caught “doing something”:  like what? rocking out to nsync? i’ve been caught doing lots of things. what the hell kind of cop out question is this

Been called a tease: never…just like the mailman i always deliver

Gotten beaten up: i dont start fights…i finish them

Shoplifted: uh…when i was younger

Changed who you were to fit in: nope…people change to fit ME

 

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLDER

Age you hope to be married:  *shrugs* whenver it happens

Numbers of Children: more than 1, past that didnt really think it out…making them is more fun anyway

Describe
your dream wedding: oh that is so future hypothetical wife’s domain it
is not even funny…my only role will be to show up in the monkey suit

How do you want to die: however my number comes up

What
country would you most like to visit: all of them…still working my way through asia currently

 

LAYER NINE: IN A GUY/GIRL

Best eye color?: hazel or green

Best hair color?   brunette fo sho

Short or long hair: long. long. long. there are maybe 3 women on earth who look better with short hair than long..

Height: doesnt matter as long as it slightly shorter than me

Best first date location: anything interactive….coffee, mini golf, museum, etc

Articles of clothing: ??? i dont get it

 

LAYER TEN: IN THE NUMBERS

Number
of people I could trust with my life: everyone…people all rely on
each other whether you realize it or not. Doesn’t mean i have to like
em all though

Number of CD’s I own: erm…dont know they all on my mp3 player now

Number of piercings: none

Number of tattoos: none yet

Number of times my name has appeared in the Newspaper?: no idea…don’t keep track of these things…

Nmber of scars on my body: so, so many

Number of things in my past that I regret: none…they all helped to make me who i am today even the stupid ones

-J

Yes another
meaningless quiz to fill my hours instead of the studying i should be
doing. Put the first and last you can remember, according to the
question, and if you dont have an answer, or dont want to put the real
answer, at least put in something amusing. The First and last person
who read this are supposed to repost it, but i think we all know how
well that goes so how about if it amuses you, repost on your site,
mmmkay?

Everyone has their firsts..

First best friend: latonya (my interracial crib and playmate in NY-i was a player from an early age)

First school: Erm in NY someplace with a jungle gym in the hallway, in LA pinecrest kindergarten

First concert:Dave Matthews band at um glen helen pavilion i think

First screen name: coffeeweasel, and it remains so to this day

First funeral: My grandma’s…

First scar: The one that give me the evil eyebrow from when i fell
into a fire hydrant and split open my head trying to walk our dog (in
my defense i was 2 and had not quite mastered locomotion)

First pet: Chin the pekinese, short for Chairman Chin-Chow Yowie Yap (no, i am not kidding)

First piercing/tattoo: nope, no holes or graffiti in my temple…yet

First big trip: When I moved to california from new york

First flight: new york to florida

First time out of the country: not counting mexico? The post high
school graduation trip to london, athens, milan, andsomewhere in
switzerland with my family

First job: parking lot security guard at valley indoor swapmeet. Man did that job suck

First kiss: somewhere in 6th grade with my first g/f, a long term relationship that spanned almost 2 whole weeks

First true love: erm…undergrad? i dont know

First time you had sex?: i am going to have see some comments if you folks really want to know this one…

EVERYONE ALSO HAS THEIR LASTS…

Last person you hugged: My little brother

Last song you heard: It’s gonna be me by Nsync (STOP JUDGING ME! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH POP MUSIC!!! :-p)

Last car ride: 2 weeks ago to study in vernon hills lollicups

Last time you drank/got high/ or did domething illegal: hrm…last
night i did partake of the wine…although as i am of legal drinking
age, i dont know if that would count

Last kiss?: does  it count if it came from my puppy? no? then i
dont remember…OH WAIT! some drunk girl at diwali afterparty!

Last time you had sex?: sadly, i cannot remember.

Last time you took a shower: last night after working out

Last time you cried: when my father died

Last movie you watched: in theaters=DOOM with the ROCK

Last food you ate: lamb

Last item bought: sled for the white elephant gift exchange

Last shirt worn: transformers…cuz i am more than meets the eye

Last phone call: My mom …to find out why the school is billing me for something the insurance should be paying for

Last time at the mall: phil’s bday to purchase his gift

Last drink: wine

Last text message in your inbox: my car still smells like fried chicken -phil

Last text message in your outbox: haha chicken car-me

Last thing you typed: bollocks!

The Sorting Hat Test

You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart.

Gryffindors are known for their courage, audacity, and devotion to what is good and honest.

Yay so i get to hang out with Harry Ron and Hermione in Gryffindor. What wacky adventures will those kids get up to next?

-J

The Josh really does not know as much anatomy as he should

Alright, i have been on hiatus long enough. time for a recap of the weekend.

