When last we left our heroes, they were just setting off on a midnight train to anywhere Georgia Varanasi, city of KNowledge. We arrived safely and met our guide for the area, who was the Indian Version of Bernie Mac. He was also chock full of information about the city
The name Varanasi has its origin from the names of the two rivers Varuna and Assi, for the old city lies in the north shores of the Ganges bounded by its two tributaries, the Varuna and the Assi. It is A city renowned in India for its learning, philosophy and music.
Also its hordes of zombies begging children and rampant poverty.
Our first stop was actually a side trip to Sarnath. Sarnath, from Saranganath, means "Lord of the Deer" and relates to an old Buddhist story in which the Bodhisattva is a deer and offers his life to a king instead of the doe the latter is planning to kill. The king is so moved that he creates the park as a sanctuary for deer. The park is still there today.
It is also the site where Buddha gave his first sermon after becoming enlightened. As if that was not impressive enough to mark this as a place of historical and religious significance, Buddha remained here through the rainy season and founded an entire college
This and more are the remains of living quarters, classrooms, and meditative temples where for hundreds of years Buddhist monks came to learnt he dharma and train under the guidance of either Buddha himself or one of his 5 disciples
The Dhamek Stupa, pictured above is built over the exact site where Buddha was said to have given his first sermon, the eightfold path of nirvana. Stupas are built to commerate important places or events, and many are claimed to have relics (bones or other bits of human remains from holy figures) buried under them, although the sheer number of stupas you will see in this vacation alone would indicate that it is probably more a matter of faith than fact
The Temple first pictured was built much later to commemorate the site and remains an important pilgrimage location for Buddhists of all countries. The inside is filled with murals depicting the entire life and death of Budda, such as above where he came across four figures who would lead him to enlightment an old man, a poor man, a dying man, and a sick man
Lord Buddha in all his glory.
A Brief jaunt across the street to the Sarnath Archaelogical museum revealed the Ashokan Pillar, sandstone polished to the quality of marble, a national emblem of India, and found on all its money
Leaving behind Sarnath, we returned to Varanasi for some light reading, ice cream, and drinks
including some Shirley's Tample
Rajbhog ice cream
and humorous ly named authors.
Finishing just in time to observe the evening Fire Aarti of Varnasi with hundreds, if not thousands of other tourists and pilgrims. But more on that to come...
Leaving Behind the wonders of the Taj, we moved on to the significantly less wonderful Orcha. Falsely led to believe this city was worth a stopover (spoiler: it wasnt) by OnTheGo Tours Agent Ryan Newson (do not give this man business ever) and tricked by this horrible unhelpful lying travel agent in being stuck in this 2 hour city for 36 hours, we decided to make the most of it. Also, still sick and vomiting off camera.
Orcha has three things to see, one of them being this palace. The whole city is a stopover on the way between khajuraho and varanasi. Seriously, Ryan Newson is a dick. Anonymous, get on that.
I would love to tell you all the significance of the things you will be seeing, except I was busy being violently sick off camera and didnt pay attention to most of what the guide said. Dont worry, I will recover by the time we reach Varanasi next post
Admittedly the royal palace was fun and appropriately "ruin"-y looking
Kali-Ma! Temple of Doom pic, check!
I really love the arched doorways of persian architecture
We were given as long as we felt like to wander around and explore
An entire deserted palace, all to ourselves
The King of Orcha died trying to save a cow from a lion. Thats my orcha fact
The Mughals certainly understood the concept of Grand
Elephant Pol entrance
Another Royal palace or some such...we took a dance break
The seven incarnations of shiva
Jahangir Mahal on River Betwa
By this point about 1 week into the trip, we were starting to get a little templed out. So we decided to use our remaining 30 hours in Orcha to explore the town, an excursion Short Round referred to as "Poorism"
Even at Midday, the streets were mostly deserted, the oppressive heat keeping everyone indoors in their stone and thatch houses
Shave and A haircut would be about 2 bits at this barbershop
Even the graffiti notes the heatwave...
