January 16, 2006

• So Photos from Ritika’s Bday party are up much much faster than normal,
  because my new camera (the canon SD400) is the hotness, and i love any
  excuse to use it. In fact, my camera is so sexy, that if i were another
  camera, i would totally want to make love to it and have it be my
  camera baby’s mama

  yes, i went there.

  So pics are up at both the usual site and if you prefer to see all the pics at one time album style, here at my yahoo site. enjoy.

  And now it’s time for wacky porn! Think an electronic Hallmark card with benefits…
  newly-released “multispeed vibrator with a recording device which
  allows you to ‘record your own voice, your lover’s or download voices
  from anonymous strangers to fulfill your most lustful ambitions.’” hey
  dude, its one thing to whisper sweet nothings in your girls ear, but to
  have your voice randomly screaming out of…well, you know. creepy.

  And in another blast from the past, here is a site with links to many many clips from japanese game shows. The funny ones. like girls with meat hats get charged by lizards for no good reason.

  The following paragraph is stolen from Todaysrandomluckywinner because i liked it. I suggest you check his site out if you get a chance. He has some interesting stuff going on.

  “Why you always play this shit?”
  “Shit? This is Bach’s Suite for Cello #1. How you gonna call the most beautiful piece of music ever written shit?”
  “Because.
  You always play this shit after a job. Always. We get in the car, we’re
  all hyped, and you play this shit. Really ruins the high.”
  “The
  high? Don’t be an asshole. School teachers are supposed to love their
  jobs. In your line of work, loving your job is a liability.”
  “Fuck that. What? I can’t enjoy myself? I take orders from the boss, I do what he says, and I’m supposed to hate myself for it?”
  “Yeah, exactly. Which is why I play ‘this shit’ as you so candidly termed it.”
  “Fuck you’re big words. You’re just a driver.”
  “Yeah, well fuck your shitty taste. I’m the driver, I play what I want.”
  “So tell me, Descarte, why the fuck you always play this shitty song everytime?”
  “It’s a statement about the duality of life.”
  “Oh my fucking God.”
  “What? You wanna know this or what?”
  “Yeah, yeah. Keep going.”
  “Well,
  I mean, think on this: we’re not exactly the epitome of tranquilty are
  we? If anything, we’re more the harbringers of chaos. How many lives do
  you think we fucked up today? I mean, how many people do you think we
  affected and, in their worlds, totally spontaneously? I mean, fuck,
  Frank killed a guy.”
  “He was about to push the button! I fucking told that mother fucker…”
  “Yeah,
  yeah. I ain’t sayin’ you did wrong, Frank. All I’m saying is putting a
  hole in that guys chest isn’t exactly comparable to raking a zen
  garden. And yeah, it keeps us paid. I mean, hell, look at us. Is any of
  us wearing a suit that cost less than $3000? Lenny is even wearing Dior
  perfume (don’t make that face Lenny, we all know it). How expensive you
  think that shit is?”
  “What’s your point?”
  “My point? My point is
  that every three or four months or however long it takes to plan the
  job, we completely screw everything up for a shitload of people. The
  bank president, the tellers, the people who just happened to be there.
  And not always negatively. I’ll bet the guy standing next to that guy
  who got whacked is going to go home and love his wife harder and deeper
  than he ever loved her before. I’ll bet the teller is going to call her
  sister or who knows what and apologize or some shit. I’ll bet the boss
  is going to buy another yacht or something. But we ain’t exactly angels
  either. I’ll bet the guy Frank shot’s mother is going to wonder what’s
  the point of living when her only seed got murdered during a heist.”
  “So why the music?”
  “It’s
  a reminder, Mac. Yeah, we fucked up a lot of people’s lives today, but
  there’s a helluva lot of people that are entirely unaffected. Right now
  there’s some guy sipping on wine and making love to the love of his
  life in front of a fire. Right now there’s some bitch yelling at her
  kids at a grocery store because her life is so fucking stressful. In
  half a day some guy even three blocks down is gonna watch this story on
  the news and not think about it for the rest of the day. Tranquil music
  because, even though what? 5 minutes ago? we totally created chaos,
  some place, somewhere, is as tranquil as a lake on a clear day. It took
  me forever to realize it, but we’re all stuck in 6 foot flesh cages and
  we only got two windows to look out of.”
  “Fuck, man. Is this what you think about while we’re inside?”
  “Yeah. That and if Lenny boy is a queer or not.”
  “Hey, fuck you, asshole.”

  That concludes the jacked portion of this post

  
  -J

  Superman wears The Josh pajamas

  • 11:06 pm
  • 1 Comment