Wednesday Bahram and I flew back home to LA. I followed my annual
tradition of returning from Chicago and eating at In N Out. Considering
that this is usually the only time i will eat beef, much less a
hamburger, i forgive myself. That ought to clue you in to how good
these burgers are. I do not like the taste of beef and yet eat one
double double whenever i come home.

Later that night drove out to meet Jenn and her new bf. Who i might add
seems neither gay, abusive, or neurotic, so for now he gets The Josh
stamp of approval. you’re welcome, muranaka san Good times were
had, as they always are whenever we get together. I disturbed them all
with my tales of anatomy lab, not the least of which was my traumatic
experience described in the last post.

And from Dean, a list!

Things you can say at Thanksgiving and get away with!

 

1- Talk about a huge breast

2- Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist

3- its cool whip time!

4- If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst!

5- Whew, that’s one terrific spread

6- I’m in the mood for a little dark meat

7- Are you ready for seconds yet?

8- Its just a little dry, do you still want to eat it?

9- Just wait your turn, you’ll get some!

10- Don’t play with your meat

11- Just spread the legs open and stuff it

12- Do you think you’ll be able to handle all these people at once?

13-I didn’t expect everyone to come at once

14- You still have a little bit on your chin!

15- You’ll know its ready when it pops up

16- How long will it take after you stick it in?

17- Wow- I didn’t think I could handle all that

18- That’s the biggest one I’ve ever seen

19- How long do I beat it before its ready?

So Thanksgiving. In a yearly tradition, my family and I drive down to
San Diego where all our greek and mexican family live, and we have a
big ol thanksgiving dinner. I like it because there is greek food.
Turkey is involved too, but really it is all about the spanakopita, the
greek salad, the avgolemono soup (this year provided by yours truly)
and smothering lemon over everything there. Cousin Yvette brought her
baby this year. Marty is a lot like my puppy in terms of being confused
when picked up. Fred did not appreciate the comparison

It must be so disorienting to be a baby, falling asleep and waking up
in new places all the time, toted around like some kind of chloroformed
kidnap victim

but i digress.  There was much of the eating, and the reminiscing,
and a pre-screening of my brother’s film (in theater on December 16th!)
yes theater, singular. He’s not spielberg yet, but he will certainly
give him a run for his money. This was followed by the annual old
people and Josh poker game…i won 2 dollars. Not too bad when the ante
is usually a nickle or dime.

Black Friday was the usual madness. Got to CompUSA at 11pm thursday
night to wait in line for the store to open at midnight. All i wanted
from the place was a 1gb flash drive for me and a 512 for my friend.
total cost would have been about 40 bucks. not too shabby. two bruised
ribs and 3.5 hours later i had only managed to obtain the one flash
drive and had just finished sitting in one of only two checker lines
with 200 other people operated b y the slowest moving checkers you ever
did see

I also felt bad because i was next to a very nice and slightly fobbish
chinese man who every 10 minutes or so of the 3 hours i was in line
would point to somethign in the circular and ask me if it was good. If
i made a comment to the effect of yah that product was okay, he would
immediately ask me to hold his place in line, and go purchase 3 more of
whatever the product was. This happend about 4 times to the point where
i was afraid to open up my mouth because i kept running up his credit
card bill. So finally he asked one more time and i said, no that is not
that great. So he disappeared and only came back with one more. *sigh*

Left compusa at 3:45 am, walked across the street and purchased a
burrito from a business savvy snack cart driver waiting outside of best
buy, then caught a ride over to Fry’s to wait for it too open at 5am.

I only wish i had my camera. Fry’s looked like some sort of post
apocalyptic homeless shelter. People were huddled up close together,
bundled up in several coats or sleeping bags (although in all fairness
it was 57 degrees in California ) sitting on tipped over shopping
carts and cluthcing circulars too themselves. I really cant do the
scene justice, but it was a beautiful mental ironical image, this
celebration of capitalism making everyone look like the poorest of the
poor. Only in america. Mad my purchases went home and slept for a few
hours then continued shopping with the mom

Then saw Harry Potter 4. It was dark, and they changed certain things
from the book, but all in all i enjoyed it. Also, as the quality and
number of movies that i see decrease, i get really bad at reviewing,
and for this i am sorry. but the movie was in fact worth seeing. so go
to it.

And because I was tagged by niffy44 a while back, here are 5 weird habits of mine. if you want to play share, consider yourself tagged.

1. I always put on first my right sock, then my left sock BUT my left
pant leg then my right pant leg. I don’t know why i do this.

2.Anytime i drive through a yellow light, i touch my fingers to my lips
and hit the ceiling so nothing bad happens to me. thus far it has worked

3. When i bother to gel my hair, i use two mirrors, the main view and
the side view to make sure my profile isn’t all weird looking

4. I shave using only water. no cream, no gel. Not even a blade okay maybe a blade, but that is it

5. When I go to the zoo, i must both begin and end the visit with the monkey cages

Okay okay, now i know you are all anxiously awaiting the oppportunity
to see me in a turban, but i am still waiting to get a few diwali pics
sent to me, so i will have that post up on monday. Til then, hold your
horses and a happy remainder of the holiday weekend

til next time-

-J

The Josh will baste YOUR turkey

Okay, so here be the really really really late pics from talk like a pirate day

And here be a timewaster that wenyin tagged me for, knowing full well that i cnt get enough of this stuff.