Ahh, a Market! Now this is more like it
As the day began to wear down, more people showed up to haggle, play, and generally just hang out in the street. We picked up some trinkets here and there, not out of any real need or desire for souvenirs, but just for the sake of being out and about, interacting with the locals
Yada yada yada, marketplace temple, etc etc, filled with 4 wasps nests when we went to investigate
Those colorful piles are paints, not spices as we orignally thought. And a small child of about 6 years old managed to convince Miss Crystal to purchase some. She was quite the saleswoman, using every trick at her disposal bringing in her smaller sister, telling us what a good deal we were getting, offering a special price that she hadnt given the last tourists...and then she couldnt keep a straight face and laughed, because we were the only tourists she had seen all day. Miss Crystal rewarded her for her efforts, purchasing a small lotus flower filled with 6 paints. She was no more honest or savvy than any other merchant, but she was adorable and still learning her craft
This sign is 100% True.
Finally, the sun set on what felt like the longest day and a half ever, and finally recovered physically and mentally, we boarded an overnight sleeper train
While my last post was all about Agra, I neglected to mention or post anything about what makes it most famous.
The Tah Mahal, one of the New 7 wonders of the world (along with chichen itza in mexico, christ the redeemer in brazil, the colosseum in rome, the great wall of china in freaking all of china, machu picchu in peru and petra in jordan-as of this date, i have been to 4 of them)
Entrance gate to the taj mahal, the small domes on top representing each year it took to build 1632-1653, and the entire border underneath filled with passages from the koran written in ascending perspective so letters at the top and bottom look the same size
Should guilty seek asylum here, Like one pardoned, he becomes free from sin. Should a sinner make his way to this mansion, All his past sins are to be washed away. The sight of this mansion creates sorrowing sighs; And the sun and the moon shed tears from their eyes. In this world this edifice has been made; To display thereby the creator's glory
-Shah Jahan, describing the Taj Mahal
The base structure is essentially a large, multi-chambered cube with chamfered corners, forming an unequal octagon. On each of these sides, a huge pishtaq, or vaulted archway, frames the iwan with two similarly shaped, arched balconies stacked on either side. This motif of stacked pishtaqs is replicated on the chamfered corner areas, making the design completely symmetrical on all sides of the building.
Four minarets frame the tomb, one at each corner of the plinth facing the chamfered corners. The main chamber houses the false sarcophagi of Mumtaz Mahal and Shah Jahan; the actual graves are at a lower level. The minarets were constructed slightly outside of the plinth so that, in the event of collapse, (a typical occurrence with many tall constructions of the period) the material from the towers would tend to fall away from the tomb.
But enough education. Just take a few moments to appreciate this truly marvelous spectacle
Okay, moment's over. Back to fun!
For all you Cal Fans like short round
Pinch!
Short Round is gargantuan
Tourist Bureau requires at least one yoga photo be taken by a tourist every day in India
Our next stop in Jaipur was Dera Amer elephant camp, where we had a choice between an elephant safari, or paying a little extra to play elephant polo.
judging by the photo above, I got a little something "extra" without paying =p, and thus we opted for the safari instead. It was a pleasant hour long ride around the Indian countryside, which looks suspiciously like the Arizona countryside, culminating in a Survivor-like dinner
Torches lit the way to our private dining area, where Dr Han and I drank some locally produced indian wine (this in retrospect was a huge mistake and the most likely cause of our subsequent delhi belly) and Short Round and Miss Crystal enjoyed relaxing and chasing around seconds and birds, respectively. The next morning we had one more stop to make before setting off for Agra.
Galta Temple, or as Short Round would call it, THE TEMPLE OF DOOM
Galta Temple is famous due to the large tribe of monkeys who live here. These rhesus macaques were featured in National Geographic channel's 'Rebel Monkeys' series. The temple features a number of pavilions with rounded roofs, exquisitely carved pillars, and painted walls, and is surrounded by natural springs and reservoirs that are considered holy. There are seven kunds (tanks) here and the Galta Kund is considered the holiest.
