December 21, 2010

• Blau Blau! It’s a smoove!

  2 fascinating patient encounters recently:

  1)A 40 year old black gentleman, former (only by age) gangbanger and with a friendly but colorful dialect was in the hospital for reasons that are unimportant. However, while taking his social history, I happened to ask him if he had ever had any sexually transmitted infections

  “ah shit n*gga, er I mean doc, you mean like that clap on clap off shit? Hell yeah, I had pus all comin out my junk like “blau blau” bu then they got some antibiotics up in this bitch and now it’s all good.

  I should add that when he said blau blau, he also thrust his pelvis forward as if he was using his genitalia as a sidearm. It was one of the few moments in my professional career where I seriously doubted my ability to keep a straight face.

   

  2) Another gentleman came in with severe burns on his arm. When asked how such a thing might have occured, he related that he had been in the midst of a domestic dispute with his baby mama. She became angry and hit him with the smoove. 

  Dr J “What’s a smoove?”

  Pt “You know, a smoove, that thing you use to smoove out your clothes”

  Dr J *facepalm*

  • 10:33 pm
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