20 facts
write 20 random facts about yourself, then tag the same amount of people as minutes it takes you to write the facts

Start time: 4:46

1. I am ambidextrous, and can write, eat, throw, and do anything else you can think of equally well with either hand

2. I can make my voice sound *exactly* like kermit the frog, dr. nick
from the simpsons,  mr hanky the xmas poo, and yoda, among others

3. one of my favorite words is “tomfoolery”

4. i can bench press my own body weight

5. I have lived my entire life within 30 minutes of major cities (new york, orlando, los angeles, chicago, etc.)

6. My standard for self improvement is batman. Every time i find a way to become more like him, it has been a good day

7. I keep my old cell phone number on my new cell phone, and occasionally call it to see who picks up

8. had i not made it into medical school, i was going to head to
culinary school, and as such, i can make a number of delectable dishes

9. I am a much more private person than my writing style would lead you to believe

10. I have broken and/or dislocated 10 bones in my body, mostly from doing stupid things

11. Only two things in this world bother me: the ocean and clowns, in
that order. And a clown with a shark fin on its back would scare me
shitless

12.  I really enjoy writing song parodies of well known songs. check out here to see some of them, or scroll through backlogs for others

13. My main interest in medicine is ER and/or international health, but everyone tells me i should do pediatrics

14. I eat cereal dry or with water

15. my favorite artists are salvador dali and m.c. escher

16. i have dressed in drag for two years weekly in high school as part
of the rocky horror picture show cast. Let me tell you, i made a sexy
bitch

17. i try to complement at least one person a day, or failing that, to make one person’s day a little more surreal

18. since i have been able to grow facial hair, it has only been shaved off twice-both times for lost bets

19. i drive with only one hand on the steering wheel, even when the other hand is not doing anything

20. i can walk the length of a short room entirely on my hands

time finished: 4:56

I am too lazy to tag people, so how about if you read this and see
something here about me you did not know, consider yourself tagged.
Although i know kelly will cave to my internet peer pressure, and mary
will do this while at work, so i guess i shall see it from them at
least

Wow. Obsessed much, nic? lets not give our kid an inferiority complex or anything. Oh well, as long as they keep the kryptonite out of his crib.

Know
anybody who oversleeps? want to have fun waking them up? Well then, the
Sonic Grenade is for you! just pull the pin, yell “fire in the hole”
and lob it at the unsuspecting sleeper. It doesn’t shut off until the
pin goes back in, meaning until they find you, you magnificent bastard.

Fun fact of the day:
In 1967 or thereabouts Van Morrison wanted to get out of his contract
with a record label, so he fulfilled his obligation by making up 31
songs and recording them in a single sitting. They’re awful songs, but
it’s interesting to listen to a few. All 31 are available as MP3s on
WFMU’s blog.
[Morrison sings] on topics ranging from ringworm to
wanting a danish, to hating his record label and a guy named George.
Make sure you get past the first few tunes – it takes him a few to get
cooking.

Until next time, loyal viewers

-J

Josh thinks youre very lucky to have ringworm

The 49 Meme from Kelly

7 things I plan to do before I die:
1. Speak 5 languages fluently (yay…halfway there!)
2.Own a Motorcycle
3. Live abroad (probably Japan)
4. Save Someone’s Life
5. Star in a film (it could happen, my bro is a film major!)
6. Get my parachuting license
7. Breed

7 things I can do:
1. Write random ass song parodies
2. find the humor in the situation
3. put my legs behind my head.
4. memorize useless shit
5. synthesisze various pharmaceuticals.
6. cook a gourmet meal
7. make people feel better

7 things I cannot do:
1. Pay off my student loans. (oh how true, Kelly, how true)
2. Accurately judge if a girl has interest in me or not
3. relax
4. permit myself to fail
5. walk the lenght of a room on my hands
6. lab research
7. make myself go in the ocean

7 things that attract me to a partner
1.eyes/face (yeah, i’m shallow…what)
2. intelligence
3. willingness to try new things
4. attitude
5. based on my past history, some degree of neediness (shrugs)
6. smile
7. availability/proximity (yes, i really have fallen that low)

7 things I say most often
1. oh hamburgers
2. nutbunnies
3. tremendous
4. call me the…(insert lame pun here i.e. warden, cuz i got this locked up)
5. groovy
6. *resigned sigh*
7. let’s do it!