Over 1000 Monkeys make their home here, and roam the streets of this mini-city freely. As Hanuman the monkey god is a sacred figure in Hindu culture, the monkeys are considered a blessing, and bags of nuts to feed them are available at the front entrance
Short Round at first was having marvelous fun
but he let his nut sack (pictured above) get too close to the monkey and it leapt up and scratched him in an attempt to grab his nuts
As monkeys have been reported to carry rabies in India, short round insisted on undergoing the extensive series of rabies vaccinations, despite assurances by all medical personnel on the trip (i.e. Dr J and Dr Han) that rabies is transmitted via bites, not scratches, especially not scratches that barely broke skin and it was a provoked rather than unprovoked attack, and only provoked in the sense that the monkey wanted Deez Nuts. However, As rabies IS a deadly disease if contracted, Short Round felt safer overall obtaining the vaccine and immunoglobulin, and spent the remainder of the trip hating all animals and wildly exagerrating the circumstances leading to this event
There I was minding my own business when a gang of monkeys walked up snapping their fingers in unison. Their leader pulled out a switchblade and threatened me, while some of his henchman relieved me of my wallet. Then, under the leaders orders, they knocked me down, stripped me of my clothes and proceeded to beat and rape me. When I was left lying on the ground covered only in my shame, the leader slashed the knife across first his palm, then my wrist, spitting in the wound for good measure. As our blood mingled, he looked at me with contempt. "Ju got monkey aids now holmes" and he scampered off with my rolex glinting in the sun and covered in my tears
The above statement is a minor exagerration of what happened as related to anyone Short Round met for the remainder of the tour.
Another 5 hour drive from Jaipur to Agra, with Short Round stressed over his rabies, me intermittently vomiting from terrible indian wine, and Dr Han feeling none too fresh from his bout with Delhi Belly, and we managed to pass the time by playing more Russian Hangman, and chatting with BP, pictured above, who is truly a saint. Possible the patron saint of driving in India. He not only managed to get us to every destination without any accdients, but also showed us hidden and cheaper shops to obtain what we wanted rather than tour approved traps, and would wait around whenever we went wandering off, showing up at the EXACT moment we thought we would need him. In a city where none of us carried cell phones or could tell people apart, he was there often before we knew he was wanted. Best. Driver. Ever.
Our First stop in Agra was Fatehpur Sikri. Built by Mughal Emperor Jahangir at this site because he wanted a child, and the saint who he sought advice and blessing from lived here and refused to move to his then capital. When Jahangir had a son, he was so happy, he built an additional complex for the holy man and lived at the site with him.
We are sitting on a life size parcheesi court. No joke.
This whole column in Diwan-i-khas, or the hall of private audience is made from a single piece and has 36 serpentine brackets holding it up. Why did it have to be snakes?
We spent a long time exploring the palace grounds, wandering in and out of hallways like scooby doo and the gang
Until finally, we found the perfect spot to take Hipster Album Cover #2
A Brief Aside. Our guide for the single day we were in Agra is the man looking at the camera in the lower left corner of the photo. I do not remember his name. The entire time we were with him, and for many days after, we referred to him simply as "trustache" for his incredibly trustworthy mustache. As it turns out, this is an actual word, as defined by Urban Dictionary:
A man's mustache, fashioned in a way that causes others to trust him whole-heartedly, to an extent that he or she would put their life in the hands of the grower
He lived up to it. The man not only was full of a ton of interesting facts about the places he took us to, but got us into the Red Fort behind him a full hour after it had closed to the public by arguing with an armed guard, based on the premise that we were tourists and who knew when we might come again so just lets us in. And it worked! Had we not been all templed out at that point, he was willing to argue us even deeper into the monument. We settled for just this photo
Red Fort, Agra: Never conquered, never actually attacked. Probably because they had a tiger moat in addition to the traditional kind. Which is apparently a dry pit filled with tigers, not an actual moat with tigers swimming everywhere. Thanks trustache, for everything.
