October 2, 2009

• Facepalm patients

  An orca fat patient (BMI 40) came in for diabetes and sleep apnea. As part of the social history, she mentioned she loves disney, especially the little mermaid. During which the following song would not leave my head (to the tune of part of your world)

  Look at my fat
  Isn’t it neat?
  Wouldn’t you think my belly’s complete?
  And wouldn’t you think I’m the blob, the blob who ate…
  Everything?
  
  Look at my rolls, how many’s untold?
  How much jelly can one belly hold?
  Lookin’ around here you’d think
  Sure
  She’s eaten, everything
  
  *(yes, inner me is horribly insensitive. often outer me too in non professional settings: deal with it)
  ——————————-

  Then 18 year old male patient who could, perhaps, be a bit more worldly
  Dr J: Have you had any unusual discharge from the penis, or any burning when you urinate?
  Pt: “I have a white discharge, but only when I’m excited.”

  ————

  and from one of my nursing friends…

  Gentleman comes into ER with 3y/o child w/ c/o fever. i go into the room to do a rectal temp. father pulls down the pull-up and i go to it. the child screams “no, not in the butt!!” the father replies ” yeah, you and your mother both” …

  • 8:35 pm
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