7 celebrity crushes (in no particular order)
1. Jessica Alba
2. Elizah Dushku
3. Rachel Bilson
4. Lindsey Lohan
5. Catherine Zeta Jones
6. Ziyi Zhang
7. Ayumi Hamasaki

7 people I will torture with this meme:
No one, cuz i just sent one of these…but Kelly, never hesitate to tag me for a timewaster

Where to go next…?

Wow. I bet you did not know that the secret to understanding all the worlds religions could be gleaned by watching the Powerpuff Girls,
did you? I thought not. Oh that islamic buttercup…so violent, so
angry! Looks like she needs the help of her sisters judaism and
christianity to settle her down so they can fight the evil mojo jojo of
science and secularization.

Seriously, some people just try too hard.

Oh and because i know you have all anxiously been awaiting updates
from me about the status of the attractive AP, allow me to inform you
that (drum roll please…)

No soup for me.

I asked again, phrasing basically as, hey let me take you out this
weekend on a date to celebrate being done with the first round of
exams. As soon as I heard the well…pause…

I am gonna be honest with you online people, i kinda tuned out at
that point because I no longer cared what the justification was. Yada
Yada Yada still too stressed….something something….tough month and
so on and so forth.

DOn’t get me wrong, i intend to remain friends with her, but it
looks like she is one of those girls who simply is too nice to flat out
say sorry not interested and i dont feel like wasting my time.

BUT!

All hope is not lost for The Josh. In the course of studying for
midterms this past week I have become aware of what may be a possible
interest in me by a girl we shall call…hmm…how about the pretty
punjabi?

Anyhoo, before you all start clamoring at me at once, the potential
signals being sent my way were pointed out to me by others whose
opinions I would trust. I am a flirty person in general, not that any
of you could guess I am sure, but i had confirmation from my wingman
before i was even thinking about it that i was actually being flirted
back with.

Long story short, I have a pseudo-date this weekend with her. Pseudo
in the sense that she has called several of our get togethers dates
including this one upcoming one, but until I hear her respond
affirmatively when I call it a date, i am not going to read anything
into it.

Let’s just end it there shall we?

COming soon…

Pictures
More details on the newest interest
A shitload of drinking because exams will be done

-J

Really, I should not be allowed in the anatomy lab, I have waaaay too
much fun there. Today was more dissecting of the heart, basically
cutting it up to examine the ventricular and atrial cavities from the
inside (right after lunch! mmm mmm good!) and then dissecting the
remainder of the posterior mediastinum to uncover the esophagus, aorta
and trachea in that order.

Of course since i am by far the most morbid in my group, I got the
privilige of cutting the heart and came up with this little song.

To the tune of Tearing up My Heart by some boy band

Baby I don’t understand
just what it is I’m doing
but there’s a heart in my hands
dissecting’s fun but baby we can’t learn

lest you know
so trust me and watch videos
I am down (down) in the lab
I can’t take it any more…

I’m cutting up the heart
as you can see
left A-V valve has 2 cusps, right has 3
and semilunar valves lead to great vessels
that heart’s some muscle!

Now picture me kinda doing a little hip shoulder swaying action singing
this in the anatomy lab holding a human heart in my hands.
Disrespectful, you say? pish-tosh…I have nothing but the utmost
respect for Charles, who was being a rather good sport about it, but
who says learning can’t be fun?

Damn Skippy. So far My group has come up with a song to sing for every
body part we dissect and I will keep you guys informed, I promise

And now more online time wasters!

Tagged

Tagged by no one in particular, but stolen from SingingMonkey12

10 years ago:  Age 14. Just starting high
school. Still a bit of a misfit, but learning that humor makes friends
and fends off foes. Shy as all get out having not yet discovered
performance as an outlet for my weirdness. Not getting along with my
younger brother and teasing him mercilessly like the horrible person I
was back in the day. Fairly high strung, and looking for my
place…think dazed and confused, but alcohol and drug free

5 years ago:  Age 19. Just beginning college
and thinking it would be just like what the movies told me…I would in
short order gain a best friend, girlfriend, live in a giant dorm room
and spend all day sitting out in the quad smoking pot. Not entirely
that far from the truth. Began smoking the wacky tobakky on a regualr
basis at this time. Met my very first college roomates. 3 of whom I
suspect I will be friends with for the rest of my life, and 1 who wants
to beat me down should he ever catch me alone. (I mocked him for
turning a girl lesbian) Dated the one girl I had ever purposely made
cry (hey, she broke up with me half an hour before my final exam and
then asked out my roomate while I was taking it…this was not totally
unjustified) but did not get very far physically with her. Had gained a
great deal of confidence in myself in every area except that of
relationships, and knew professionally that I wanted to be in medicine.
Began getting interested in Japanese Language in addition to food and
weapons. The asian fetish, as it were began to pick up steam