I've spent quite a bit of time showing you all the places I visited thus far, but of course one of the other key parts of any vacation is where you stay, not just what you see. And in Jaipur, we stayed in pretty much the coolest looking hotel ever. It was a heritage hotel, and the former actual residence of one of Rajastans many princes and the whole thing just felt like being in a movie. So please enjoy the photos with a minimum of words, as I present to you, Indiana Josh and the treasure of Shahpura House
Starring Indiana Josh and Short Round
Special Appearances by Miss Crystal
And Dr Han
As comic relief
A Brief view of the outside of Jaipurs finest residential palace for explorers...
We begin by entering the doors of this well known and respected establishement
where hard at work in the study of the adventurers club, Indiana Josh searches diligently for clues to the fabled treasure of shahpura house
A Well stocked bar is important to any adventurer
Seriously, every nook and cranny of this place was packed with something new, exciting, and photo-worthy. The story just practically tells itself
What is an adventurers club, without portraits of the adventurers?
If we dont start doing something exciting soon, I will positively swoon from the tedium of it all...
A Brief stop by the room to grab the car keys
And we're off! That way, short round! To glory!
But first, some sexytime.
I suppose a brief break from treasure hunting wouldnt hurt
And she does seem awfully talented...
Go on, smack that ass, you know you want to
After that night, I dont think I will sit comfortably for a week
Oh dont look so shocked. Try and find the secret passage to lead us to the treasure
Strong work, you two. Not lets get our danger faces on
Cmon, we're getting closer, I can feel it!
Wait, whats that behind you!
Could it be?
The fabled Maharani sweet/treasure room!!
Job well done, my friend. Now lets see whats inside...
Garbed in Royal Attire, and armed with our newfound knowledge of hindi gleaned from watching Tere Ho Love Naal Gaya (seriously, go see it) we set off the next morning to go explore the Amer, or Amber Fort.
Of course, this being India, Short Round and I certainly were not going to walk up to the fort like the rest of the peasants. No sir, we were going up in style
That's right, we rode up on a luxury elephant. What made it luxury? Well aside from the power steering, this particular model was pachy-dermed full of extras like air conditioning. Or so the driver told us when the elephant reached up his trunk and definietly did "NOT" sneeze all over us.
Okay, so we totally went up like the rest of the peasants. Ascending to Amer Fort by elephantback is a popular tourist attraction. But animal lovers, dont fret. Each elephants workday consists of only 5 rides up and down the mountain total, or 5pm, whichever comes first and they are done for the day. Plus they get bathed in the lake at the bottom
The Main entry is through the Suraj Pole (Sun Gate) which leads to Jaleb Chowk, which is the first main courtyard. This was the place where armies would hold victory parades with their war bounty on their return from battles, which were also witnessed by the Royal family women folk through the latticed windows.This gate was built exclusively and was provided with guards as it was the main entry into the palace. It faces the eastern direction towards the rising Sun and hence the name
Ganesh Pol or the Ganesh Gate, named after the Hindu god Lord Ganesh who removes all obstacles in life, is the entry into the private palaces of the Maharajas.
Just outside the Ganesh Pol is another Diwan-I-aam, or hall of Public Audience. So we made a public spectacle of ourselves and gained an audience by our awesome jumping photo abilities where we all totally landed in perfect balance as you can tell from the photos.
Above is the Jai Mandir aka Sheesh Mahal (mirror palace, or sheesh, my hall is shiny), which is exquisitely beautified with glass inlaid panels and multi-mirrored ceilings. The mirrors are of convex shape and designed with coloured foil and paint which would glitter bright under candle nights at the time it was in use. Faced with craftsmanship of such beauty and clear importance...well, you know whats coming next, right?
Explorers up close with a wide angle lens.
This is the "Magic Flower". The flower has seven unique designs of fish tail (western flower), a lotus, a hooded cobra (northern flower), an elephant trunk, a lion’s tail, a cob of corn and a scorpion (eastern flower), each is viewed by a particular way of partial hiding of the panel with hands. You find the rest, and best of luck!