1 year ago:  Age 23. Struggling through the AP
program right before the first set of exams, hoping to god I would do
well enough to make it into actual med school, that I hadn’t thrown
away how many years of my life. Had recently ended a one year
relationship but remained on good terms with the girl (now, who
knows?). Was still able to have my dad reassure me about my fears of
failing and tell corny jokes, given that he was alive and would be for
approximately one more month before succumbing to a massive heart
attack right before I took my finals

Yesterday:  Age 24. Studied as a medical
student. Went to class. Hosted a physio review session as a T.A., all
that hard work having paid off. Watched the OC season 3 premiere.
Talked with the attractive AP. Worked out with friends in the gym.
learned to bhangra (indian dancing) at 1 in the morning. Went to bed
thinking how much life has changed, how far I have come and still have
left to go, and realizing on the whole, I am happy with my life

5 snacks I enjoy:
*  Pie-any kind
*  Boba
*  Potato Chips
*  Hummus
*  crunchy rice

5 songs I know all the words to:
* I want it that way by the Backstreet Boys
*  End of the world as we know it by REM
*  Maria Maria by Carlos Santana
* Wordplay by Jason Mraz
*  Caress me Down by Sublime

5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:
*  Pay off my Med School Loans and my brother’s film school loans
* 
Create scholarships in my Father’s name in robotics, my brothers in
Film, my Mothers in culinary, and mine in something or other
*  Purchase real estate in any country I may consider living in
* 
Go with my close friends on a fancy around-the-world trip where we
try everything any country has to offer from skydiving to spelunking to
whatever
*  I guess I should save some for later & invest or something…  (yah adapted from Singing Monkey but they are good ideas)

5 things I would never wear:
*  a tongue or genital piercing
past that, anything is pretty much fair game

5 bad habits:
*  Lying in bed after alarm has gone off for 10 minutes every morning
*  spreading myself too thin
*  speaking before thinking
*  i suppose narcotics would technically fall under this list, but I have given most up
*  ending all phone calls within 10 minutes

5 favorite toys:
*  Dell Inspiron
*  Zen Touch mp3 player
*  modified XBOX
*  A pen with which i can spin around my fingers
*  Sony Cybershot DSC P72 camera

5 people to tag:
Mary
Kelly
Jenn
Ken
Grrsh

So fill it out people, I am
curious! And dont feel left out vinh, i would tag you but i recall how
lazy you are about these things

In the news…our wonderful
administration with it’s incredibly competent officials is so on top of
this hurricane katrina thing that we can totally afford to just ignore or outright refuse help from other countries. Cuz we’re America Dammit! we’re number one and don’t oyu forget it

but perhaps I am being too
harsh. After all, congress did just approve 51.8 billion in additional
funding for Katrina relief which will certainly help. Of course almost
all of it is going to FEMA
for distribution. You know, because theyvve handled everything so well
up to this point. (disaster recovery after all, is just like probing horse ass)
And I’m sure they will be fair and efficient about who they give the
money to, and the federal contractors who get the work will be
completely fair when they pay the locals they hire, despite the fact
that they don’t legally have to pay the prevailing wage anymore

But don’t worry residents! Fafblog has come to your rescue with a  do it yourself emergency management guide!

And here is the George Bush Don’t like black people remix of Kanye West’s Golddigger.Distribute away!

And just a little more…

Friday, September 2nd, 2005

Dear Mr. Bush:

Any
idea where all our helicopters are? It’s Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and
thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted.
Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do
you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot.
Man, was that a drag.

Also,
any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use
them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping
with national disasters. How come they weren’t there to begin with?

Last
Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of
Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then
but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there
were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this
storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody
tell you? I know you didn’t want to interrupt your vacation and I know
how you don’t like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to
and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her!

I
especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to
Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps.
Don’t let people criticize you for this — after all, the hurricane was
over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?

And
don’t listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you
specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers’ budget for New
Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them
that even if you hadn’t cut the money to fix those levees, there
weren’t going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you
had a much more important construction job for them — BUILDING
DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!

On
Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was
moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds
as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the
disaster. Hey, I know you couldn’t stop and grab a bullhorn and stand
on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.

There
will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it
against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to
nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen
because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter
making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global
warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane
that was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched
from New York to Cleveland.

No,
Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It’s not your fault that 30 percent
of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no
transportation to get out of town. C’mon, they’re black! I mean, it’s
not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white
people on their roofs for five days? Don’t make me laugh! Race has
nothing — NOTHING — to do with this!

You
hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters
and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf
Coast are near Tikrit.

Yours,

Michael Moore

And that ought to do it

-J

Josh is Histo-rific

Thanks Jenn! ii tomodachi desu ne

basics*

01. time you started: 8:18
02. full name: Joshua Scott Dworetzky
03. nicknames: Josh, J.D., J, Ghost, Fantasma, Skeets
04. height: 5’10″
05. weight: 130 (gained 5 lbs due to all this midwestern food around)
06. thongs or panties or lack there of (girls only):
07. boxers or briefs (guys only): boxers, preferably with cartoon characters on them. And as long as we’re sharing, its currently spongebob
09 birthday: May 17, 1981
10. zodiac sign: Taurus
11. location: Currently North Chicago Illinois (NOT the north PART of Chicago, but a separate city, aka BFE)
12. birth place: Manhattan, NY
13. hair color: Dark brown
14. eye color: Brown
15. siblings: 1 younger brother, Brian

*crushes*
16. are you in love?: with what? wine? women? song? potatoes?
17. are you more interested in guys or girls be honest: Girls
18. what’s your biggest turn on about the opposite sex?: Probably the eyes, face, hair, ass, chest, in that order
19. do u have a crush?: erm…does airport girl count? do you have to actually know the person?
20. do u have a girlfriend/boyfriend?: Not at the moment

*past*
21. what age would you go back to?: Quit living in the past! Every age is awesome
22. memory you miss most: karaoke nights and trivial pursuit nights with the respective gangs
23. memory you would like to forget: none…my memories make me who I am
24. what’d you do today: same thing I do every day…study…med school does not make for thrilling routine
25. last person you talked to on the phone: brother
26. last thing you said: Crap Rabbits!

*favorites*
27. food: spanakopita, with sushi a close second
28. drink: green tea (it’s the asian in me)
29. alcoholic beverages: Jack and coke mixed drink, red headed slut shot, and newcastle beer
31. cd’s: erm, I dont buy cd’s I am a communist and download them
32. thing to eat for lunch: rice or sandwich
33. day of the week: thursday…it has so much potential
34. month: may….dude, my birthday should be a national holiday
35. number: 6
36. holiday: National Consumer Whore Day! erm…i think you people call it xmas
37. cookie: c is for cookie, thats good enough for me

38 THERE IS NO QUESTION 38! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

39. ice cream topping: BBQ Sauce…because I dont eat ice cream
40. candy or mint: reese peanut butter cups
41. favorite channel: the screaming retarded monkey channel…
42. radio: the one the professor and I built from coconut shells and banana leaves
43. movie: the one starring me and your mom…perhaps you have seen it on the internet

*people*
44. best girl friends: any girl who is my friend (woo, am I a charmer or what?)

45 INTERRUPTS YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED QUESTIONS FOR NO GOOD REASON

46. favorite vacation spot: Japan…anywhere in Japan
47. loudest friend: tough call….perhaps Ari at the moment
49. best at keeping secrets: my dog, coz who she gonna tell?
50. smartest: Mike Lake
51. most likely to be a stripper: Kim
52. sweetest, who does the sweetest things: my friend who is made entirely out of sugar
53. weirdest: erm…Ken, just for randomness
54. funniest: Koh for unintentionally funny
55. most annoying: Andy, and I am sure he is proud to know he has earned that title

*believe it or not*
56. aliens: erm…have you SEEN my LJ?
57. angels: sure, why not
58. heaven and hell: nope, reincarnation is where itz at
59. God: undecided….i am willing to entertain the idea
60. yourself: Of course!

*have you ever*
61. been on a plane: no, because I am AMISH! What kind of ridiculous question is this?
62. cried in public: only when I have suffered a broken bone or worse, and even then, it is quickly stifled
63. climbed a tree: yesterday, in fact
64. ate a worm: yep…i was a stupid child
65: gone bungee jumping: yep…i am a stupid adult too
66: met a celebrity: several, and lucky are those celebrities who have met ME
67. met the president: no, and he better hope I dont either
68. been scared to get shot: like medicinal or gunshot? coz i dont think anyone HOPES  to get shot
69. had a new years kiss: yes, but never a random one
70. shopped at abercrombie & fitch: it is where I got my favorite monkey shirt

*what do you think about when you hear*
71. carson daly: LIKE OMG WHere dId mY BrAiN ceLlS g0?
72: bill clinton: my political hero…
73. lollipops: munchkins
74. dreams: kanji (yes I am sad)
75. love: heart
76. whipped cream: NOS
77. south park: cartman (brilliant)
78. britney spears: i dont think about britney spears
79. christina aguilera: much less whorish recently
80. guys: *shrugs* me?
81. girls: naughty naughty thoughts

*which would you rather*
82. 2-door/4-door car?: four door (probably can pack in more friends!)
83. dog/cat: dog fo shizzle yo
84. blue/purple: blue
85. chocolate/vanilla: swirl….defy convention!
86. pen/pencil: pen