Having some more fun with the mirrors and playing with perspective on my camera
just behind the sheesh mahal is this amazing view of Moat Lake, where the elephants relax after a long hard day of work.
In the second courtyard of Amer Fort, you can see in the distance a slightly more defendable structure. It is connected to Amer Fort by secret passageways so the royal family could flee like rabbits tactically retreat if the main fort was ever taken.
Of course, secret passageways werent just used for fleeing, they were also used for sexytime. The Raja would have multiple wives, and to prevent any of them from getting jealous of how often he was visiting the others, he had secret passages from his room to every one of the seven Ranis rooms. And presumably a swimming pool chock full of escorts and courtesans, but hey, pimpin aint easy
Looking out over the palace, I tried to imagine what life would have been like back in those days
Short Round however, quickly shoved me out of the way, so he could get a view of a "sweet piece of curry"
No time for love, Short Round, we got places to be
I promise, Doom Temples are quickly approaching.
There's one now!...probably.
This was one of my favorite shots from the trip, although it is somewhat "hipster". I do have a few hipster tendencies, (e.g. my love for hats) to the point that there has been a drinking game made of my behavior...the rules are as follows. Anytime Dr J
A) does something hipster like take an artsy fartsy shot, say he liked something before it was cool, etc B) acts like a fattie foodie dreaming, fantasizing about, or photographing what he is about to eat or expressing food culture love or C) makes a terrible pun
everyone who catches it takes a drink. If you travel with me, and play this game, you will be drunk, or well hydrated depending on your beverage of choice. As such, we decided to have some fun with it and took a few "Hipster Album Covers" that will go on our LP's that are totally awesome but you would probably have never heard of
Here is the first...what should our hipster album title be?
Coming up next: The Treasure of Shahpura House
And a bonus for you readers: The Water Palace!
Not open to the public, so no accompanying story. Just two docs who love hats.
After the daytime stargazing, we wanted to see a bit of the city.
Jaipur is known as the Pink City, named for the Terra Cotta color of the sandstone making up all its buildings. As to WHy it was made Pink originally, well the most popular story goes that In 1853, when the Prince of Wales visited Jaipur, the whole city was painted pink to welcome him as pink is deemed to be a welcoming color. This, our guide promptly informed us, was a load of cow plop. Another popular story goes that the wife of Sawai Ram Singh, the Rajah of Jaipur at that time, adored the color pink, and so her husband passed a lot decreeing every building must be painted this color. This is also a load of poop, although slightly less so, as the city has had a law making the whole city pink since 1877. Whether it was because of a royal wife is unclear. As it turns out, we never learned the real reason because walking down the street we were suddenly distracted by...
SNAKES! or more accurately, snake charmers. Also, short round charmers. We asked if the snakes enjoyed any particular songs, for example, Dont Stop Believing by Journey. As it turns out, snakes have no ears and therefore are a bunch of philistines. They are just responding to the vibrations in the air produced by the instrument. Oh and dont worry about the danger...apparently these snakes had their teeth ripped out so they couldnt bite/kill the charmers. The work ethic of your average craftsman today is appalling, truly...
This magnificent structure is the Hawa Mahal, aka Temple of the Winds. It is modeled on the crown of Krisha and its numerous windows are filled with a ton of latticework that allows people to see out, but not in. This is so the royal women were not seen by men, observing the strict purdah-(face cover), but could still watch festivals, markets, and presumably impromptu musical numbers. After All, this is India
A short walk away from the Hawa Mahal and Jantar Mantar, and in fact connected to both is the Royal Palace. The Part immediately behind us is the actual still in use living quarters, but large sections of the rest are open to the public.
This is the Peacock Door, one of the 4 entrances to the courtyard in the above picture. The others are the emerald door, and umm the curry door and bhangra door...I dont know, I had sort of tuned out because this door was way more awesome looking
All through the palace are displays of weapons, like this gunwheel. Like a pinwheel, but more explodey
Since this is still a royal residence, certain areas remain off limits. Woe betide those who try to get into them anyway
Heh...erm, No ticket?