*questions that don’t matter*
87. do you sleep with a stuffed animal?: Yes, but I always use protection
88. if so, what is their name?: a gentleman never tells
89. if you were a crayon, what color would you be?: tasty
90. how many buddies do you have on your buddy list?: 200 (I am a whore)
91. do you like this survey: I’ve seen better
92. one pillow or two, cotton or feather?: 4, cotton
93. do you make your bed every morning? if you mean do i fold the blanket back to the edge of the bed, then yes
94. how long are you in the shower?: 10 minutes…u can set your watch by it
95. how do you eat a reese’s peanut butter cup:with my mouth…duh
96. what does your name mean?: something about mankinds savior (hebrew joshua led the jews to the holy land)
97: did you have to look up the meaning?: nope
99. what came first, the chicken or the egg? chicken…God would look pretty silly sitting on an Egg
100. time finished: 8:47 Back to work

-J

Josh is a mass murderer of time

nothing interesting has happened for a while, so i post this and see who follows suit

1. First Name: Joshua
2.. Were you named after anyone? well, as I am not the only Josh on the planet, yes, but is it anyone i know…nope.
3. Do you wish on stars? yes, but johnny depp never responds
4. Which finger is your favorite? depends on my mood…today it was my pinky
5. When did you last cry? when I broke my leg, ribs, and sternum in 9th grade in a car accident with a drunk driver
6. Do you like your handwriting? yes, i just cant read it
7. What is your favorite lunch meat? prosciutto
8. Any bad habits? sarcastic, occasionally petty, or impatient, but getting better
9. What is your most embarrassing CD on the shelf? N-sync, but in my defense, it was a gift
10. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? of course, i am great!!
11. Are you a dare-devil? and how…!
12. Have you ever told a secret you swore never to tell? no, my word is my bond
13. Do looks matter? yeah, but not as much as some people think
14. Have you ever misused a word and it sounded absolutely stupid? no, i just make up words to fit
15. Do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? gold..mmm…shiny…
16. Do fish have feelings? of course… ive seen finding nemo…they feel squishy
17. Are you trendy? nope…i am so far behind most trends that i am ahead
18. How do you release anger? stand up comedy
19. Where is your second home? my car
20. Do you trust others easily? unless they give me reason not too
21. What was your favorite toy as a child?  x-men…and batman…they would fight…but when they joined forces…WOW!
22. What class in school do you think is totally useless? sociology
23. Do you have a journal? http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Rveblade
24. Do you use sarcasm a lot? no, never. Except when I do
25. Have you ever been in a mosh pit?  right… im way too wimpy to try that…
26. What do you look for in a boy/girl? willingness to put up with my childish side, someone intelligent, lots of stuff… found a great one, though
27. What are your nicknames? Fantasma, Ghost, White Chocolate
28. Would you ever bungee jump? when u want to go?
29. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? no, they don’t even have laces…i’m too lazy
30. Do you think that you are strong?mentally or physically? hmm either way, probably not enough spinach in the world to help me
31. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? soy
32. What’s your favorite color? blue
33. What is your least favorite food? red meat
34. How many wisdom teeth do you have? all of them…call me the tooth guru
35. Are you in love with anyone? yeah, smiles
36. How many people have a crush on you right now? i stopped keeping track
37. Who do you miss most right now? not picking favorites, so we shall just say YOU
38. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? that’s be great,people
39. What color pants are you wearing? blue and yellow spongebob boxers…too much info u think?
40. What are you listening to right now? japanese punk rock
41. What are the last 4 digits of your telephone number? 7153
42. What was the last thing you ate? hard boiled egg
43. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? tasty
44. How is the weather right now? nice evening
45. Who is the last person you talked to on the phone? caroline
46. First thing you notice about the opposite sex? eyes
47. How are you today? can’t complain, but i still do
49. Favorite alcoholic drink? jack and coke
51. Hair color? brown with gold tips and reddish sideburns
52. Eye color?shit brown
53. Do you wear contacts? not anymore…yay for LASIK
54. Siblings and their ages? brian 19, and nikka, 1 or 7 depending on how u count
53. Favorite month? may…spring AND my bday
56. Favorite food? thai right now
57. Last movie you watched? kill bill vol 2
58. Favorite day of the year? every day
59. Are you too shy to ask someone out? no, but caroline generally disapproves when i do
60. Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings ARE scary
61. Summer or winter? winter, but california standards
63. Relationships or one-night stands? relationships
64. Do you want your friends to write back? duh… im attention-starved
65. Who is most likely to respond? alicia, coz we have that kind of relationship, and drew, coz he has nothing better to do with his time
66. Who is least likely to respond? sadly, everyone else
67. Living arrangement? 2 roommates… i call one of them mom, the other dad
68. What book are you reading? mysteries of the kabbalah revealed
69. Favorite board game? axis and allies
70. What did you watch on TV last night? family guy
71. Favorite smells? gasoline, and peanut butter. I know, i’m weird
72. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? ouch

i promise to leave propz and a comment if you actually fill out the whole thing and post in on your site!

 

I haven’t done one of these in a while

 

LAYER ONE

– Name: The Josh

– Birth date: May 17, 1981

– Birthplace: New York City

– Current: LA

– Eye Color: Dark brown

– Hair Color: Brown (with some red mixed in)

– Height: 5′ 9″ &¾ (Yes, don’tt forget my &¾!)

– Righty or Lefty: Mainly lefty, but I can do a lot of things with my right. Would you like to find out what?

 

LAYER TWO

– Your heritage: some unholy mix of russian greek italian mexican and honorary japanese

– The shoes you wore today: the flesh colored ones with built in toes

– Your weakness: Girls that cry. Not fucking fair!

– Your fears: Failing

– Goal you’d like to achieve:   Gain entry into medical school

 

LAYER THREE

– Your most overused phrase on aim: groovy

– Your thoughts first waking up: what day is this?

– Your best physical feature: My sense of humor, that’s all I got. That and my stunning good looks

– Your bedtime: Usually Midnight

– Your best missed memory: The Carefree days when my biggest worry was how to get a cookie

 

LAYER FOUR

– Pepsi or Coke: don’t drink soda

– McDonald’s or Burger King: Carls Jr has the best fries. I don’t eat burgers

– Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: How about ice cold crispy clear H2O instead?

– Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate, but it’s got to be soy cream

– Cappuccino or coffee: Vanilla Latte with soy milk

 

LAYER FIVE

– Smoke: what?

– Cuss: Fuck, yeah

– Sing: It’s getting me to shut up that’s the problem

– Take a shower: it rained a few weeks ago, otherwise every day I undergo strenous physical activity, like waking up

– Have a crush: on my g/f

– Do you think you’ve been in love: I think/thought so

– Want to go to university?: Not quite ready to leave

– Like(d) high school: Apparently I was one of the few that did

– Want to get married: Someday? Maybe

– Believe in yourself: Only one I can believe in. Except for Batman

– Get motion sickness: not often

– Think you’re attractive: Yes, and if that makes me egotistical, so be it

– Think you’re a health freak: everyone else seems to think so, wish I had the will power to be one

– Get along with your parent(s): Most of the time

– Like thunderstorms: And how! Bring on the gorogoro

– Play an instrument: just learning the capoeira ones, ever so slowly

 

LAYER SIX

In the past month…

– Drank alcohol: Yes, but not usually not often

– Smoked: cigarettes are BAD for you

– Done a drug: I’ll plead the fifth, and take it too…or is that the eighth?

– Made Out: What am I, 8 years old?

– Gone on a date: What am I, 9 years old?

– Gone to the mall: Does 3rd street count

– Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No, I am a health freak, remember?

– Eaten sushi: Fo sheezy, eat it, make it, u name it

– Been on stage: At my comedy show in ealry march and prob again in april

– Made homemade cookies: yep

– Gone skinny-dipping: it’s been known to happen on occasion

– Stolen anything: Yes, let the gates of hell fly open now

 

LAYER SEVEN

Ever…

– Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes, and I don’t play enough of them

– Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes

– Been called a tease: Does holding a double cheese burger over the head of a short fat girl count?

– Shoplifted: The gates open a bit wider

– Changed who you were to fit in: Nope, I am so loveable it is not necessary

 

LAYER Eight

– Age you hope to be married: 30 ish?

– Numbers and Names of Children: 2 of any sex, but one MUST have the middle name “The”

– Describe your Dream Wedding: I will leave that to whoever I marry

– How do you want to die: spontaneous combustion in a crowd…failing that old age…in a crowd

– Where you want to go to university?: umm, i believe the phrase is been, there, done that

– What do you want to be when you grow up: WHEN? Curse you Med Schools Curse You

– What country would you most like to visit:  Australia, the island that is country AND continent 

 

LAYER NINE

In a guy/girl…

– Best eye color? Oh, Jesus…all of them can look good, but natural grey looks bomb

– Best hair color? Brunettes for sure

– Short or long hair:  always LONG

– Height: 5’3″ to 5’9″

– Best weight: Depends on height,

– Articles of clothing: Best would be something classy on top and something naughty under it

– Best first date location: comedy club…nothing helps peepz bond like laughter

– Best first kiss location: wherever the first kiss happens IS the perfect location. Ya, mad cheesy, I know

 

LAYER TEN

–# of drugs taken illegally: umm…# of different kinds, occasions, what?

–# of people I could trust with my life: yes, let me post THAT for the people I DON’T trust to see and give the more targets

–# of CDs that I own: Not enough legal ones

–# of piercings: none

–# of tattoos: none…yet

–# of things in my past that I regret: very few

 

fill it out and post, my loyal subscribers!

 

so THAT’S what made them magically delicious…and magically hallucinogenic

 

and now, time for the midnight snack

 

-J

 

“Bees make honey AND jelly? How come nothing humans make tastes good?”