A Brief aside...if you are going to India yourself, please be aware that it is a tip based culture. And I mean that if you accidentally look at someone cross eyed they are going to expect a tip for the privilige. Now exchange rates aside, this is not a lot of money...until you consider how many people and how often you are tipping every single freaking day. It adds up, and amounts a ton of small bribes just to accomplish things you could easily do yourself but are not in fact actually allowed to. So bring cash, and lots of small bills, because this is a hidden cost that is not emphasized enough.
Inside the palace, in addition to all the impressive architecture, are a number of local arts and crafts
. The lady above is creating a henna pattern on the arms of Miss Crystal. Henna is a plant that once ground up into a powder can be mixed with any acidic liquid (lemon juice, tea, etc) to make a toothpasty liquid that is applied to the skin and will stain it for about 2 weeks.
Looking sharp!
After leaving the Royal Palace, we were all inspired to look for an appropriate craft to bring back for our memories. Miss Crystal had her Henna, and Short Round briefly considered purchasing a magic carpet
However, he exceeded the weight limit, and he decided he could find plenty of regular carpets at home. Dr Han and I opted to look for some traditional Indian Clothing...Dr Han found a lightweight Kurta, a pajama shirt usually made of cotten and I...well,
Prince Ali, mighty is he, Ali Ababwa! Heard your city was a sight lovely to see!
So try your best to stay calm...Indiana Josh and Short Round are the bomb!
Traveling to show a whole new world to you and me! (music trails off)
This was a total impulse buy. I did technically need a suit to go to an Indian friends wedding...however I looked so damn good in this getup that I rationalized that eventually all my Indian friends would get married and I could just keep wearing it. It may also make a future upcoming appearance at a karaoke night as a friend and I roleplay racially reversed Johnny Quest (i'm Haji!)
Feeling like ancient royalty, we decided to finish off the night feeling like modern royalty with a trip to the Raj Mandir. This place is basically like the Kodak Theater of India. It has seen a number of huge Bollywood openings, been visited and autographed at one time or another by most of the major stars in the industry, and basically just is a cool looking place to see a movie
The interior is all done in art deco style
We bought samosas from the snack counter and sat down to enjoy a 3 hour non-subtitled hindi film. But at least there was a lot of singing and dancing and we all got the gist. Go check out a Bollywood film if you get the chance, they are much of the fun
Upcoming Posts from Jaipur: Amber Fort, Dera Amer Elephant Camp, and the coolest looking Hotel ever that we got to stay in and will deserve its own entire post.
As always, the photos here are merely a selection from the hundred I took, and if you are interested in seeing the rest, along with any other travel photos, please just shoot me your email address and I will add you to my google circles.
(Shoutut to Fushmush and the Wilsons, because they are still by far the best travel buddies Short Round and I have met on our journeys, and havent spoken with them in a while)
And so, with full bellies and empty bladders, we left behind the bustling streets of New Delhi and set off for Jaipur along dusty roads cluttered by cattle, camels, and something else alliterative. No I wouldnt make that up
To help pass the time on the road we played a number of improv games such as good idea, bad idea (come up with one, next person has to change it to make it into the other); fortunately, unfortunately (you tell a story with each person alternating the sentence beginning), and alphabet story (tell a story where each person has to start their sentence with the next successive letter of the alphabet). By far the best way of passing the time was Russian Hangman.
A Game taught to me by a friend made on the beijing trip, it consits of one person thinking of a word, such as balloon. The first letter is given, but nothing else. Then each person goes around and asks the wordmaker any question they want. The wordmaker has to think of an answer to that persons question that begins with the letter he gave
Word: balloon (word and length unknown to all but wordmaker) Person 1: Is it a type of fruit? Wordmaker: no, it's not a Banana Person 2: is it a sports team? Wordmaker, no, it's not the Bulls
This goes one until the wordmaker cannot come up with an answer to the question beginning with the appropriate letter. To avoid bluffing by players, if the questioner cant come up with an answer, no additional letters have to be given out
Word: Balloon: Person 3: is it a french philospher? Wordmaker: ??? (doesnt know any starting with B)
If person 3 is able to give a response, then the wordmaker needs to give the next letter...as in, the second letter is A. now the whole thing repeats with all the answers having to start with the letter A. This goes on until the word is within 1-2 letters of ending. At any time, the people playing can use their turn to try and guess the entire word, but they each only have 2 guesses before they are "out"
Whoever guesses the word gets a point and becomes the new wordmaker. If nobody guesses and the word is revealed, or if all the guesses are used up, then wordmaker gets a point. One round of this with every person as the wordmaker killed about 3 hours of the trip as we all learned how creative we can be when asked questions about literally anything and everything
In practically no time at all, we arrived at our first site in Jaipur, the Jantar Mantar Observatory. The observatory consists of fourteen major geometric devices for measuring time, predicting eclipses, tracking stars' location as the earth orbits around the sun, ascertaining the declinations of planets, and determining the celestial altitudes and related ephemerides. Each is a fixed and 'focused' tool
It contains a number of old and still functioning astrological instruments, like the worlds biggest sundial, which you can just make out behind Dr Han. It is accurate to two seconds Jaipur Time. Its shadow moves visibly at 1 mm per second, or roughly a hand's breadth (6 cm) every minute
Or this which does something impressive with geometry, probably
Jayaprakash Yantra consists of hollowed out hemispheres with markings on their concave surfaces. Crosswires were stretched between points on their rim. From inside the Ram, an observer could align the position of a star with various markings or a window's edge. The Mishra yantras were able to indicate when it was noon in various cities all over the world. The something whose name I forgot Yatras were able to locate individual constellations in the night sky
You can just make out the shadow behind Miss Crystal and Dr Han, it is WAS in fact accurate with local time
Each of those little staircase sculptures is a guide to locating an individual constellation. They are very strict about people climbing on them, more specifically, they do not allow it. So of course you know what we had to do
The whole gang, destroying history and culture, one monument at a time
We werent quite sure what this did, but it makes a cool looking picture
Oh Shit! Is this a mayan death calendar? A timekeeper of DOOM???
Nope, Just some crazy starship for telling important calendar dates around the world. No 2012 end in sight.
Every instrument in this place was designed by Jai Singh II, a brilliant guy. The small structure in the foreground is not an astronomical tool at all, but the scale model built before the two instruments in the background that was used by the architects to measure dimensions. And yet even the models are functional, although slightly less accurate.
After the observatory, stopped for lunch before moving on to our next destination. Never ones to have a meal without entertainment, we enjoyed a sitar with our thali
What further adventures lie in store? Keep reading (and or recommending ) to find out!
So the question I am sure is on everyone's mind, is did Dr J eat the street food?
After all, this trip is referred to as The Temples of Doom, right? surely there must be more temples, or at least a modicum of doom?
Well fear not, all those questions will be answered ere my travel posts are done.
We made one brief pit stop in Delhi before setting off on the 5 hour drive to Jaipur. And appropriately enough, it was a bathroom break. Or more specifically, the International Museum of Toilets
After grabbing some reading material and informational brochures, we took a look around
Toilets of every style and region abounded, a veritable shitload of crappers. And yes, in case you were wondering, this museum was specifically on my itinerary prior to leaving the U.S.
In fact, even the museum staff was surprised at our groups level of enthusiasm, seeing as how the museum, which is normally closed on Mondays, was opened up EXCLUSIVELY for us. Yes, wandering americans came to view what exactly puts up with Indians shit.
Did you know there is a code of toilet etiquette that changes whether you are married, single, celibate, or a saint? well now you do! Although this sign gives no clue what that etiquette is, it does note that more holy people must follow it more strictly
Ward learned about this while browsing the sunday funnies, and test driving and earlier modern model
I explored an outent until I was rudely surprised
Miss Crystal and I then tested the durability of the f1 mach toilet, to see how well it could hold up to Delhi Belly levels of force. As it turns out, this turned out to be a prophetic test...but I will mention that more later in the trip. Or not, you can probably figure it out.
Short Round took advantage of the opportunity to let his inner bully roam free, and unwittingly turned himself into the perfect internet meme...this photo will be on reddit and 4chan, please go caption it with your best, or leave a caption here! lets turn short round into a full fledged interwebs celebrity!
Ward suggested we all relieve ourselves before setting out, so we each found our favorite model and cut loose
Howdy!
While visiting Red Fort, we happened to pass by a merchant who was shouting "BEARD FOR SALE!". Convinced we initially misheard someone perhaps selling beads or beer, we ignored it until on our way out we encountered the same hawker with a fistful of facial hair. Well, when life hands you cheap full beards, you buy them and dont look back! We figured the effort of straining over these squatty pottys would only help the beards look more natural and give us the flimsy excuse we were looking for to use them in photos. And yes, I am wearing a beard over my actual beard, thus making me twice as manly
But enough of this toilet humor...we have a new city to explore!
From Red Fort We met up once again with our driver BP, who was by far one of the most trustworthy people we had ever met. It's like he had an internal bat radar to detect when we needed him and would instantly pull up. He also told us about the important rules of driving in Delhi: good breaks, good horn, good luck. Once we were safely ensconced in the van, we took a short trip to visit the grave of Gandi, which is one of the most well maintained places I have ever seen. In a city that is so often surrounded by or buried under filth and refuse, every at Gandhis grave is immaculate, and it is clear he is still as revered as a great leader in death as he was in life.
From the Tomb of one famous Indian to that of another, our next stop was the tomb of Humayun, the second Mughal emperor
The first example of a "paradise" or persian burial garden on the indian subcontinent, it not only set the stage for succeeding Mughal emperors to create royal Mausoleums, but also served as a model for the Taj Mahal, built by the fourth mughal emperor Shah Jahan
Imagine that this was made of marble instead of sandstone, and voila! instant wonder of the world.
We approached the entrance with some trepidation, seeing as how Indians have mixed/confused views on holy objects and religious imagery. Sound rascist?
Think again. Apparently this is a blessing or affirmation of life and positivity, at least until it is rotated 45 degrees, which gives the now infamous german logo.
Also, this is probably not a rabbi. But I digress. There we were entering the steps to the final resting place of Humayun
Hmm. Seems like he was down with the Jews after all.
The cenotaph of the second Mughal emperor
And our silhouetted adventurers pause for a moment to bask in the wonder of the things they have seen thus far, before setting off to one of their most dangerous sites yet: The Qutb Complex!
Yes, amidst the still stand columns, and a host of booby traps, the Qutb Minar, or victory tower can be espied. It is this structure, the tallest brick minaret in the world, that gives the complex its name
Filled with miles of columns, graves, arches, and archeaological accomplishments, we stood there unsure of what to do first...
Short Round was having a grand time admiring the architecture, until he set off a hidden trap from which we had to flee
luckily, years out of use, the trap had rusted and all we ended up running from was a few confused locals
A brief dash through another archway
dodging a few more snares along the way using only our wits
and bypassing the resting sites of those who had come before, we finally arrived at Qutb al Minar
This erection (as our guide referred to it) Thrusts into the sky at an impressive 239 ft (72.5 meters metric world!) and was built by three different rulers, not too mention struck by lighting twice. One can only admire the workmanship of such a towering erection
Or, you know, make a phallic joke. Whatever.
This stubby little fella was eventually supposed to compete with and even outstrip the qutb minar, but it remains an unfinished erection, incomplete because the sultan who ordered it built blew his wad of cash and materials too early, leaving it standing forever impotent and powerless in view of its more successful counterpart. Miss Crystal therefore took pity on this tower and rewarded its desperate efforts by posing in front so you could all ooh and ahh at this cyclopean endeavor.
Having finished our sightseeing, we journeyed around to the flea markets, a tea store where we purchased darjeeling (the champagne of teas) and dinner with some friends of friends before finally bedding down, awaiting the morning to continue our journey out of Delhi and onward to Rajastan, land of princes, pachyderms and our next destination.
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